Bookstore
by cass189
Summary: Bella and Edward meet at a bookstore and fall in love. Will Bella face her insecurities and the people who want them apart or will she give Edward up? AU-All Human
1. Prologue

Hey, so this is my first Twilight story and I have a fairly good idea of where I'm going with it. I hope you like it.

Englsih is not my first language so forgive me for any mistakes. I tried to correct them but may have missed some.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Mrs. Meyer does._

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**Prologue**

He ran his hands through his hair, stopping to take a deep breath.

"I don't understand. What are you saying to me Bella?" I kept trying not to look at him, trying to avoid him. "Damn it, look at me Bella!" I gathered all my courage and lifted my eyes from the floor and looked at him, trying desperately not to cry.

"I just…" I took a deep breath getting ready. "I can't keep doing this, it's too much! I don't want to be with you any longer." Confusion. Anger. Understanding. Disappointment. Sadness. It all flicked through his eyes.

He stood looking at me, searching but not finding what he wanted. I wouldn't let him find it.

He nodded and took several steps back, walking to the door and slamming it behind him.


	2. Chapter 1 Bookstore

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Mrs. Meyer does._

This chapter features both points of view of the same situation. It won't always be like this, I just wanted to express both their feelings here.

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Chapter 1 – Bookstore

Walking down the street to the apartment I shared with Alice and Rosalie I couldtell I would have another one of those nights. I moved to New York with them a month ago and couldn't seem to have a complete night of sleep since then.

It's not that I am no comfortable here, I am, or that I hadn't had insomnia attacks before but somehow they just seemed to be more frequent and stronger now.

I sighed and turned the corner noticing the little bookstore. I have passed it many times without entering but decided I would today; it seemed like the perfect time.

I walked in and headed to the classics section. My copy of _Sense and Sensibility_ has, apparently, gotten into a fight with Alice and Alice has, obviously, won.

I browsed for a while, finally finding what I was looking for. I picked the book up and turned around so I could go pay for it. Clumsy as ever I managed to trip on my own feet, letting the book fall and barely managing not to fall myself by grabbing a bookshelf. I could see there was a man in front of me, bent down in order to pick my book up.

"Are you ok?" He asked me while standing up and looking at me. I was going to say yes but was momentarily speechless when I looked at him. He was, in a word, beautiful. He was tall and lean, his bronze hair was slightly tousled like he had just run his hand trough it and his deep green eyes were fixed on me. There was a concerned look on his face and I realized I probably looked stupid right now, looking at him like I was. "Are you ok?" He asked again, making me snap out of my temporary inability to speak.

"Yes. I just tripped." I may have been able to speak but I still couldn't stop looking at him.

"On what exactly?" His eyes scanned the floor noticing there was nothing I could possibly have tripped on.

"My feet probably…." I felt myself blush at my confession and he chuckled. It was a sweet sound.

"_Sense and Sensibility_?" He asked me this while looking at the book, which was still in his hands.

"Yes. My other copy didn't survive an encounter with my best friend." He raised an eyebrow at me, looking amused.

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure. Something about her wanting to cook and the book being in the way."

"How's that possible?"

"It's Alice! Anything is possible with her. All I know is that when I got home the book was absolutely soaking wet. I guess it was on the kitchen counter near the sink and fell in while she was cooking." He laughed at my explanation and handed me the book. When our fingers touched I felt some kind of electric shock and looked up immediately. He seemed taken aback for a second but quickly recollected himself.

"You should be careful with that one then. Don't leave it out near your friend again. We don't want it to have the same fate the other one had." I smiled at him, feeling unusually comfortable in the presence of this stranger.

"I will." We went silent while I kept looking at him, neither of us not knowing what to say next. "Well I'll go pay for my book."

"Oh, I'll go with you. I have to pay for mine too." He gestured for me to start walking with him and I did so.

"I'm Edward Cullen by the way."

"Edward! Like in the book." I gestured towards the book and he smiled at me. "I'm Bella Swan."

"Nice meeting you Bella."

"You too." We both went to pay for our books and he held the door open for me when we went out of the bookstore. I looked up at him and smiled before speaking.

"Well I guess I better head home before my friends freak out."

"Sure. Will you be ok?"

"Yes, I live near."

"Really? How come I have never seen you before? I came to this bookstore often." I smiled again while making a mental note that I should come here more often.

"I just moved. It's the first time I came here but I'm sure I'll be back soon." He smiled at me, making me stop breathing for an instant.

"I hope I see you again Bella."

"Me too." I sighted and bit my lower lip before looking at my watch. The girls would probably be calling me soon, worried.

"I see you have to go. I guess I'll see you around." I surely hoped so.

"Yes. Goodbye then."

"Goodbye." He smiled once again before I started walking towards my apartment. He lingered in front of the bookstore for a while before walking away. I sighed again. For some reason I hadn't want to say goodbye tot his guy I had just met. I really hoped I would see him again.

--

I opened the door to my apartment and was immediately bombarded by Alice.

"Where were you? It's getting late and you didn't say anything. We were worried."

"Relax Alice. I was just at that bookstore down the block."

"Until now?"

"Yes but I wasn't there for that long. I got out of work late today." Rosalie came in the living room, holding a bottle of water.

"Hey, you're home."

"Hi." I went to sit in the couch and took off my coat. Alice came to sit beside me.

"That's not that interesting. I thought you had met some guy." I looked at her not being able to hold back a small smile. "What? Did you meet a guy?"

"I actually did." Alice started to bounce up and down in the couch while Rosalie came to sit near me.

"Where?" She asked from her spot looking quite interested. I guess my slow dating history made them excited even with little news.

"At the bookstore." Alice raised her hands at me.

"Wait Bella. This guy is not one of those bookworms, is he?"

"No, he's not. I mean, I don't think he is. Didn't seem the type, although he did say he goes there a lot."

"Ok so tell us all about him!"

"I honestly can't say that much besides his name and that he is the most handsome man I ever seen." The image of him smiling played in my mind, filling my senses. I realized I didn't know anything at all about him. The bookstore was my only hope of seeing him again.

"So did you get his phone number?"

"No." I sighed.

"Why not?" Alice shrieked, making me jump a little.

"I guess I wasn't thinking straight at the time."

"That's no fun Bella." Alice got up and went to choose a DVD so we could watch it.

"I know…"

"Maybe you'll see him again at that bookstore." I smiled at Rosalie and nodded. I really do hope I find him again. I felt comfortable with him, which had never happened to me before and I couldn't deny I felt attracted to him as well.

I should definitely check that bookstore again as soon as possible.

EPOV:

I was tired but I knew I couldn't sleep. I had tried watching a movie but it didn't help me to relax. Another sleepless night was approaching, I could already tell, that's why I decided to take a walk and go to the little bookstore two blocks down. I went there regularly, most of the times without any book in mind, but almost always ended up buying one.

I went in and started looking around; stopping when a title would catch my attention. I stopped near the classics section, picking up a book that had interested me the last time I was here. I was vaguely aware of a girl browsing that section until she turned around and tripped on something, letting the book fall. I could see she had caught herself and bent down to pick up the book.

"Are you ok?" I got up and looked directly at her for the first time. She was beautiful. Her long brown hair was falling around her shoulders, framing her pale face perfectly. Her brown eyes were fixed on me.

I quickly realized she hadn't answered my question and wondered if she had hurt herself. It didn't seem so but I of course, couldn't tell.

"Are you ok?" I asked again and she finally answered.

"Yes. I just tripped." Felling relieved that she was not hurt I couldn't help but to look at the floor, wondering what had made her trip.

"On what exactly?"

"My feet probably…." She blushed when I looked at her and I couldn't help but to chuckle. Deciding I didn't want to embarrass I looked at the book in my hand.

"_Sense and Sensibility_?"

"Yes. My other copy didn't survive an encounter with my best friend." I raised an eyebrow, feeling amused.

"What happened?" She told me her little story of how the book had been damaged, making me laugh. When she was finished I handed her the book. When out hands touched I felt some sort of shock that run up my arm and down my spine.

She was looking at me wide-eyed and I could tell she had felt something familiar. I tried to pull myself together not wanting to scare her in case I was wrong.

"You should be careful with that one then. Don't leave it out near your friend again. We don't want it to have the same fate the other one had." She smiled at me, making me feel unusually comfortable in her presence. I am not usually a very outgoing person with people I don't know but somehow I felt like I could relax near this girl.

"I will." We went silent while and I took the opportunity to look at her, taking in her features until she told me she had to go pay for her book and I accompanied her.

"I'm Edward Cullen by the way."

"Edward! Like in the book." I gestured towards the book and he smiled at me. "I'm Bella Swan."

"Nice meeting you Bella."

"You too." We paid for our books and stepped outside where she told me she had to head home.

"Sure. Will you be ok?"

"Yes, I live near."

"Really? How come I have never seen you before? I came to this bookstore often.".

"I just moved. It's the first time I came here but I'm sure I'll be back soon."

"I hope I see you again Bella." I really did. I, somehow, found myself wanting to spend more time with this beautiful girl. I continued to look at her, watching her every move. She bit her lower lip and I smiled. When she looked at her watch I realized she had to go. "I see you have to go. I guess I'll see you around."

"Yes. Goodbye then."

"Goodbye." I smiled and stood there looking at her as she walked away. This wasn't something I was used to. Bella had interested me and I suddenly kicked myself mentally when I realized I hadn't even asked her for her number. All I knew was her name. Leaving things like this up to luck was just so typical of me.

--

I went home to find Emmett sitting in my couch.

"Hey!"

"Hey Emmett. What are you doing here?

"Nothing really. I just thought you were awake and came to see what you were up to. Where were you?" I showed him the book and he nodded. "Bookstore again. Is there some hot girl in there that you are after?" I knew he was kidding but couldn't help but to laugh. I guess from today on there would be.

"Not really but I met a cute girl there today."

"Picking up a girl at a bookstore is so likely of you!" I rolled my eyes and sited as well. "So are you asking her out?"

"I have to find her again in order to be able to do that."

"What? You didn't ask for her number?"

"No." I sighed.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I wasn't thinking maybe…"

"You're unbelievable Edward! You actually meet a girl you like and let her go just like that."

"I know Emmett! She seemed to like books so I guess I'll see her at the bookstore again someday." Tomorrow if I have a say in it.

"Whatever. I hope you do. And if so, please make a move on her. I can tell you how if you want. I know you're rusty by now."

"No thank you Emmett."

"If you say so…" I shook my head in disbelief and went to pick a drink.

I had to go back to that bookstore and see Bella again. Maybe I could go there every night until she showed up again.

I grinned at myself. Me, Edward Cullen, was actually that infatuated by a girl I had just met. I could already tell Emmett would have a field day with this.


	3. Chapter 2 Meeting

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this an review!

Let me know what you think of this one!

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**Chapter 2 – Meeting**

BPOV

I spent the whole day not being able to concentrate on my job. I wanted to go back to the bookstore and, hopefully, find Edward there.

Edward… I still couldn't believe I felt that attracted to a stranger and that he had taken the time to talk to me. He was good looking, that much was obvious to everyone, but had that been what made me lose the capability to form coherent thoughts? I did not know.

I wanted to see him again, if nothing else just to see if that feeling of comfort was still there, just to make sure I wasn't imagining things or fabricating feelings towards this man. At this point maybe I was.

When I finally got out of work after sending my article to the main editor I headed to the bookstore.

I kept thinking I was going crazy. Going after guys I didn't really know wasn't something I normally did. I often felt shy and awkward around strangers. Why was I doing it now?

I entered the bookstore and quickly scanned it. There were two women and one man inside but not him.

I sighed, thinking this was stupid. Why would he come to the same bookstore two days in a row? I almost turned around and headed home but decided that looking around wouldn't hurt. I really only had seen the classics section yesterday.

I walked around for a while, stopping to look at some books until I felt someone stop beside me.

"Looking for something in specific?" I was getting ready to tell the employee I didn't need any help that I was just looking around when I turned to see it was Edward who had spoken. He was looking at me whit a smile on his face.

"No, not really." Yes… I had been looking for you. How very cheesy…

I had not been imagining things. He was truly beautiful and that feeling of comfort and even safety was there again. "You?"

"No." He turned his attention to the books before looking at me again. "To say the truth I was hoping I would see you here again." He seemed embarrassed for a second and I smiled at how cute he could actually be.

Feeling braver by the fact that he also wanted to see me again I confessed my true intentions.

"Me too, actually…" He grinned at me and took a step closer. I could feel my heart jumping almost out of chest.

"So Bella, can I offer you a coffee?"

"I don't really drink coffee." His smiled fell ever so slightly. "But I will accept a tea or something along those lines." He smiled again, nodding.

"Do you want to see any book before we go?" I placed the book I was holding in its place almost immediately.

"No. I'm ready to go." He gestured for me to start walking and like last night held the door open for me. It was a cold night and I wrapped my coat more strongly around me.

"Where are we going?" We were walking down the street; Edward's hand was on my back leading me towards our destination.

"A little place I know. It's near. I think you'll like it." We walked a little longer and came to stop in front if a cosy looking coffee and tea house. It was near my apartment but I hadn't noticed it before. We went in and placed our orders. After the waitress brought us our drinks I noticed Edward looking at me, a look of concentration on his face.

"What?" I couldn't help but to feel self-conscious with him looking at me like that.

"Nothing." He ran a hand through his hair, tousling it even more. "It's just that I don't normally do this."

"What exactly?" He seemed a little nervous and I immediately dropped my eyes to the cup between my hands.

"Ask out girls I just met at a bookstore." I nodded, not looking up. "I really only know your name and that you seem to like books. Oh, and that you have a roommate called Alice, who apparently is very eccentric." I laughed out loud. He had it right on Alice.

"Well you know more than I know about you." He shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

"There's not much to know. I'm not very interesting." I looked at him not believing it. A man like him was anything but ordinary.

"I highly doubt that."

"It's true. You'll see."

"Well that's ok if it's true. I'm not interesting at all either." I really wasn't. I was plain and boring.

"No. I'm the one highly doubting that now. I find you very interesting. So interesting I want to know more about you." I looked at him and smiled slightly.

"What do you want to know?"

"Well…" He seemed to ponder for a second. "Your age. What you do. What you like. What you hate. Everything really." I felt myself blush slightly. I wasn't used to people being interested in me. I felt his hand touch my cheek very lightly and I looked up. He immediately pulled his hand back, smiling somewhat embarrassed.

"I'm sorry. I feel just too comfortable with you." I didn't mind. Actually, I found myself wishing for his touch again.

"It's ok." I slid one of my hands along the table to touch his. He seemed taken aback but quickly turned his hand so that his palm was facing up and I could more easily play with his fingers. His hand was a little cold and I noticed he had long fingers.

I took a deep breath and looked straight at him.

"Ok so… I'm 21. I'm a jornalist for a magazine."

"What do you write about?"

"A little bit about everything but mostly literature. I have a degree in English." He nodded, covering my hand with his. That electricity from last night was running up my arm again.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes, I like it but I'd like to teach someday or write a book." He smiled at me, never letting go of my hand. His fingers were playing with mine and caressing my hand. "Well I like reading and listening to music. I'm a quiet person."

"I like that." I looked at out hands and smiled. It felt right being with him. "What kind of music do you like?"

"I listen to a little bit of everything I guess. I really like classic music though." A huge smile appeared in his face and I had to know why.

"Can I ask why the smile?"

"I work for a magazine too. I'm the music section editor and write some of the articles. Classic music is my favourite. I also teach piano to some kids. " I quickly had a smile in my face that matched his.

"What about your family?"

"Well… Charlie, my father, is a police officer in a little town in Washington called Forks and my mother lives in Florida now. They got divorced when I was about one and my mother remarried a few years ago." He seemed completely interested.

"What are you doing here in New York then?"

"I moved here a month ago with my friends when I got the job offer."

"Good." I stayed quiet for a while before turning the spotlight on him.

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"Yes. All the same questions."

"Well I'm 21. You already know I work in a magazine too. I obviously like music and reading. I like cars as well…" I let out a small giggle making him raise an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Let me guess. Fast cars?"

"Maybe." I started to laugh and he soon joined me,

"Ok. I don't have a problem with that. I don't understand much about cars to say the truth."

"Maybe I can teach you."

"I'd like that but let me wish you good luck already."

"Why? It can't be that hard. I'm a good teacher."

"I don't doubt that. I'm the one who may not be that good of a student when it comes to that subject."

"We'll see." I could only hope so.

"Ok. Go on please."

"Let's see… My parents are still married. My father is a doctor and my mother is an interior designer." I noticed a spark in his eyes when he mentioned his mother. "I have a brother too, Emmett."

"Who do you look like?" Weird question I know but somehow I imagined him looking just like his father.

"No one really."

"Are you a mixture of both your parents?"

"No, I couldn't be. I'm adopted. So is Emmett."

"Oh." I turned my attention to our hands again, feeling bad for bringing the subject up. He squeezed my hand.

"My parents died in a car crash when I was four. Carlisle and Esme adopted me shortly after. Emmett was adopted 2 years later. People say I developed a personality similar to Esme's." I smiled and reached to touch his face. He leaned into my touch and closed his eyes for a brief second. When I dropped my hand he tightened his grip on the other.

"Tell me about your brother."

"Emmett is very outgoing, honest and often inconvenient. He truly says everything he thinks. There's absolutely no filter between his mind and mouth. We always go on very well."

"He seems… interesting."

"He is. I don't think he ever met anyone who didn't like him." I smiled and kept listening to everything he had to say. He asked me a lot of questions too, some normal trivia, other more personal and always seemed to listen attentively.

I felt so at ease talking to him while he still hold my hand I didn't even notice time passing until Alice called.

"Yes Alice?"

"Bella it's midnight. Where are you?" I looked at my watch amazed. I had been talking with Edward non stop for four hours.

"I'm close to home Alice. I won't take long."

"Where are you exactly?"

"At a coffee house down the block."

"Oh… wait! You met that guy from the bookstore again, haven't you?" The little pixie always seemed to know everything.

"Yes." I heard her squeal and call Rosalie.

"You don't need to hurry in that case. Take your time getting home or if you want don't get home at all tonight…"

"Alice!" I felt Edward's hand brush my neck when he reached to play with a strand of my hair and shivered. I was sure he noticed but didn't say anything.

"I'm kidding Bella. We'll wait for you. I'll want to know everything!" She hung up before I could say anything else. I was up for a questionnaire today, I could tell.

"Something wrong?" Edward let go of my hair and took my hand in his again.

"No, it's just Alice. She'll have a questionnaire ready for when I get home."

"I see." He seemed amused and I rolled my eyes at him. I finished my second drink and sighed.

"It's getting late."

"Yes…" None of us seemed to want to leave but it had to be done so he took the lead. "I'll walk you home."

"You don't need to. It's near."

"I won't let you go alone and as you said it's not far so…" He called the waitress and paid. As he got up he stretched his hand for me to take it again and we walked hand in hand until we reached my apartment.

"So this is me." I looked nervously at him, thinking of how I could arrange to see him again. He cleared his throat.

"I really liked this night Bella."

"Me too." I looked at our hands until I felt him take a step towards me and place one hand in my face, his thumb caressing my cheek. I looked up at him and our eyes locked. We stayed still for a while; me totally lost in him, until he leaned forward and pressed his lips lightly to mine. He pulled back a little in order to see if he could go on and I closed the space between us, letting him know he could.

He kissed me slowly and softly, his lips moving perfectly with mine. I started to feel light-headed but didn't want to pull back. The way he was kissing me was too amazing to let go.

When we eventually did pull back he kissed my nose and I leaned my head against his chest.

"I have to go…"

"I know." He sighed and I pulled to look at him.

"Alice is probably getting ready to go hunt me down so I can tell her everything in detail!

"How does she know?"

"It's Alice, she knows everything. I might have mentioned you last night too." He smiled and touched my face again.

"Listen, two nights from today there will be a partial moon eclipse."

"Yes, I know. You can't really see from here can you?"

"No, but I know just the perfect place to see it if you want too."

"I do." I practically shouted my answer, no doubt embarrassing myself.

"Good." He brushed his lips against mine before looking at me with an amused expression. "You know, you're too willing to go somewhere you don't know with an almost stranger. I could be an assassin you know?" I shrugged.

"I don't think you are. In each case I think I'm taking my chances. You're not a stranger anymore but I can say no if you want to."

"No!" He almost shouted it too making me grin. "I want you to go." I was the one touching his perfect face now, brushing my fingers along his lips.

"I really have to go now. Maybe you can call me so we can set thing up for the eclipse night."

"Sure." He placed one hand in my hip, pulling me closer to him and kissed me again. Softly once more…

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight." I let go of his hand and started to walk towards the door but before I could go far he grabbed my hand again.

"Bella, I'm going to need your phone number." It was just like me to forget something like this. I reached for his phone, getting closer to him and he took the opportunity to play with my hair.

Alice could wait a little longer…


	4. Chapter 3 Invitations and Threats

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this an review! I really appreaciate it..

Let me know what you think of this one!

Thank you to SWEETASH229 for being my beta.

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**Chapter 3 – Invitations and Threats**

EPOV

I had slept better than I had in a long time. I had managed to meet Bella again and it seemed like she had some sort of calming influence over me.

In the back of my mind I had thought that if I got to know her I would realize she was no different or any more interesting than most other girls and that because of it I would no longer be interested. I was wrong though. Last night I got to know a little about her, I got to touch her and even kiss her and now I just found myself wanting more.

I couldn't keep her completely away from my mind as I worked and it only got worse when I got home. I kept thinking about how beautiful she looked when she blushed, how she got excited and her eyes would shine when she was talking about something she liked, how her small hand had felt warm in mine and how kissing her had felt right. Like it was something I was supposed to always be doing.

I frowned at myself. I had never been a true believer in love at first sight or in that force that pulled two individuals together, making them forget everything else. Still, here I stood, feeling exactly that pulling me towards Bella.

I fought with myself for a while. A part of me wanted to call Bella already, tell her I wanted to see her, that I needed to be with her. The other part, however, was telling me I would probably sound desperate, that she wouldn't want me to be interfering with her life.

She had seemed comfortable with me last night so, eventually the most optimistic part of me, the part that craved for Bella won the fight.

I picked up the phone and dialled her number.

"Hello."

"Hello, its Edward. How are you?"

"Better now? What do you mean? Have you been sick?" Just like me to get her sick because I kept her out until late when it was cold.

"No, I'm fine. I just…." She paused and seemed to take a deep breath. "Well I had a horrible day at work and I have wanted to hear your voice all day and now that I have I feel better." I was sure that if she was standing in front of me right now she would be blushing. I suddenly wanted to jump up and down. What was happening to me? I, Edward Cullen, did not usually feel this way.

"Why haven't you called me then? I have wanted to hear from you all day too."

"I don't know. I wasn't sure you wanted me to."

"Believe me, I wanted you to. I know what you mean though. I've been fighting with myself all day, trying to decide if I should call you or not, if you wanted me to. As you can see the need to hear your voice won and I called."

"I'm glad you did."

"I am too." I paused for a second listening to the noised around her.

"What are you doing?"

"Cooking actually."

"Not planning to go to the bookstore today?" She giggled.

"No. You?"

"No. I found what I wanted yesterday." Maybe even more than what I thought I wanted."

"Good." I could hear someone talking to her but couldn't understand what was being said.  
"Is that one of your friends?"

"Yes Alice. She just took over dinner."

"How did the questioning go yesterday?"

"Oh, it was horrible! She tortured me for information on you."

"And?"

"Well I told her she would have to wait to meet you. She can judge you for herself then."

"I'd like that." Somehow meeting her friends seemed like a natural thing to do.

"Bella, do you want to go out with me tonight? I'd like to see you. We can go to that coffee house. I promise I won't keep you out until late. Take your time with dinner too." I desperately wanted her to say yes.

"Yes, I do. Can you pick me up? I won't take long."

"Of course. I'll be there in 30 minutes. Does that sound good to you?"

"Amazing." I smiled at myself.

"Good. I'll see you later then."

"Yes." We hang up and I went to grab something to eat fast. I wanted to be with Bella as soon as possible.

--

I almost ran to her apartment when I was done and was now I was at her door. She opened the door for me looking so…delicious. Was that an acceptable adjective?

"Hey." She reached out to touch my chest and I took the opportunity to kiss her cheek. She was so soft.

We stood looking at each other while I ran my fingers along her cheek and through her hair. She parted her lips slightly when I touched the corner of her mouth and I leaned in to kiss her gently.

Her lips felt warm and soft against mine like last night, she tasted better than I seemed to remember. She was intoxicating.

When we pulled back she hid her face in my chest and I wrapped my arms around her so I could feel her closer and breathe in her smell.

We stayed like that until someone came into the room.

"Hi. You must be Edward." Bella pulled back and I found myself looking at a tall, blonde girl. Her hand was stretched for me to take it.

"I am. You are…Alice?" She smiled as I took her hand.

"No, I'm Rosalie. Alice is the bouncing one." As on cue a voice sounded from another room and soon afterwards a small, pixie like girl came into the room almost running.

"Don't let her go Rose. I want to meet this guy." Bella seemed to blush and hide against me again.

"Well hello there. I'm Alice!" She practically jumped towards me and pulled me down so she could hug me and kiss my cheek. I was taken aback by her actions but quickly realized that was her normal behaviour.

"I've wanted to meet you. Just to see if you really are all that Bella says." Bella groaned and sent Alice a look that clearly said stop.

"Well I've heard about you two too."

"Yes. She told you I was crazy, didn't she?"

"Not really, more like… Full of energy." She smiled and bounced a little. She didn't seem to be still for long.

"Maybe that's true but I'm just excited! Bella doesn't normally go out much." I placed my hand in the back of Bella's head and pulled her closer to me. That was another thing we had in common then.

"I don't either."

"Good. I just want to let you know that I like you and all but if you hurt her I will personally hunt you down and beat you! I can do it too!" She said this holding her head up, trying to look dangerous. I held back a smile

"Ok Alice. I think that's enough threats for today."

"I'm just saying Rosalie."

"You don't have to worry Alice. I don't plan to hurt her at all. I'll still keep your warning in mind." I looked down at Bella and earned a little smile from her.

"Can we go now Alice?" Bella turned to look at Alice, who clapped her hands and nodded.

"Sure, behave! Actually, on second thought, don't behave that much." Bella pushed me out of the apartment while waving Alice away. Once we were on the street I pulled her against my side, trying to keep her warm.

"I'm sorry about that. Alice was just being… well Alice."

"Don't worry about it. She worries about you. It's good to know you have people taking care of you." She smiled and rested her hair in my shoulder as we walked down the street.

When we got to the coffee house we went to the same table as last night, but instead if sitting in front of her I took the sit beside her so I could keep her as close as possible.  
I kept kissing her hand and sometimes her cheek while she told me about her day. She would often lean into me and press her face against my cheek. I would kiss her nose then, waiting for her to turn her head a little so I could kiss her mouth. She would do it every time and we would stay lost in each other for the next few minutes.

Our kisses were soft and gentle. She tasted a little like the chocolate from her drink.

When it started to get late I got up and walked her home.

We were standing at the stairs to her apartment and I had my arms wrapped around her as we kissed. She was standing on the step above mine so we were nearer in height and she didn't have to stretch to kiss me.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For calling and taking me out tonight. I really enjoyed it." I kissed the corner of her mouth.

"How could I not?" She smiled and leaned in to kiss me deeper than any other of our kisses. I let my tongue trail her lower lip and felt her open her mouth a little, granting me access. She moaned when I thrusted my tongue inside her mouth slowly, tasting her completely for the first time. Her tongue came to massage mine and we continued out kiss until we had to pull back for air.

I pulled a strand of her hair that had fallen back against her ear and she bit her lower lip. I didn't think she realized she did that, it was endearing.

"So do you still want to go watch the eclipse with me?"

"Of course. It's Friday after all. I can stay up late!"

"Bring warm clothes it might be cold." I tucked her coat better around her not wanting her to feel cold or get sick.

"Where are you taking me exactly?"

"A place I know. It's a little out of the way but it's perfect. There's everything we need there. I'll even have a place ready if you get tired and want to sleep." Did that sound too much like an invitation?

"That, as Alice would say, would require another set of clothes."

"Then bring it. I may want to keep you there for the night." I leaned in to kiss her neck and she wrapped her hands around my neck. I'd very much like to keep her with me all night. Just having her sleep next to me would be amazing. I just wanted to keep her close for as long as I could.

"That sounds good."

"I'll pick you up at 8 then." She agreed and leaned in once more, allowing me to kiss her again and again.

I didn't want to let her go but it was getting late and we both had an early day tomorrow so I let her go eventually, watching her get in before I headed home completely intoxicated by this girl.


	5. Chapter 4 Eclipse

Once again thank you to everyone who took the time to read this an review! I really appreaciate it..

Let me know what you think!

Thank you to SWEETASH229 for being my beta.

**Chapter 4 – Eclipse**

BPOV

"Where exactly is he taking you?"

"I wish I knew Alice!" I was getting dressed while Alice was sitting on my bed, deciding which pajamas I should take and making a face at the ones I had chosen.

"Maybe you should take sexier pajamas."

"Alice!"

"I'm just saying! You never know how the night will end."

"I'm not going to sleep with him tonight! Actually I don't even know where I'm going to sleep so I want to feel comfortable." She made a face at me but surrendered.

"Fine! I'm taking you shopping next week though. I have a few things in mind that your Edward might like." I shook my head and put on my shoes.

I didn't know exactly where Edward was taking me but he had said I should wear warm and comfortable clothes and I did so, much to Alice's despair.

"You know I like Edward, he seems nice."

"You do?" She nodded and smiled at me.

"He makes you happy and I'm grateful for that. You've been alone for too long already."

"Thanks Alice." She got up to hug me and rearranged a strand of my hair.

"From what I've seen, you make him happy too, so I predict a very interesting future for you two."

"You predict?"

"Yes, I do!" She winked at me and went to sit down again.

I practically ran to the door when we heard a knock, leaving a very amused Alice behind me. I tripped on the way, which made me hit the door with both my hands.

"Bella?" Edward's voice sounded worried through the door.

"I'm fine I just slammed against the door." I could hear him chuckle as I rubbed my hands. The impact had actually hurt.

I opened the door to see Edward standing there, as breathtaking as ever, with an amused expression on his face and I all but jumped into his arms, forgetting the pain in my hands.

He took two steps back because of the impact but laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Well I think I like this kind of welcoming." I blushed and tried to hide my face in his chest but he took it in his hands before I could and made me look at him. "I missed you today."

"Me too." I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him and he met me halfway. When his lips tried to open my mouth I gave him immediate access, feeling his tongue explore my mouth. His lips were soft and moved steadily against mine and I immediately felt a rush of satisfaction run up my body.

"If you two want to do that now maybe you should get out of the hall. I don't think the neighbours will appreciate that kind of public display of affection." I let go of Edward and turned to scowl at Alice.

"Hello Alice. How are you?" Edward on the other hand didn't seem to be mad at her. I was starting to realize he thought she was amusing.

"I'm good. You?"

"Very good." Alice joined her hands in front of her and started to move her body from side to side.

"Can I know where you are taking her?" I knew she was dying to know. Curiosity always got the better of her.

"Not yet. I'm sure Bella will tell you everything when we get back though."

"Oh she will!" Alice smiled her evil little smile at me and I sighed, thinking of what was to come. Edward kissed the top of my head when I did so and I looked up at him.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, just let me get my…" I took a step towards the living room to go get my bag but was immediately hit by it. Alice had all but thrown it at me. "Bag!"

"Bye you two. Have fun, and please, Edward do not bring her home tonight."

"I don't plan to." He took my bag and reached for my hand. I turned to look at Alice who smiled and waved at me as Edward led me to his car.

She really seemed eager to get me out of the house.

"This is a nice car. It's shiny." He held the door open for me to get in and laughed at my comment while I did so.

"Thank you." He got in and raised an eyebrow at me. "You really couldn't care less about cars, right?"

"No, I couldn't!" He laughed again and leaned in to kiss me before starting the car.

"Can I know where you are taking me now?"

"My parents have a little cottage out of town that has an amazing garden. I thought we could have some sort of picnic and watch the eclipse there."

"A cottage?"

"Yes. It's little but it has everything we need." He turned to look at me, which scared me since he was speeding down the road. He misinterpreted my reaction. "We don't have to go if you don't want to or feel uncomfortable. I can take you back home if you want."

"No, I want to go. It's just… Can you please not drive that fast? It's scaring me." He smirked at me but slowed down a little. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He reached to play with a strand of my hair, making me jump slightly.

"Edward it's not that I don't like it when you do that but please keep your hands on the steering wheel and your eyes on the road." He laughed at me this time.

"I'm not going to crash the car. I have never gotten a ticket!"

"I know but still…"

"Bella do you really think I would hurt you?" I looked at him and touched his face.

"No. I know you won't but you drive like a maniac!" He shook his head and took my hand before slowing down to an acceptable speed, making me feel more relaxed. I was apparently right when I thought he liked fast cars.

About 40 minutes later we got to our destination.

The cottage was small but cosy. A big garden spread in front of it and from there we could see the sky perfectly. Inside there was a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen and a living room with a fireplace ready to be lit. It truly was a welcoming little cottage.

Edward moved so fast that he got everything ready outside while I looked around.

"You did everything! I didn't get to help." He sat on a blanket he had laid on the ground and gestured for me to join him.

"That's because you don't get to do anything. You're here simply to enjoy the night." I frowned at him but went to sit beside him anyway. He pulled me closer when I did so and kissed my cheek several times.

"Is that your way of seducing me Mr. Cullen?" He lifted my legs so they were lying in his lap and started to kiss my neck. He sucked the skin there a couple of times before speaking.

"That depends. Is it working?" I wrapped my hands around his neck and moaned when he took my earlobe in his mouth.

"I think we can definitely say it is." He smiled against my neck and went on with his kisses. He started to leave a trail of kisses and gentle bites from the hollow beneath my ear to my neck and to my shoulder that left me breathless.

"Edward…" I tugged on his hair and he lifted his head to look at me, giving me the opportunity to kiss his mouth. He tasted so good and was touching me in such a tantalizing way that I found myself moaning repeatedly in his mouth.

When we pulled back I buried my face in his neck and started to kiss the skin there, gaining a moan from him before he tugged on my hair.

"Bella look." I lifted my head, not really wanting to stop and look at the sky. "The eclipse started."

The moon was very slowly passing through earth's shadow, making the sky visibly darker. As the moon started to disappear I turned to look at Edward.

He was looking at the sky, his pale skin was shinning slightly and his green eyes seemed to sparkle. He was almost too perfect.

He noticed me looking at him and pulled me so I was sitting comfortably in his lap and wrapped his arms around me. I kissed his nose and turned my attention to the vanishing moon.

"It's beautiful."

"It definitely is." He was looking at me.

"You're not looking at the moon Edward. You made me stop kissing you to look at it, so you better be watching it too" He smiled at me and kissed my face before tucking me even closer to him.

--

We stayed quiet, watching the eclipse until it ended. I was still cuddled in Edward's arms and it felt amazing. He was warm and his smell surrounded me making me feel relaxed, almost like I could close my eyes and just sleep for hours.

I buried my head further into his neck and closed my eyes, feeling extremely comfortable.

"You're tired." It wasn't a question but I still nodded. "Let's get you to bed then." He got up with me still in his arms and started to walk towards the cottage.

He only put me down when we were in the bedroom.

"I'll let you get ready while I bring the things inside." I nodded and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him before he left the room.

I went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth before going back to the bedroom where I changed into my pajamas.

I was putting my clothes in the bag when Edward came in from behind me, wrapped his arms around me and started to kiss my neck in a tempting way. I let out a moan and let my head fall back in his shoulder, giving him full access to my throat. I was sure the way he was kissing me must have been illegal...

"You look good." He pulled back in order to speak in my ear and I shuddered at the feel of his breath in my neck.

"I'm in my pajamas Edward."

"I know." He pressed himself further against me and bit my neck gently. "You look quite tempting wearing them." He ran one hand up my covered stomach and I turned around in his arms in order to look at him so I could see if he was teasing me. His eyes locked with mine and I realized he really thought I looked good. His eyes were a little darker than usual and the way he was looking at me made it seem like… like he wanted me.

I ran my hands up his chest, realizing he too had changed and pulled him in for a kiss. It started out soft but quickly became much deeper, more desperate. He nibbled and sucked on my lips gently while I ran my hands along his back. We only pulled back when the back of my knees hit the bed and I fell on it with Edward on top of me. I hadn't even realized we were moving.

I moved so I was lying in the center of the bed and brought Edward with me. He kissed my mouth with so much need I thought I was going to pass out from the sensation. Only when I couldn't breathe any longer did he pull back to turn his attention to my neck.

I wrapped one leg around him and placed my hands in his back again, under his t-shirt this time so I could feel the perfect muscles there.

I heard him groan against my neck when I moved beneath him, brushing our bodies together and his hand came to automatically cup my bottom underneath my pajama pants.

I moaned when his other hand brushed my breast and I wrapped myself more strongly around him. This man was surely going to drive me crazy. All I seemed to want lately was him.

"Bella." He took some of his weight off of me. "We have to stop now or I don't think I will be able to." His breathing was fast like mine and it took me a second to concentrate on what he was saying. "I really do want to do this but I don't want to rush anything." I soon understood what he was saying and realized he was right. We were going too fast. I wasn't ready for this yet. I really wanted him but I didn't want our first time to be rushed.

I kissed his and untangled myself from him allowing him to roll so he was lying on his back and he brought me to his chest.

"I don't want to mess this up Bella. I want everything to be perfect between us." I placed my chin on his chest so I could look at him.

"You won't. You're doing everything just right. I really enjoy being with you and everything has been perfect for me so far." He smiled and kissed my forehead. "Good self-control by the way."

"I wish it was that good!"

"Apparently it is." I kiss his neck and ran my hand up his chest. He sighed and took my hand in his.

"Sleep Bella. You're tired."

"I don't want to sleep." He chuckled making my body shake with his.

"What do you want to do then?"

"I don't know. Tell me something about you." I moved to kiss his neck, feeling his chest vibrate when he groaned slightly.

"What exactly do you want to know?" I paused for a while, thinking about the possibilities.

"Tell me about your girlfriends. How many did you have?" Dangerous territory, maybe I didn't want to know after all.

Edward wrapped his arms tighter around me and shrugged.

"There's not much to tell. Besides you I've only had one girlfriend and she's the only one I've ever been with." I wave of satisfaction hit me when he called me his girlfriend.

"I'm your girlfriend then?"

"I hope so." He nuzzled my neck and kissed my ear.

"I find that hard to believe..."

"What? That you're my girlfriend?"

"No, that I'm very comfortable with. I find it hard to believe that you only had one girlfriend before. I mean, have you looked at yourself? Don't you have mirrors at home?"

"Is that why you're with me? My looks?"

"Yes, you found my secret!" I nuzzled his neck before pressing the issue again. "So?" Once again he shrugged.

"I guess I was waiting for you." I smiled and kissed his mouth.

"What about the other girl? When did you date her?"

"Back in college. Her name is Tanya; she had a few classes with me."

"What happened?"

"Nothing much. I just didn't love her. To say the truth I don't think I ever really liked her. It's definitely nothing compared to what I feel for you and I've only known you for a few days." My heart seemed to skip a beat and he leaned in a little to kiss my cheek, neck and jaw. "I think she sensed I wasn't that into our relationship because she ended up cheating on me."

"She did?" He nodded still kissing my jaw. "How did you find out?"

"Oh I saw her with another guy. I broke things off then. "I ran my fingers through his bronze hair and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

"What about you?" One of his hands lifted the hem of my shirt a little and he started to caress the skin in my waist.

"What about me?" He playfully glared at me and I kissed his jaw again. "There's not much to tell either.

"I'm listening." I laughed and gasped a little when one of his hands ran along my stomach.

"I've only ever been with one guy too." He gestured for me to go on and kissed my nose. "His name is Jacob; we grew up together and started dating in high school."

"What happened?"

"Nothing much. We just wanted very different things. He wanted to stay in Forks and make a life there and I didn't." He nodded, tracing my lips with one of his fingers.

"Truthfully, I never loved him more than just as a friend."

"So this Jacob is there any chance I will ever meet him?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Maybe. Why?" He just shrugged and buried his head in my neck. "Edward. What is it?"

"Nothing." Not convinced I made him look at me so I could see what was there in his eyes.

"Tell me." He just shook his head. I took his lower lip between mine and sucked gently. "Tell me."

"It's nothing..." Seeing I wasn't going to give up he sighed." I just might be jealous..."

"Why exactly?"

"I don't know. Maybe because he was your first one and I would like it if it had been me." He buried his head in my neck again and kissed it before I made him look at me.

"That hardly matters. I'd rather prefer if you are my last one."

"I intend to be." He ran his hand up my back and pulled me in for a kiss that left me breathless once again. He was rather good at making me breathless...

I leaned in for another kiss that he broke too soon.

"Maybe you should really sleep now."

"Why?" I pouted slightly and he took the opportunity to suck on my lower lip.

"Because you're too irresistible for you own good." I rolled my eyes at him but smiled and placed my head in his chest again, closing my eyes. To tell the truth I was already a little sleepy, which was a rare state for me.

His hands ran up and down my back while he started to hum a song that quickly and surprisingly lulled me to sleep.

EPOV

I woke up later than usual, feeling more rested than I've had in a long time. I moved slightly so I could look at Bella who was still sleeping in my arms without waking her up.

She looked peaceful, relaxed and, of course, beautiful as always. I didn't think she realized just how beautiful she was.

Shortly after she lazily stretched in my arms and sighed slightly before opening her eyes to look at me. She rubbed her eyes as she smiled at me and I couldn't help but to lean in and kiss her forehead.

"Good morning." Her voice was still deep with sleep as she ran her hand up my chest.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?"

"Very well. Better than I have in a long time. What about you?" I kissed her forehead again and pulled her closer to me.

"That's good. I've slept surprisingly well, even with all the snoring…" She punched my stomach playfully while I buried my head in her neck and chuckled.

"I don't snore." I kissed the hollow beneath her ear, feeling her shiver slightly before speaking again.

"No you don't. You do talk during your sleep though."

"I know…" She placed one of her hands on my hair and I pulled back to see her blushing slightly. "Did I say something embarrassing?"

"Not at all." Hearing her say my name while she slept definitely wasn't embarrassing. In fact, it had caused a wave of satisfaction to run up my body.

"What did I say?"

"Nothing much. I couldn't understand most of it but you did say my name a few times. You also said something about liking the pajamas' you were bringing."

"Oh that…" She blushed again and bit her lower lip before I could take it between mine.

"What was that all about?"

"Nothing… Alice just wanted me to bring something a little sexier, in her words." She said this while hiding her face in my chest so I wouldn't see it. I pulled her up and kissed her neck once, running my hands up her body.

"I like these pajamas'." She raised an eyebrow at me and laughed.

"Kinky." I rolled my eyes at her and pulled her in for a kiss that she eagerly responded to. She moved so she was lying more comfortably in top of me and I ran my hands along the bare skin in her waist and back. She was so soft…

She kept running her hands along my chest while kissing me and when she moved her body against mine I knew I had to stop. She was too tempting.

I gripped her hips and pulled back to kiss her face gently.

"Aren't you hungry?"

"A little, yes…" I smiled and got up, bringing her with me.

--

After spending most of the day together at the cottage, I very unwillingly drove Bella home. If I could have my way I would keep her in my arms all day but she had already promised to go out with her friends.

I kept my mind on last night while I drove home. Bella was definitely amazing. She had looked so peaceful while speaking in my arms and the fact that she spoke in her sleep was amusing as well as endearing. Especially when she said my name…

I parked the car, walked to my apartment and opening the door.

"Why is it that every time I get home lately you're here?" Emmett was sitting in my couch, eating my food.

"Because I'm your brother and I like spending time with you. Also because I ran out of food and didn't fell like going to the supermarket."

"That's what I thought." I threw my keys to the table and went to sit down as well.

"So how was the night with Bella? Where did you take her exactly?"

"I took her to mom's cottage so we could watch the eclipse."

"The cottage, hum?" I decided to ignore his clearly suggestive tone.

"Yes, the cottage."

"So what happened? What did you do?"

"We watched the eclipse Emmett." He nodded and seemed to think about his next question for a second.

"And you slept there?"

"Yes. Is this going to be an interrogation?" Apparently Bella's friend wasn't the only one interested in knowing everything.

"Maybe. Where did she sleep exactly?

"In the bedroom."

"And you slept where?"

"In the bedroom as well…" He grinned at me.

"So you two slept together."

"That depends of what exactly you mean by that."

"You didn't do anything did you?"

"No Emmett." Not that I hadn't wished to….

"I knew I should have given you a few tips… I mean, you're probably rusty." I got up sighing.

"Thank you but no thank you Emmett." I walked to the kitchen, looking for a drink and he soon joined me.

"So I take it you really like this girl."

"I do." I sighed. "I really do like her."

"That's good and about time too!" I couldn't help but to roll my eyes at him. Of course he wouldn't miss an opportunity like this to make fun of me. "When do I get to meet her?"

"Never!"

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to scare her away." He laughed loudly.

"There's no way I could scare her. I might actually make her like you even more." I rolled my eyes again and smirked. "I'm charming like that!" I shook my head and he sighed. "Whatever. I'm sure she'll love me! Everyone does…"

"Or maybe she'll be the first one not to like you. It would do you good to meet someone who doesn't think you're all that charming." He laughed again while pulling his best cocky act.

"As if that's possible." I shook my head and opened the fridge to retrieve my drink. "Anyway I think I might just like this girl. You're looking better and more positive than ever, little brother." I scowled and he grinned before walking back to the living room.

He was right; my whole outlook on life has become much more positive since I met Bella. How could it not?

I sighed again; I was apparently right when I thought Emmett would have a field day with this…


	6. Chapter 5 Night Out

**Once again thank you to everyone who took the time to read this an review. It means a lot.**

Let me know what you think of this one!

Thank you to SWEETASH229 for taking the time to check this chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Night Out**

Edward and I spent the next two weeks after we met getting together every night.

He would come to my apartment after work and we would either stay in when the girls would, very conveniently, disappear or we would go for a walk.

I found out Edward also had frequent insomnia attacks, which allowed us to stay awake and together until late since neither of us felt the necessity to go to sleep early. If I could I think I wouldn't sleep at all.

Today was one of those nights when we would stay home and cuddle on the couch while Alice and Rosalie were out.

I loved being like this with him but if I was going to be truthful to myself I felt more and more attracted to him every day. I constantly craved for his kisses, his touch and the sensation of his body pressed against mine.

It seemed like since the night of the eclipse we found it hard to keep our hands off each other for too long but we would never take it too far. I felt like I would combust anytime soon but he was right, we shouldn't rush anything.

My only consolation was the fact that he seemed to have the same difficulty controlling himself as I did. It was flattering in a way, I must confess...

I moved a little closer to him, if possible, and kissed his neck lazily while running my hands along his chest slowly. His attention was immediately on me and he made us move easily so I was lying on the couch with him on top of me. It seemed like we would always end up in this position when we were here alone lately.

He placed his hands on my waist and I moved my legs so he could stand between them and I could wrap them around him as if I could pull him closer.

I pulled his shirt up a little so I could feel the skin in his back and felt one of his hands caress my stomach and move down to squeeze my butt, making me move my hips upwards to brush against him.

When he stopped kissing me and then rested his forehead against mine I knew that was his way of telling me we should stop for now.

"I guess we should stop." He nodded, kissing my nose before showing me my favorite crooked smile.

"Yes. Now the question is can you keep your hands off of me?"I knew he was kidding but, truthfully, I wasn't sure I could.

"If you can keep your hands off of me, then yes…"

"I'm not entirely sure I can." He took my lower lip between his and sucked on it. I sighed and untangled my legs from around him so he could slide a little down my body and place his head in my chest.

"You know I was thinking maybe we could go out with the girls tomorrow night. You could bring your brother." He ran his hand up my leg and I moved my left hand to his soft, bronze hair, tousling it even more.

"My brother is out of town on work but I can bring a friend." I nodded and he moved his head a little in order to kiss my throat a few times. "Where do you want to go?"

"I'm not sure. I think Alice wants to check out a new club downtown so maybe we could go there with her." He made me move my head to the side so he could have full access to my neck and pressed his lips there once again.

"Sounds good." I nodded and wrapped myself around him again so I could feel his body pressed against mine. This was quickly becoming a strong addiction.

He moved up my body and one of his hands went to my thigh, pulling my leg higher, while the other one rested on my waist.

When that hand moved to open the button on my jeans and slid beneath them, the door to the apartment opened and Edward pulled me up with him just in time for the girls to get in.

"Hey." Alice took a good look at me and winked. I was sure I looked flushed but pretended not to notice her and turned my attention to Rosalie who was placing some bags down.

"Where were you two?"

"We went to the mall so Alice could buy a few things for her job interview." That loosely translated meant they had gone on one of their never ending shopping trips.

"What were you two doing?" Alice moved to sit on the couch and winked at me again as if saying she knew perfectly well what I had been doing.

"Not much. We were talking about going out with you tomorrow night. Edward will bring a friend. What do you think?" He slowly ran a hand up my back, rearranging my shirt.

"I like it. Maybe we could go to that new club downtown I've wanted to check out." Rosalie seemed excited too.

"That's a good idea. It should be fun." With everything settled the girls left Edward and I alone for a little while until he had to go home but not before I got to steal a few more kisses from him.

--

The next day before we went out with Edward and his friend, Alice dragged me to another shopping trip that included me buying some under garments, that she thought would be appropriate.

"Ok, what's Edward's favorite color?"

"Blue I guess…" She nodded and looked around only to come back with something blue in her hands that she handed me.

"Alice there's barely any fabric in this!"

"Ok you're right. Let's pick something that's more you." She disappeared for a while only to come back with a much appropriate choice that she made me buy. I must confess that I actually liked it.

When we got home Alice instructed me to go take a shower while she picked the clothes I would be wearing today. Rosalie arrived shortly after and decided to help her. How I ended up living with two girls who loved dressing up when I couldn't care less about it, I would never know!

They ended up choosing a black dress that tied around my neck, that ended just above my knee and hugged my body nicely without being too tight.

"Wow, Edward is going to like that!" Rosalie walked into my room wearing a very flattering red dress.

"You look great."

"Thank you, you do too." She smiled and handed me a pair of high heel shoes I was sure would probably make me trip more often than I already do. I sighed and sat down to put them on when Alice walked to my room and saw the bag with my new underwear still in a corner of my room.

"You're not wearing that tonight?"

"No."

"Why not?" I got up, testing my stability with these shoes.

"I thought the whole point was for Edward to see it…"

"It is."

"So then I should wear it when he will."

"So that means he won't tonight?" I nodded as to answer Rosalie's answer. "Well I have to give it to you guys. You two have shown an amazing self-control so far."

"Well Rose I don't think it is that good." I scowled at Alice and she made a gesture as to wave me off. "Oh come on Bella, we know you two have some make out sessions when we are out." I blushed slightly but there was no way to deny it.

"Ok true, but we never get too far. And he's the one that truly has an amazing self-control."

"See Bella, with the way he looks at you I don't think he has…" I shrugged, not knowing what to say. Alice stepped closer to me and rearranged my dress.

"Do you want to be with him?"

"Yes…" There was no way of denying it. I wanted him more than anything…

"Then I'm sure you guys are going to make it perfect soon enough." Alice looked me over once again and went to finish getting ready when she thought I looked good.

I sat down on the couch in front of the TV, flipping through the channels until Edward knocked on my door.

"Hi."

"Hey." I jumped into his arms when I opened the door and kissed him, not really noticing the person standing beside him until that person cleared his throat. I pulled back to look at a tall, blonde man who had an amused smile on his face. I instantly felt myself blush and hide slightly behind Edward's arm.

"Bella, this is Jasper a friend of mine."

"It's nice to meet you Bella." He stretched his hand for me to shake it and I did so.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you too. Come in." I gestured for them to get inside the apartment and Edward took my hand while walking in. I was about to ask Jasper if I could get him something to drink when Alice burst into the living room.

"Bella do you think this dress looks good on me or should I change? Oh… Hi!" Of course the dress looked good on her. Alice knew how to pick up clothes that fit her well. I could see Jasper moving a little to better look at her while she eyed him curiously.

"It does Alice, you look really good." She smiled at me before turning her attention back to Jasper. He seemed to think about what to say for a second.

"You actually look beautiful if I may say so myself."

"Thank you." Was that a blush? I never in my life had seen Alice blush before; she was always so sure of herself. "You are?"

"I'm Jasper Whitlock. I'm Edward's friend."

"Oh, I'm Alice." She shook his hand just like I had and showed him her little pixie smile, that could only be described as mysterious.

Edward had an eyebrow lifted while he looked at the two of them and moved closer to me in order to speak in my ear.

"Interesting…" I smiled at him and kissed his jaw. It seemed like Jasper and Alice had hit it off instantly. It was definitely interesting.

Rosalie soon joined us in the living room and after all the introductions were done we went to the club Alice wanted to check out.

--

The club was actually quite nice. It wasn't too crowded and the music was nice. We gathered around a table and spent most of the time talking, which suited me well since dancing wasn't something I was good at.

Jasper told us he was a history teacher and that he was just moving back to New York after spending a few years in Chicago. He was nice, calm and quiet. He seemed like a very mature person.

Alice stood beside him, jumping up and down slightly while she told him about the job interview she would go to in a few days.

Alice and Jasper seemed to fit well together. At least he didn't seem afraid of her energy and she seemed to enjoy his company. I couldn't help to think that maybe Jasper would be able to control some of Alice's enthusiasm.

After a while Rosalie decided she wanted to go dance and Jasper and Alice quickly joined her leaving Edward and I alone.

He placed one of his hands on my knee before slowly moving it up my leg underneath my dress.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you." I looked at his body, noticing for the first time today what he was wearing. I was so concentrated on his beautiful face I didn't even think about looking at what he was wearing before. "You look really good too."

He smiled at me and placed his free hand on my face, pulling me in for a kiss. His kisses and his hand, which was on my bare thigh now, made it difficult for me to breathe.

When we pulled back he kissed the hollow beneath my ear before speaking.

"Do you want to dance?" I shook my head and placed my hand in his leg as well.

"I don't dance."

"You don't dance?"

"No. I have no sense of coordination at all, you know that." He kissed me again slowly, surely trying to convince me.

"I won't let you fall." I shook my head again but knew that I wouldn't win. "Come on…" He got up and brought me with him kissing my neck.

"Edward, I'm going to make a fool of myself."

"No, you won't. I'm here, I won't let that happen." He led me to the dance floor and placed his hands on my waist, making me move rhythmically with him.

After a while I decided to let go and actually started to enjoy myself. Dancing with Edward was easier than I thought it would be. He seemed to know what he was doing.

I looked around the dance floor and saw Alice dancing with Jasper. I could tell they were having fun together since the little pixie was laughing and Jasper seemed excited.

My thoughts about that subject were soon cut by the feeling of Edward's hands on my thigh and waist, pulling me closer to him.

I placed my hands around his neck, when he did so and pulled him down for a kiss before I rubbed my body against his. I could immediately fell him shudder but pretended not to notice it.

When I did again, he gripped my hips and spoke in my ear.

"Maybe we should go back to our seats." I looked up at him and put on an innocent face.

"Why? I'm actually starting to enjoy this dancing thing." He smiled and kissed my mouth once.

"You are?"

" Yes. You're a good dancer." I repeated my actions of earlier and once again he gripped my hips in order to stop me from moving.

"Don't pretend you don't know what you're doing Bella. You're dangerously tempting." I smirked slightly and kissed him quickly before reaching for his hand and walking back to our table.

Edward and I stayed with the others a while longer until I asked Edward to drive me home. Going out to clubs wasn't exactly my thing and by the way Edward eagerly complied it wasn't his either.

The girls decided to stay a little longer, though, with the promise Jasper would drive them home.

Once we were inside my apartment I turned on the living room lights and wrapped my arms around Edward's neck. He made me move a little so my back was touching a wall and leaned in to kiss me. When he pulled back to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear I kissed his jaw and took the chance to talk.

"You know I think Alice liked Jasper."

"Yes, I noticed that too. It's quite interesting I might say…"

"It definitely is! I'm sure she'll have something to tell me tomorrow!" He laughed and nibbled my neck.

"You say she's the curious one but I can see you're preparing to give her an interrogation of your own."

"Well, I figure it's time for her to have a taste of her own medicine…" He laughed again against my neck.

"You're mean."

"No I'm not."

"You are." He took my mouth in his at that moment, not allowing me to speak again. Not that I would want to now, either way, kissing him was way better than talking.

I moved my hands from his neck to his chest and gripped his shirt. He was kissing me with so much need I felt my knees give in slightly. Luckily his arms were strongly wrapped around me and kept me from falling down.

I don't think I would be able to explain to him exactly why I had fallen down without embarrassing myself.

He pulled back when we needed to breath and ran one hand along my covered stomach while the other pulled my dress slightly up. Goose pumps covered every inch of my skin his hands touched.

When the hand that was lifting my dress stopped beneath it at my thigh and squeezed it slightly I let out a deep breath and looked straight at him.

"I want you. I want to be with you." I blurred out the words and pressed myself further against him. He hugged me tighter and moved his hand up my body to my hair.

"I want to be with you too." He ran his lips along my neck and jaw to my ear. "I want you so bad. I just want to do it right."

"Edward, I'm sure it will be." He pressed me to the wall and nuzzled my neck before biting it gently.

"Have dinner with me tomorrow." I ran my hands up his back and tried to pull him closer to me. "We can do whatever you like later. You still have to see my apartment." I nodded and pulled him in for a kiss.

"That sounds good." He nodded and brushed his lips against mine before taking my lower lip between his and sucking on it. I moaned slightly and bucked my hips against his.

"Tomorrow Bella, tomorrow." I nodded slightly and ran my hands through his hair.

"Do you want to stay here tonight? I sleep better when you're near." He kissed the tip of my nose and smiled.

"Yes. I'll have to leave early though. I promised I would help Jasper move to his new apartment."

"Sure, that's ok." I reached for his hand and led him to my bedroom where I changed into my pajamas and he took off his shirt and pants.

I got under the sheets and waited for him to get out of the bathroom and join me.

"Edward, thank you for staying."

"Anytime! I sleep better when I have you with me too." I smiled and moved so I was lying in his arms, my head in his chest.

"Wake me up when you go tomorrow."

"I will."

Once safely cuddled in his arms I let myself soon be taken over by sleep.

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	7. Chapter 6 Dinner

****

**Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this and leave a review. I really appreciate it.**

Let me know what you think!

Thank you to SWEETASH229 for being my beta!

**Chapter 6 – Dinner**

EPOV

I woke up around 10 am in Bella's bed with her safely cuddled in my arms. We were lying on our sides with the sheets draped around our waists. Bella had one leg thrown over my waist and her face buried in my chest, under my chin, while I had one arm beneath her head and the other wrapped around her waist.

My hand laid on her ass almost as if I was trying to pull her closer to me. It seemed like even in my sleep I felt the need to have her as close to me as possible; felt the need to have her safe in my arms and her body pressed against mine.

I moved my hand slowly along her waist to the leg that was thrown over me, feeling how soft and warm her skin was. She moved a little when I did so and pressed herself further against me while still sleeping.

I smiled and kissed the top of her head. She was so lovely and looked so peaceful while sleeping…

I didn't want to move but I had promised Jasper I would help him. The thought to ditch him was strong right now though…

With a sigh I moved a little and kissed Bella's face before speaking in her ear.

"Bella, wake up sweetheart." She moaned slightly against my chest but didn't move any further.

"Bella." I kissed her forehead and this time she lazily opened her eyes to look at me. I smiled down at her and ran my hand up her back to her hair that was spread across the pillow. "Good morning."

She stretched in my arms and smiled before slowly kissing my chest.

"Good morning." I stood still for a few minutes watching as she slowly woke up. Even with sleepy eyes and her hair a mess she was beautiful.

"Bella I have to go home and change…" She frowned slightly and her lips turned into an adorable pout.

"Already? What time is it?"

"It's almost 10."

"Wow, I slept quite a lot then."

"You did. I only woke you up because you asked me too. You can go back to sleep."

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep again, especially without you here."

"You will." She moaned while shaking her head and yawned slightly.

"Did I say something embarrassing this time?" I smiled and pulled her up along the bed a little so I could kiss her more easily.

"Not at all."

"What did I say?"

"The usual. You said my name a few times and that you really liked me…" She blushed slightly and I kissed her now warm cheeks.

"Well, that's nothing new, you already knew that."

"Yes, but it's always comforting to hear." She smiled at me and ran a hand through my hair, pulling me in for a kiss.

When we pulled back she looked over my shoulder to the door and sighed.

"I guess you have to go help Jasper…" She untangled herself from me and sat up in bed while running a hand along my chest. "I'll make you some coffee while you get dressed." I sat up and took the opportunity to kiss her neck gently. Her neck was quickly becoming one of my favorite places of her body to kiss.

"You don't need to."

"I want to." I kissed her again before she got up. I watched her walk out of the bedroom and got up, heading to the bathroom where I washed my face and got dressed.

Once dressed I walked to the kitchen to find Bella making coffee while slowly swaying her hips from side to side in a hypnotizing movement. Itching to touch her I walked towards her and wrapped my arms around her midsection.

She let her head fall back in my shoulder when I started to kiss her neck again and I took the opportunity to bite it gently.

"Your coffee is ready." I pulled back to look at the coffee but instead of reaching for it I made Bella turn around so she was looking at me and lifted her up so she was sitting on the kitchen counter and I could stand between her legs.

She immediately wrapped her legs around me when I did so and her hands went to my hair, pulling in me for a kiss I gladly complied to. She definitely tasted better than coffee.

I moved my hands up and down her back under her tank top so I could feel her soft skin. She moved slightly so she was wrapped around me more strongly and rubbed her hips against mine making a groan grow deep in my chest. She was going to drive me crazy, I was sure…

I moved my hands to her waist while still kissing her and was the one rubbing my hips against hers this time. The second I did that someone gasped behind us making me stop and turn around to see Alice standing at the door with a mixture between shock and amusement on her face.

"I'm sorry; I didn't know you two were here." I took a deep breath and unwillingly moved to stand beside Bella. She jumped off the counter and gave me my cup of coffee.

"That's ok Alice we were only getting coffee."

"Sure." Alice winked at Bella and opened the fridge. "How are you today Edward?"

"I'm very good. What about you Alice?"

"Me too. I had fun last night." Bella smirked and joined her hands in front of her in a gesture very common in Alice.

"We noticed."

"What's that suppose to mean Bella?"

"Nothing pixie. Just that you seemed…. What's the right word?" Bella turned to look at me while raising an eyebrow.

"You seemed very at ease with Jasper." I completed.

"Exactly. Thank you Edward." Alice simply shrugged, trying not to give it too much importance. The way she moved her body from side to side, betrayed her though.

"He's nice." Bella smiled and looked at me with an amused expression on her face. I just shook my head and kissed her temple before drinking my coffee as Alice started to make her breakfast.

"Well ladies I have to go or I'll end up not helping Jasper at all."

"I'll walk you to the door." I said goodbye to Alice and headed for the door with Bella beside me.

Once there I leaned in to kiss her and ran a hand trough her hair, rearranging it as best as I could.

"I will come pick you up at 8, ok?"

"I'll be waiting." I pulled her in for another kiss before stepping out and heading to my apartment so I could take a shower and change.

I couldn't wait to be with Bella again.

--

BPOV

As soon as Edward was out the door Alice appeared in the living room.

"So Edward spent the night here. Did something happen?" I rolled my eyes at her and started to walk to my bedroom.

"I'm going to sleep a little more."

"You're going to sleep?" She seemed surprised. I normally never slept until late.

"Yes, it's Saturday and I fell like sleeping until really late today."

"Ok then…" I entered my room and jumped back into bed. I wrapped the sheets around me and laid my head on the pillow Edward had slept on, feeling his amazing smell surround me.

When I was starting to drift off I felt the bed move beneath me and opened my eyes to see Alice lying beside me.

"Alice…" I knew she was here to tell me something about last night.

"You know I really liked Jasper."

"I know sweetie. He seems nice." She turned to lie on her stomach and looked straight at me.

"He asked me out."

"He did?" She nodded and moved a little. Not even when lying down she could remain still. "What did you say?"

"I said I'd like too. We're going out tomorrow night."

"That's great." She showed me her biggest smile and turned around again.

"It is. What about you? Edward slept here…"

"It's not the first time he has slept here."

"I know. So?"

"I'm going to have dinner with him tonight." She lifted one eyebrow at me, waiting for me to go on. "I may not sleep at home." She squealed slightly.

"I'll pick the clothes for you to wear tonight then."

"Of course Alice. I wouldn't expect anything else…" She got up in a fluid motion and started to walk to the door.

"I'll let you sleep a little longer before I came wake you up." I smiled against the pillow at her enthusiasm and the fact that she had, indeed, liked Jasper.

I closed my eyes again, felling Edward's smell around me once again and sighed. I might not let it show but I was actually worried about tonight.

I wanted to be with Edward but I could help but to wonder how things would go, if we would actually be together tonight and if I would, very characteristically, find a way of embarrassing myself.

--

Alice spent the whole day picking up the perfect outfit for me to wear tonight until she finally decided on a dark blue dress that fit my body nicely. It wasn't too revealing but it was just enough to make you wonder, she had said.

She paired it with some high heel shoes that would probably make me fall, and she let me know this would be the perfect time to wear that blue silk underwear she had made me buy a few days ago.

I was finishing getting ready when she came into my room to check my work.

"You look beautiful. Edward is going to love it." She came to rearrange my hair while I looked at the mirror in front of me. Would he really?

"Do you think so?" I really liked the dress but still felt a little unsure. I wanted Edward to like it too; I wanted to look good tonight.

"I'm sure he will. If you're not careful you may not get to dinner at all. I'm sure he'll just want to get that dress off of you once he sees you."

"Alice!"

"It's true! Have you not seen the way he looks at you?" I turned around to better look at her.

"What do you mean?"

"He wants you Bella. When he looks at you there's a mixture of desire, adoration and need in his eyes. There's the same mixture in your eyes when you look at him."

"How can you tell? You haven't seen us together that many times Alice."

"I know and those times were all it took for me to see it. I'm great like that!" She winked at me and I sat in bed to put my shoes on. "Believe me Bella; he is in love with you." I smiled at her before taking a deep breath.

"I hope so because I'm certainly in love with him." She clapped her hands and sat next to me.

"I know!" She gave me my purse and as I put what I needed in it the door bell rang and Alice jumped from the bed.

"Come on, go open the door. There's an amazing man at the door waiting to take you to dinner." I took one last look at myself, grabbed my coat and purse and headed to the door as Alice reassured me I looked good.

When I opened the door I was struck by how good Edward looked. He was wearing dark pants, a white shirt and a black coat that fit him perfectly. He was… What's the adjective I normally used? Breathe-taking.

I just stood there looking at him while he smiled at me. He reached a hand to touch my face and walked towards me.

"Hi." I just smiled at him, still not able to talk. He cupped my face in his hands and leaned in to kiss me softly. When we pulled back he let his eyes trail up and down my body.

"You look even more beautiful than usual." I blush slightly.

"Thank you. You look pretty good too." That was an understatement. He showed me his crooked smile and leaned in to kiss me once again.

"Tell me, is that all for me?" He ran his hands along my arms while still looking at me.

"Definitely." His hands stopped at my waist and he wrapped his arms around me, pressing our bodies together before speaking near my ear.

"I'm glad." He then started to kiss my neck, nibbling it before running his tongue along the skin to soothe it. I ran my hands down his chest and stomach only stopping at his waist and making him groan slightly against my neck before speaking.

"If you keep doing that I can't promise we'll make it to dinner." I giggled and kissed his jaw.

"Would that be so bad?" His hands started to run up and down my sides, sending electric waves to every inch of my skin he touched.

"Not at all but I want to make this perfect." He captured my mouth in a desperate kiss then. His lips opened mine and his tongue thrusted inside my mouth repeatedly. I moaned against his mouth, feeling that familiar fog cloud my mind.

He suddenly and too soon pulled back, running a hand through his hair before kissing me again but quickly this time.

"Come on, let's go before I can't control myself any longer and take you right here." I blushed a little but couldn't help but to imagine how good it would be to have Edward making love to me right now. I wanted this man too much for my own good. I felt so attracted to him that I just wanted to be in his arms all day long.

Edward gestured for me to get my things and I did so. He took my hand in his when I closed the door and led me to his silver Volvo.

The drive to the restaurant was mostly quiet. I kept looking at Edward, still amazed by the fact that a man like him could be mine, and he would ever so often run his right hand up and down my leg, pulling my knee length dress a little higher in the process. Goose pumps appeared, as usual, wherever he touched me.

Once we arrived at the restaurant he led me in and the waitress took us to a reclusive table when Edward asked her so. I got the distinct impression that she wanted to be in my place. It's not like I could blame her.

I turned to look at Edward after we were seated and noticed he was looking attentively at me.

"What is it?"

"You truly look beautiful." I felt my face get warmer and he reached his hand to touch it while smiling at me.

"You look really cute when you blush like that." I leaned into his touch and thanked him.

At that moment the waitress came in with our drinks and took the opportunity to glare at me when she realized Edward was touching me. I waited for her to leave and decided to tease Edward a little.

"So I see you're making quite an impression here." He lifted an eyebrow at me, looking confused.

"What do you mean?"

"The waitress is all over you and looking at me like she could kill me, or at least, trying to find a way of getting me out of the picture."

"What?"

"You honestly didn't notice her looking at you?"

"No, not really. I was otherwise busy." It was my turn to be confused.

"With what?"

"You. You are mesmerizing." He took my hand in his and kissed it, making me realize I was no longer teasing him. I no longer cared about the waitress either.

We started to eat our dinner quietly while Edward caressed my hand with his. When we were almost finished I noticed Edward looking over my shoulder and smiling.

I felt curious and turned around to see a little girl of about 2 years old practically leaning completely over her chair to look at Edward. She had a huge smile on her face and was waving her chubby hand at him. Edward waved back and she let out a little giggle. She was just too cute.

"Well, well Mr. Cullen dazzling little girls. How very charming of you."

"I'm not dazzling her." I turned to look at her again and this time she waved at me. I smiled at her before her father made her sat down straight.

"You really were." He shook his head but an amused expression appeared on his face.

"No, I wasn't. Not on purpose anyway, maybe it's my natural charm." How could I deny that?

"Maybe. I'll have to be careful with you!" Judging by the waitress' reaction to him, I definitely would.

"I truly just want to dazzle, as you put it, one person." He reached for my hand and kissed it again. "And that's you." My breathe caught in my throat and I stood there looking at him while trying to form a coherent thought.

"Well you've already done it."

"Really?" His crooked smile made its appearance and once again there was no way I could deny it.

"Definitely." His hands ran up and down my arm while I lifted my foot to run it up his leg. His grip in my hand tightened and he looked straight at me.

"Are you done?" I nodded biting my lower lip and he called the waitress so he could pay.

When we were walking out of the restaurant he waved at the little girl again, who was looking at us while trying to feed her doll, before wrapping one arm around my waist and speaking.

"Do you want to go to my apartment?" I kissed his jaw as well as I could, feeling him pull me closer against his side.

"Yes, I do." He stopped near the car and pressed me against it while kissing my mouth. When we pulled back he wrapped my coat snuggly around me and opened the door for me to get in.

When he got in he turned to look straight at me and touched my face.

"I really do like you Bella." I smiled at him, seeing his eyes sparkle. My heart took off at a run and my hands began to shake slightly.

"I really like you too." He smiled back at me and kissed me softly before starting the car.

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So, yes, next chapter will be rated M...


	8. Chapter 7 Desire and an Epiphany

Ok so here it is the first M rated chapter of this story. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think!

Thank you to SWEETASH229!

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Desire and an Epiphany**

BPOV

The drive to Edward's apartment was quiet and it gave me the time to think. I felt slightly nervous but I was definitely not uncomfortable. I knew being with Edward could only be perfect, after all everything that included him was just that.

I bit my lower lip and held his hand as we walked from the garage to the elevator. He had been quiet for most of the drive to his apartment but once we were alone in the elevator he took the chance to attack my lips. I gladly complied with his attack opening my mouth to give him full access.

I let my hands travel up his chest to his hair and he moved his hands to my waist, pulling me towards him.

He only pulled back when the door of the elevator opened and he led me to the door of his apartment. He stood behind me while opening the door. He kept one of his hands on my waist, pressing me against him and his mouth was on my neck, kissing and nibbling it in that tempting way he had.

"You smell amazing…" I moved my head a little to the side in order to give him better access to my neck and whimpered when he pulled back to make me enter the apartment.

Once inside the apartment he turned the lights on and I took the chance to look around.

"Wow! Your apartment is amazing." I looked around the living room while taking off my coat and noticed how well organized it actually was. I slowly walked towards the piano, which was standing in the left corner of the room and, lightly, ran my hand along the keys.

Edward was looking attentively at me while I did so and I eventually turned around so I could meet his gaze.

"Did you do all of this?" He smiled slightly and shook his head.

"Not at all. My mother did it. She picked out all of the furniture and organized most of it. I really only insisted on the piano." I nodded and smiled while reaching my hand out to him. He took it in his and approached me, placing his hands on my waist and kissing my forehead. I placed my hands on his chest and stood on my tip toes in order to place a kiss in his jaw.

"You'll have to play for me sometime soon."

"Whenever you want." I could feel his lips on my neck again; leaving light kisses there and then along my jaw as I moved my head to the side in order to give him a better access to it. He immediately sucked on the skin on my neck and I could feel that insistent need for him growing inside of me. "Do you want me to play now?" He moved in order for his lips to brush the corner of my mouth while he spoke and the sensation sent a shiver down my spine.

"Maybe later…"

"Yes?" His breathe and smell was starting to cloud my mind and I could swear that if not for his hands on my waist, I would have fallen already. That seemed to happen a lot and it was definitely embarrassing.

"Yes. Maybe you can show me the rest of your apartment first." He smiled against my lips and brushed his against mine.

"What would you like to see first?" I'm sure he knew the answer to that as well as I did.

"Your bedroom." He chuckled lightly and kissed my lips before reaching for my hand and leading me to his bedroom.

Once there I took a quick look around, noticing there was a door that probably lead to his bathroom and that there was a king size bed in the center of the room. Edward noticed me looking at the bed and wrapped his arms around me from behind before speaking close to my ear.

"That might have been my idea too." I smiled and turned around to kiss him. It was a hungry kiss and I ran my tongue along his lower lip making him open his mouth. I thrust my tongue inside his mouth when he opened his lips and he did the same to me. I whimpered loudly against his mouth when our tongues started to dance together and lost myself in his taste… Our taste combined now.

When we pulled back his mouth went to my throat and neck, kissing and nibbling the skin there. I let my hands tangle in his hair again, pulling him closer.

That's when he stopped his kisses and pulled back to look straight at me.

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" His voice was deeper than usual, huskier and I could see something in his eyes I knew was visible in mine too: desire.

"Yes. I want you. I may go up in flames if you don't make love to me right now Edward." He chuckled lightly and kissed the tip of my nose.

"And we don't want that to happen." I could feel myself start to blush but that feeling was immediately cut by the feeling of him kissing me deep, almost desperately.

"Bella…" He groaned against my mouth when I pulled myself closer to him and his right hand came to lay low on the small of my back. "You don't know what you do to me." If I did anything like what he did to me I was, surely, driving him crazy.

I moved my hands to his chest and took off his coat before starting to unbutton his shirt with slightly shaking fingers. Once his shirt was opened I ran my hands up and down his bare chest, feeling his muscles clench and then relax at my touch. I pulled back a little to look at him and once again marveled at how well built he was but before I could go on with my shameless ogling he pulled me closer to him and started to kiss my shoulder while pulling the strap of my dress down.

He did the same to my other shoulder and my dress fall a little, showing more of my breasts.

His hands started to run up and down my sides, stopping to lightly touch the swells of my breasts and the feeling of his hands there made me bite my lower lip before he could capture it between his own.

When we pulled back I took the opportunity to take his shirt completely off with his help and wrapped my arms around him, feeling the perfectly defined muscles in his back.

His slightly cold hands came to slowly open the zipper in the back of my dress and he then pulled the straps of it all the way down my arms, making the dress fall to the ground.

He pulled back in order to look at me and I suddenly felt self-conscious standing in front of him wearing only my blue silk underwear and the shoes Alice had picked out for me. His eyes trailed up and down my body as he came closer to me again and placed his hands on my waist before speaking in my ear.

"You're beautiful Bella." All I could do was place my hands on his shoulders, trying to steady myself as his hands ran up my body to cup my face in them so I was looking up at him. "So amazingly beautiful…"

He kissed me slowly and softly this time and picked me up to sit me on the edge of the bed. He knelt down in front of me and proceeded to take my shoes off while kissing both my legs. Once my shoes were off he got up as I knelt on the bed and took the opportunity to reach for his belt, taking it off before opening the button on his pants. He tugged on my hair making me look at him and he kissed me once again.

"You're still wearing too many clothes Edward." He understood what I meant and let me open the zipper of his pants. I brushed his erection while doing so and felt him shiver at my touch.

I moved to kiss his chest and he helped me to pull his pants down, taking his shoes off on the process. When he was standing in front of me wearing only his boxers I pulled him in my direction so he was kneeling on bed with me.

He slowly laid me down while kissing me and I could feel some of his weight on top of me.

One of his legs was between mine and I could fell his knee brushing against my center when he moved, making me gasp and moan slightly.

EPOV

I stood on top of her, supporting most of my weight so I wouldn't crush her tiny and perfect body. I kissed her neck and throat while my hands ran up and down her body, feeling her soft warm skin.

I ran one of my hands along her stomach and slowly reached behind her back in order to open her bra but stopped to look at her before doing so. I wanted to make sure she wanted me to. She lifted her back a little, letting me know I could go on and I did so, taking her bra completely off.

I stopped to look at her beautiful frame beneath me. The movement of her chest made her breasts bounce ever so slightly up and down in an almost hypnotizing movement.

She placed one hand on my face and I leaned in to kiss her slightly swollen lips softly.

"You truly are so beautiful Bella." She smiled shyly and went on to kiss my jaw in that way only she knew how.

I ran a hand up her body, stopping at one of her soft and full breasts and cupped it. She moaned against my shoulder when I did so and I started to leave a trail of kisses down her throat to the valley between her breasts.

I kissed one nipple before taking her left breast in my mouth. She moaned again and grabbed my hair when I sucked a little harder on it, making me repeat my actions.

Her breasts tasted amazing and I got the sudden urge to go down her body so I could taste all of her. I was sure she would taste delicious everywhere, but not today. I wanted to find out what she liked first and to say the truth I didn't have that much experience in that field. I had only been with one other woman besides Bella and Bella was so much more special.

I turned my attention to her other breast and repeated my actions, gaining a few more moans from her. I could easily get used to that sound. It was fascinating.

She then urged me to lift my head and kiss her mouth once more. I was lost in our kiss when I felt her little hand move down my stomach to stop at the waistband of my boxers before moving underneath it to lightly stroke my erection.

"Oh Bella." I moaned against her neck, biting it a little harder than I had before but not hard enough to leave a mark.

When she pulled her hand back I started to kiss down her stomach to her waist and pulled her panties slowly down her legs.

Once they were off I began to kiss the inside of her thighs as I moved my hands up her legs, slowly sliding one finger inside of her and hearing her gasp. I kept moving my finger inside of her while she bucked her hips upwards. She was already so wet…

"Edward! I need you." It was all I needed to hear. I lifted myself once again and kissed her mouth before helping her take my boxers off. Her small hands ran up my chest, making me shiver slightly.

I then placed myself between her legs, feeling my erection brush against her wet center and making both of us moan. She pulled me closer at that moment, wrapping her arms and legs around me and letting me know she was ready for me.

I slowly slid inside of her, stopping in order for us to adjust to each other. She felt warm, wet and tight around me. She felt simply amazing.

After a few seconds she moved her hips against mine, letting me know I could go on and I started to move with her slowly at first but faster with every thrust then. She met every thrust of mine with one of her own and wrapped her legs more strongly around me. I kept kissing her and running my hands along her body as we moved together and after a while I could hear her moans getting louder and her breathing faster. I kept moving inside of her until I felt her muscles start to clench around me, sending me over a delicious edge with her.

"Oh Edward!" I was well aware of my groans and her name slipping from my lips as I trembled with her, riding the last wave of our mutual orgasm.

I then collapsed on top of her, kissing her face and hearing our fast breathing. We stayed in that position for a few minutes, not talking, just looking at each other until I pulled out of her and rolled to the side, bringing her with me so she was in my arms and her head was resting on my chest.

"Are you ok?" I asked while kissing the top of her head and feeling her smile against my chest.

"I'm more than ok. I feel amazing actually."

"Good. Me too." Looking at her I saw she was blushing slightly and smiled to myself. She was beautiful, warm and sweet and somehow, inexplicably even, she belonged to me.

I saw her close her eyes and felt her body relax against mine and couldn't help but to tease her.

"Shouldn't I be the one falling asleep immediately after sex?" She shrugged and buried her head in my chest, kissing it once.

"It's not my fault I can only get a decent night of sleep when you're around." I kissed the top of her head and pulled the covers over us, not wanting her to feel cold.

I stood there looking at her as she slowly fell asleep and was suddenly hit by an epiphany.

I told her earlier that I really liked her but I realized now that wasn't true. What I felt for her was so much more than that. She meant everything to me; she was the love of my life and belonged with me like this, in my arms. I realized I loved her…

I've known her for about a month and already felt that strongly about her. It was an overwhelming but at the same time comforting feeling.

I pulled her closer to me and buried my nose in her hair before whispering in her ear.

"I love you Bella." She sighed and cuddled closer to me, almost as if she had heard me. I had to find out the correct way to say it to her.

I smiled and kissed the top of her head again before willingly letting the sleep, that only truly overcame me when she was lying safely in my arms, take over me.

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	9. Chapter 8 Emmett

**Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this and leave a review. I really appreciate it.**

**There's a lemon towards the middle of this chapter so if you don't like it don't read it.**

**I'm really tired right now so I didn't edit this that much.I apologize for any mistakes.**

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**Chapter 8 – Emmett**

BPOV

I woke up early with Edward by my side. I was lying on my back with one of my hands over Edward's arm, which was thrown around my midsection. His head was on my pillow, cradled between my neck and shoulder.

I could feel his hair against my cheek and his breath on my shoulder. I sighed and smiled to myself, happy to wake up in Edward's warm and safe embrace. I could definitely and very easily get used to this.

I moved a little in order to look at Edward's sleeping form. Even sleeping he was breathtaking. His bare chest rose up and down in rhythm with his breathing and his hair was even more tousled than usual, sticking out in every direction. I couldn't help but to think it looked like sex hair and smiled again. The sunlight coming in the room from outside only made his bronze locks look even more reddish.

His beautiful face was calm and his lips were bent in a small smile, almost as if he was having a good dream. He was more than breathtaking, I realized, he was glorious.

As I stood quietly looking at him I realized that what I felt for him was more than just attraction. It was more than simple lust and it was more than anything I had ever felt for anyone else. I had told him I really liked him but that wasn't true. What I felt for him was more than that.

I loved him! I loved him with my whole being, with my whole heart. This knowledge should have scared me but, somehow, it didn't. I felt strongly and strangely comforted by it. It was almost as if my heart could jump out of my chest with so much happiness.

However, looking at Edward sleeping, I couldn't help but to think if he felt the same way for me, plain Bella. Or if he ever could…

He was just too perfect for someone like me. I knew that much…

I stood there looking at him for a while longer before carefully getting up. I didn't want wake him up since I knew he normally didn't sleep too much. I went to the bathroom where I quietly cleaned my face and brushed my teeth with a toothbrush Edward had bought for me.

The bathroom was huge and well lit with a large bathtub and a shower enclosure with a glass, sliding door. It was definitely ever girl's dream bathroom. I hold back a chuckle; his mother really knew what she was doing. Alice and Rosalie would love this.

Standing at the bathroom I realized I hadn't seen much of the apartment last night so I decided to look around, thinking Edward wouldn't mind.

The apartment was truly amazing. There was one more bedroom and bathroom, the large living room where a large collection of cds was located, a small but welcoming office with a shelf full of books and, of course, a kitchen.

I settled in the kitchen and decided to make breakfast for Edward and me. The things I needed were not hard to find.

I was so concentrated on the breakfast I didn't even hear anyone approach me until that someone cleared his throat behind me, making me jump. I, of course, tripped and felt myself fall forward into unknown arms. I tried to steady myself right after while the stranger laughed at me.

"Well I never had a girl jumping into my arms that quickly before. It's quite an ego booster, I must say." I looked at the man in front of me, taking in his appearance. He was big and muscled; his hair was slightly curly and black. His eyes too were dark. He stopped laughing and looked straight at me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you but you seemed to be very concentrated on the breakfast."

"Who are you?" He seemed like he could be dangerous, at least his body built suggested it, but somehow he seemed to be very laid back and friendly. I still felt slightly scared though.

"I'm Emmett. I'm Edward's brother." He showed me a huge grin and stretched his hand for me to take it. Relief washed over me.

"Oh, hi. I'm Bella. I'm Edward's…" He cut me off before I could say anything else.

"Girlfriend, I know. I figured it was you when I came in. It's not like Edward sleeps with random women and you fit the description I got from him." I just stood there looking at him while he went to pick a cup of the coffee I had just made.

"I heard a lot about you Bella. I was actually curious to see if it was all true. I can see the clumsy part is." So Edward talked about me with his brother. I wonder what he had said... "Cute outfit by the way." I immediately looked at myself, realizing I was only wearing Edward's shirt and my panties. I instantly felt myself blush.

"Oh, there it is. The blushing part is, apparently, true too." So Edward had told him all about my embarrassing traits that he, for some reason, found endearing and cute. Great! I would have to have a little talk with him later…

"Can I ask what you are doing here? I mean, I thought you were out of town."

"Sure. I was, I just arrived today. I came to check on my little brother. I didn't know you were here or I wouldn't have come. I don't want to interrupt sex or anything." I could see he really said everything he thought, like Edward had told me before, so why not humor him? He seemed nice enough. Inconvenient, maybe, but still nice.

"Well you're not interrupting sex right now. You probably will later, though." His eyes widened slightly before he started to laugh. He was definitely cheerful.

"Nice! I think I like you Bella. You're funny."

"Thanks I guess!" He smiled, taking a sip of his coffee and leaning against the counter.

"So what have you done to my brother for him to still be sleeping? He usually wakes up pretty early. Did you drive him to exhaustion with all the sex or something?" I blushed again but decided to answer back.

"Hardly. I don't think he gets exhausted that easily. In fact, I'm pretty sure he can go on all night long." He looked at me surprised but grinned.

"Who would have thought? Edward is actually good."

"Oh, he is more than good. He is mind blowing good actually." Emmett started to laugh loudly once more while I still stood still looking at him and shaking my head slightly.

"Emmett!" I turned around to see Edward entering the kitchen wearing only his boxers. He seemed slightly annoyed but I couldn't be exactly sure since I couldn't truly take my eyes away from his body. He was too tempting for his own good.

"Little brother! I did not know you had it in you but apparently you do!" Edward came to stand behind me and placed one arm around my waist.

"I see you have already met my brother. I apologize for anything he might have said." Emmett faked a hurt look.

"There's no need to. He's quite…"

"Charming?" Emmett said it before I could think about the appropriate word to use. I couldn't help but to laugh.

"Maybe." I kissed Edward's cheek before starting to walk. "I'm going to get dressed." As I left the kitchen I could hear Emmett saying to Edward I was cute. Something told me I could easily come to like Emmett a lot.

I went to Edward's room and put on my dress before going back to the kitchen where the boys were finishing breakfast. I sat with them and we talked for a while until Emmett had to leave.

I liked Emmett. He was relaxed and funny, almost like an overgrown child. He made me laugh a lot and blush even more with his unexpected comments.

"Well Bella it was really nice meeting you. I hope I'll see you again soon. I had way to much fun making you blush." I rolled my eyes at him and let him know I had enjoyed meeting him too.

Once Emmett was out the door Edward instantly wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest and nuzzling me neck.

"Your brother is nice." He laughed against my neck and kissed it twice before speaking.

"Yes, he is. I must confess I was hoping he would go away though."

"Why?" He leaned in and placed his lips next to my ear, making my whole body shiver.

"Because I've wanted to take off your dress since you put it on again." I pulled myself closer to him, feeling his body against mine.

"Really?" He nodded while sucking on my earlobe and making me bit my lower lip. He seemed to already know all of my sensitive spots. His hands were on my thighs now, pulling my dress slowly up.

"I want you naked in my arms and pressed against me like last night Bella. I want to feel every inch of your skin with my hands. I want to give you pleasure and I want you to scream my name because of it just like you did last night. It's an amazing sound." He moved a little making his hips brush against mine and I let out a soft mewl. I could feel the effect I was having on him trough the fabric of his boxers. "Oh Bella, I want to make you scream, moan and whimper so much…"

The way he was talking to me made my whole being shiver and melt. I could feel that throbbing need built in my stomach and knew only him could satisfy it. I ran my hands to his back; pushing him even closer to me and making him look at me.

"Do you want me to do that to you Bella?" His hands had travelled up and were gently squeezing my bottom.

There was only one possible answer to his question and I surprised myself by actually being able to speak.

"I do." I looked deep into his eyes and saw they had gotten visibly darker. I'm sure mine reflected the same need because he immediately picked me up and carried me to the bedroom.

Once there he put me down and took off my dress slowly, running his hands along every inch of my skin that was exposed to him before lying me down on bed. He crawled on top of me, letting me feel some of his weight and started to kiss my whole body leaving a trail of fire along my skin.

His hands ran up and down my sides, brushing my breasts and squeezing my bottom.

After claiming my lips in his, he started to leave a trail of kisses from my face to my neck and to the valley between my breasts. He kissed one of my breasts through the fabric of my bra before reaching behind me and taking it off.

Once my breasts were free he took them in his hands making them bounce a little before diving in and taking my left nipple in his mouth. He sucked hard on it before taking it between his teeth and biting with just the right amount of pressure to drive me wild.

I moaned loudly, urging him to go on and lifting my hips in his direction. His tongue started to make circles around my nipple while he sucked on that breast and kneaded the other. That feeling was so intense I got the distinct impression I could come undone just by it.

Suddenly, he released my breasts making me whimper and started to kiss down my body in a purposely slow manner. There was no doubt in my mind that he could drive me crazy with his teasing.

Once his lips found my panties he ran his hands up my thighs to them and pulled them down, taking them completely off while his teeth ran along my hipbone.

Once I was completely naked in front of him I pulled him up and kissed him before pushing him so he was lying on his back and I was straddling him.

I ran my hands up and down his chest, feeling the defined muscles there. His hands came to play with my breasts again, cupping and making them bounce.

"Your breasts are amazing Bella. Actually, all of you is amazing," I smiled down at him while blushing slightly. He had it backwards, he was the amazing one.

I leaned down to kiss his mouth before starting to kiss down his neck and chest where my hands had just been. When I reached the waistband of his boxers I did the same he had done to me and pulled it off completely.

I then sat up again positioning myself so that his erection was slightly brushing my entrance. I had to bit my lower lip in order to keep me from moaning when he moved beneath me, pressing his erection further against me.

I took my time looking at him this time. Last night I hadn't had the chance to properly look at him and had not realized how long and hard he was. I almost couldn't believe how well he fit inside of me.

He chuckled at my ogling and his hands came to my waist, making me snap out of it and making me move a little so I could take him completely inside of me in a fluid movement.

We both moaned when I did so and his grip on my waist became slightly stronger. After a second I started to move and with the help of his hands still on my waist set a steady rhythm that was enjoyable for both of us.

After a few thrusts I started to move faster on top of him, moaning and biting my lip, while he met my every thrust with one of his own. I placed my hands on his shoulders for support when I started to feel my release getting closer.

My breasts were bouncing up and down in front of him and he seemed mesmerized by their movement as his hands made their way up my body so he could massage them. When I moaned slightly, he moved his hands back down my body to my ass and squeezed it making me move even faster.

I soon felt myself explode around him and I couldn't help but to scream his name as a wave of pleasure took over me.

"Edward!" All of my senses were suddenly filled with him. All I could feel, smell, taste, see or even think about was him.

I kept thrusting on top of him, riding my wave of pleasure until I heard him groan and felt him release inside of me.

I collapsed on top of him soon after, grasping for air while he ran his hands up and down my back. His own breathing was fast when he turned his head to kiss my cheek and nuzzle my neck.

I rolled to the side but didn't move far because he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to his chest.

"Bella…" I moved a little in order to kiss his cheek and jaw before looking straight into his eyes. "You truly are the most amazing creature I have ever met." I smiled as he started to play with my hair and laid my head in his chest again. I placed one of my hands in his chest as well, feeling the muscles there as well as his still fast heart beat.

We stayed quiet like this for a long time. Me wrapped in his arms while he kissed the top of my head and ran his hands up and down my body, ever so often, until I turned to look at him sighing.

"I have to go. I promised Alice I would help her prepare for her job interview. I'm actually surprised she hasn't called yet." He lazily opened his green eyes to look at me.

"She knows you're here." He kissed the top of my head again, wrapping his arms more strongly around me. "I don't want you to go." He pulled me up along his body and kissed me deeply, sucking on my lower lip gently.

"I don't want to go either." If it was up to me I would never leave this bed, or let him leave it. His lips found the sensitive skin beneath my ear and he started to kiss it in a too persuasive way.

"Then don't. Stay here with me." His tongue started to move in circles around the skin he was kissing and nibbling.

"I have to but maybe you can come to my apartment later tonight. Alice is going out with Jasper and Rosalie will also be out until late." He made a sound against my neck I couldn't understand before pulling back to look at him. He sighed and kissed my jaw lightly before speaking.

"I will. Please try to help her as fast as you can though. I can't wait to have you like this in my arms again." I smiled, letting him know I would before getting up and dressed. If he was able to take off my clothes quickly, he wasn't so helpful or willing to let me get dressed. I took longer than I should have had to put on my dress.

He walked me to the door when I was done, kissing me and only letting me go after I promised him I would call as soon as I was done.

Truthfully I wanted to be back in his arms as fast as he did. I would help Alice prepare for the interview as fast as possible and, if needed, I could kick her out of the house. I knew she wouldn't mind. After all, she had her date with Jasper…

--

It turned out I didn't have to kick Alice out of the apartment. When I got here she already had everything set.

I helped her prepare a few answers for her interview but she quickly changed the subject to me.

I told her about Emmett but that wasn't exactly what she was interested in. I had to give her an accurate account of my activities, as she had called it, with Edward or she wouldn't have let it go.

After about two hours of interrogation she seemed satisfied with my answers and account of the night and went to her room to get dressed. She was more excited about going out with Jasper than she let know.

Once I was alone at the apartment I sat down on my bedroom and replayed last night and this morning in my head. Being with Edward had been even better than what I had imagined and I already had high expectations!

He made me feel, unusually comfortable with myself. The way he looked at me had made me feel beautiful and wanted.

Just thinking about it made me want to be in his arms as soon as possible. I wanted to burry my head in his neck while he ran his hands along my body, caressing it. I wanted to lie quietly beside him like this morning and feel the gentle beating of his heart under my hand.

Today had begun with me realizing I loved him but I still didn't know how to let him know it. Truthfully, I was slightly scared of saying it to him.

I knew he wouldn't react badly but what if he didn't feel the same way about me? I knew he liked me but could his feelings for me be as deep as mine for him? I hoped so but couldn't be sure. We've only known each other for about a month, after all…

I shook my head, deciding I didn't want to think about it right now. All I wanted was to enjoy Edward's company and I didn't need doubts clouding my mind when I was with him.

I got up and started to walk to the bathroom with the intent of taking a shower before calling Edward and asking him to come over.


	10. Chapter 9 Desire

**Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this and leave a review. I really appreciate it.**

**There's a lemon towards the middle of this chapter so if you don't like it don't read it. This chapter is more of a transition chapter than anything else...**

**I didn't have the time to edit this that much.I apologize for any mistakes**

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**Chapter 9 – Desire**

EPOV

I spent most of the day not being able to fully concentrate on anything. My mind kept going back to Bella and how amazing she was. I found her immensely fascinating, even more so than before and I thought that was impossible!

I kept thinking about how good it had been to make love with her and how beautiful she looked naked beneath me, with her hair spread on the pillow. How amazing it had felt to be inside of her and how I had loved to hear her moan and say my name.

I felt absolutely primitive but I found myself wanting to make her, mewl, moan and gasp again. I wanted to find out exactly what I need to do to gain that sounds from her again as well as what she liked. I wanted to be able to make her scream my name again. Yes, like I said, absolutely primitive…

Emmett hadn't said anything since this morning but I was sure he would make his appearance soon. He wouldn't, after all, lose an opportunity to have a good laugh on my account. He never did! At least he seemed to like Bella, which was good to know, and she thought he was nice. I wanted them to like each other.

After flipping through the TV channels several times I went to my computer and tried, unsuccessfully, to finish an article for work. I gave up trying soon after. I couldn't write about anything when Bella was so presently in my mind.

I got up and headed to the bathroom in order to take a shower. I stood under the shower for a long time, letting the warm water hit the muscles in my back.

When I stepped out I wrapped a towel around my waist and immediately looked at the clock. It was almost 7 pm, maybe Bella was already free.

I had not wanted to let her go this morning; in fact I never did want to let her go. I had wanted to keep her in bed and safely in my arms the whole day, but she had to go help Alice.

I got dressed and picked up my cell phone so I could call Bella. It rang three times before she picked it up.

"Hey."

"Hello love." I took a deep and slow breath. Damn it, I had let that slip. I had come to the realization I loved her but I didn't want to say it to her like that, over the phone. It seemed too impersonal. Gladly, she didn't seem to notice it.

"What have you been doing?"

"Not much to say the truth." I just spent the whole day thinking about you. "What about you? Are you done with Alice?"

"Yes. She just went out to meet Jasper. She was pretty excited I must say."

"That's good. So are you alone already?"

"I am, Rosalie already went out with some friends as well. I was just going to take a shower before I called you." I groaned slightly while imagining her taking a shower…

"What is it, Edward?"

"Don't do that to me Bella."

"Do what exactly?"

"Make me imagine you naked and in the shower. The water running down your body where my hands should be. It's not fair to do that when you're not here with me and I can't touch you." I could hear her take a deep breath. She went silent after that, making me think that maybe I had scared her. Maybe I shouldn't have told her that. I sounded just too desperate, which I more than probably was… Bella had that strong of an influence over me.

"I would very much like to have your hands running along my body again." I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding at her words. Even though she wasn't near, my hands already itched desperately to touch her.

"Really? Because that's all I could think about all day long."

"Yes." Her words were music to my ears. "Edward, how fast can you be here?"

"As fast as you want."

"Good. Can you pick up some food and come as fast as possible then?"

"Of course." There was nothing else I wanted more than to be there with her.

"I'll take that shower and wait for you then."

"I won't take long." Especially if I get to see you wet.

"I'm counting on that." I hanged up and almost ran out of the apartment.

I wanted to be with Bella too much to waste time with anything.

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When she opened the door for me I couldn't help but to groan to myself and take a deep breath. She looked absolutely beautiful and tempting in her tank-top and pajamas pants, with her still wet hair falling down her back and shoulders. I could smell strawberries all around her.

She reached out to touch my face and I immediately wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her against my chest so I could kiss her.

I almost let the bag with the food I was still holding fall in the ground when she licked my lower lip and granted me access to her mouth. I kept kissing her with all my will, not paying any attention to the fact I needed to breath, until she pulled away gasping for air.

I ran my hand along her cheek, letting her brush her slightly swollen lips against mine when she wanted to.

"I brought the food you asked for." She pulled back making me come in with her and looked at the bag that was still in my hand.

"Thank you! I'm really hungry and didn't feel like cooking today." I kissed her forehead and followed her to the kitchen where I helped her with the plates never taking my eyes off of her. The way she kept moving her hips was truly hypnotizing and as everything else that was amazing about her, she didn't even seem to notice it.

We ate dinner quietly, like we usually did, and she told me about her day with Alice. She was sure Alice would get the job as a fashion sales representative. After all, fashion was something Alice definitely knew about. I was certain she would get the job as well.

After we finished dinner we went to the living room in order to watch a movie I wasn't even pretending to pay attention to anymore. Bella was cuddled in my arms; her head was in my shoulder as she kept tracing the muscles in my chest and stomach with her little hand.

She was beautiful when she was like this. Peaceful and relaxed.

I was memorizing every trace in her face as well as every expression that crossed it when she turned to look at me.

"What are you doing?" She ran her fingers along my jaw and I moved slightly to kiss her cheek.

"Watching you."

"Shouldn't you be watching the movie instead?" I shrugged, kissing her face once again.

"You are much more beautiful and interesting than any movie." Her cheeks turned an endearing red and I once again leaned in to kiss both of them before claiming her lips in a soft kiss.

"I think you're a helpless romantic Edward Cullen and to say the truth I like it." She moved to kiss me again before I could say anything in my defense. I guess she was right, since I met her I had begun to see things in a slightly different light.

When she moved to sit in my lap I started to kiss her deeper, more hungrily. She moaned against my mouth, making me crush her body against mine. I had wanted to hear that sound all day long.

"I have been thinking about having you like this all day. In fact, I hardly could think about anything else." She smiled shyly and kissed my neck, keeping her head buried there.

"I also spent the whole day thinking about you." Immense happiness suddenly overtook me.

"What have you been thinking about exactly?"

"I have been replaying last night and this morning in my head." She lifted her head to look at me and bit her lower lip. "I want you to touch me like that again, make love with me." I couldn't help but to attack her mouth. I took her lower lip in between mine and sucked on it.

That insane desire was taking over me again. I really needed to come up with a way of controlling it. I pulled back and spoke near her ear, feeling her shiver slightly.

"I have unleashed a monster haven't I?" I surely had and it was my own monster that craved for her more than anything else. She giggled and kissed the corner of my mouth.

"Do you want to go to my room?" I definitely did. It was taking all my strength not to jump her right here. I took a deep breath while leaning back to look at her.

"You are going to be the end of me, aren't you? I can already tell you will."

"Not at all. I want you well alive and healthy. I might drive you to exhaustion like Emmett suggested tough." I raised an eyebrow at her.

"He did that?"

"Kind of. He asked me if I had exhausted you with all our activities since you where still sleeping when he got to your house."

"What did you say?" I definitely had to have a little talk with Emmett later. The blush I loved rose to her cheeks again.

"Don't let it boost your ego too much, ok?" I raised an eyebrow again, wondering what she had told him. "I told him that I was pretty sure you could go on all night long..." That made me snap. I wrapped her legs around my waist and lifted her up so I could take her to her room.

I fully intended to show her she was right. With her I could, without a doubt, go for as long as she wanted me to.

--

After I took Bella to her room we made love twice and were now lying together in bed.

She was lying on her stomach and was, absentmindedly, tracing patterns in one of my arms while I lay half on my side. My free hand was lightly running up and down her spine. I would, ever so often, lean in and substitute my hand with my lips, feeling her shiver beneath me every time I did so.

It was good to know I had that kind of influence over her, to say the truth.

I moved to brush my lips along her cheek and she closed her eyes, looking like she could fall asleep.

"I thought you were getting ready to stay awake all night long." She smiled and buried her head in the pillow, knowing perfectly well I was teasing her.

I let my eyes trail up and down her body then. She looked so beautiful like this, naked and with her pale skin glowing due to the light that was coming in the room from outside.

I had to let her know how beautiful she was. I brushed a strand of her hair away from her face and spoke near her ear.

"You're so beautiful. Did you know that?" She shrugged slightly but said nothing. "You are. You are beautiful my Bella." She opened her eyes to look at me and I made us move so she was lying on top of me with her legs wrapped around mine.

"You make me feel that way." I smiled at her and kissed her eyes, letting her lay her head in my shoulder. That was how I always wanted her to feel.

I started to run my hands up and down her body once more, reaching one hand down further so I could gently squeeze her ass. She giggled against my neck when I did so, making me stop.

"What it is?"

"Nothing really, it's just that you always seem to do that when we are like this." She giggled again and bit my neck gently making me groan in the process.

"Do what exactly?"

"Squeeze my ass."

"Oh." I hadn't fully realized I did that before.

"It's ok. I like it." I placed one finger beneath her chin so I could make her look at me.

"You do?" She bit her lip and nodded.

"Yes, I do."

"Good because I really enjoy doing it." I looked down at her perfect and round bottom and squeezed it again. "Yes, I really do like your bottom." Using the hand that was still on her bottom I slid her up my body so I could kiss her better and heard her moan at the contact.

Before I could claim her mouth in a kiss she was already kissing me, her tongue massaging mine.

"I thought you were getting ready to sleep. You looked tired."

"I am not anymore." She spread her legs and sat up, straddling me. Her hands immediately started to run up and down my chest making my breathing become faster.

From this position I had an amazing view of her body but I wanted to feel her pressed against me so I too sat up, holding her in my lap with her legs still straddling me.

She kissed my mouth and I moved my hands to her waist, pulling her closer to me.

With a little movement from her she allowed me to slide inside of her.

"Oh Edward!" She started to move slowly on top of me and I immediately grabbed her ass making her move up and down faster.

In this position I could thrust completely inside of her, fell her all around me and hear those amazing sounds from her I had been waiting to hear all day.

She started to move faster and faster with my help and I soon found myself lost in the amazing feeling of her all around me. Her soft skin was all I could feel, her moans was all I could hear, her delicious smell was all that surrounded me and her face, expressing what I could tell was pleasure, was all I could clearly see. All my senses were attuned to her and only her.

I buried my head in her neck and bit it gently, tasting the skin there.

When her thrusts became more erratical and her breathing faster and shallower I began to squeeze her ass gently and repeatedly and pulled her upper body a little back so I could take one nipple in my mouth. I licked and sucked on it feeling her walls clench around me and her hands move to my hair, pulling slightly on it.

"Yes, Edward!" She kept bouncing on top of me and after a few more thrusts her clenching walls, squeezed me once more making me feel like I was free falling. I let her name slip from my lips at the same moment she screamed mine and bit her neck gently once again.

I collapsed into bed with Bella on top of me and wrapped my arms around her as she laid her head in my chest.

Her smell lingered in the air around me and her weight on top of me made me realize I was the luckiest man in the world. It was a cliché but it was also the truth.

After a few minutes she moved to kiss my chest and lay her head in my shoulder. She let her hand stand still in my chest and I moved mine to cover hers. Sleep was clearly starting to take over her.

"I could get used to this." She whispered while burying her face beneath my chin.

"I truly hope so." I kissed the top of her head and pulled the covers over us so she wouldn't get cold. "Sleep my Bella, my love." She made a little noise and was soon asleep not seeming to notice my words.

I stayed awake looking at her peaceful sleeping form but soon felt sleep take over me as well as I thought that with her I could definitely do this forever.

--

Alice decided to organize a little party at their apartment for us all to spend some quality time together. I was in charge of making sure Jasper would be there and of taking Emmett with me since Bella had, apparently, found him hilarious.

It was not hard to convince them to come. Jasper was more than willing to spend more time with Alice and Emmett was always ready for a little party. He was a people person.

As Bella opened the door of her apartment to us Emmett jumped in front of me and hugged her before I could even say anything.

"Bella! It's so nice to see you again. And look you're fully dressed this time!" Her eyes widened slightly and she began to blush heavily... I smacked Emmett's arm and made him move out of the way. Embarrassing my girlfriend was not why he was here.

"Behave Emmett."

"I'm just kidding Edward. Bella knows I like her." Bella smiled at Emmett and reached for my hand while I rolled my eyes.

"I'm glad you could come Emmett."

"Thanks for inviting me."

"Hello Bella."

"Hi Jasper. Alice and Rosalie are in the kitchen." The guys nodded and walked into the apartment. After Bella pointed the way to the kitchen to them, they went in to greet the girls.

When they were out of sight I took the opportunity to pull Bella towards me and wrapped my arms around her.

"Hey." She smiled at me and stretched a little so she could kiss me. I met her half way and took her lips in between mine.

She moved her little hands to my hair when I deepened our kiss and I pushed her even closer to me. Her hair was still slightly wet and she smelled as good as she tasted. She was intoxicating and I could never seem get enough of her.

We only stopped kissing when everyone came into the living room and Alice cleared her throat before speaking.

"We knew you guys would be here making out!" I unwillingly let go of Bella as she scowled at Alice.

Emmett flashed me a grin and went to sit down on the couch, perfectly at ease already. Those two together would not make life easier for Bella and me…

After about an hour Alice decided it was time for us to have dinner and so we did. Once we were finished we went to sit on the couch so we could talk properly.

Besides Alice and Jasper's clear chemistry it seemed like Emmett and Rosalie were very at ease with each other. At least they seemed to have a few things in common. They both had an underlying and undeniable love for cars, for instance.

I could tell Emmett though Rosalie was absolutely fantastic due to the fact that her knowledge about cars could, in fact, rival with his. A very interesting relationship was starting to form there.

I knew Bella was thinking the same as I was when she leaned further into me and spoke near my ear.

"What is there about your friends and brother that has my girlfriends falling for them?"

"I think you have it backwards. It seems like your friends are the ones making the guys fall for them." If it was anything like it had been for me and if Bella's friends were half as amazing as she was, Emmett and Jasper had no choice but to fall in love with them.

"Either way this could be very interesting." Bella giggled and leaned in to kiss my neck. I let her do it while enjoying the feeling but soon made her move so I could kiss her lips properly.

I was completely concentrated on Bella and the feeling of her lips moving with mine when Emmett's booming voice brought me back to reality.

"Get a room you two!" Bella hide her face in my neck while laughing and I scowled at Emmett.

"You need to stop doing that, Emmett"

"Then you two have to stop showing us things we don't want to see, little brother." I shook my head in disbelief and kissed the top of Bella's head with the intention of ignoring Emmett and his comments about my relationship with Bella.

I knew I couldn't fully keep myself from constantly touching or kissing Bella when she was near me but it couldn't possibly be that bad. Emmett just enjoyed making fun of me too much.

The rest of the night went by uneventful. We stood until late talking and then watching a movie Alice had picked up.

Emmett was too concentrated on Rosalie to pay attention to Bella and I so I took the chance to watch her during the movie. Alice and Jasper didn't seem to pay too much attention to the movie, either. Something told me it wouldn't take long for me to find out they were dating…

After the movie ended and the guys left Bella asked me to stay the night, which I gladly did. I jumped into bed with her and let her cuddled in my arms as she pleased.

"I'm tired." I smiled at her as she yawed involuntarily and kissed the top of her head.

"Sleep sweetheart." I started to run a hand up and down her back that seemed to quickly make her fall asleep. I guessed she really was tired, she usually took a little longer to fall asleep.

Soon after and with her safely cuddled in my arms I too allowed myself to get a quiet and satisfying night of sleep.


	11. Chapter 10 Declarations

Thank you to everyone who took the time to review this!

My beta is on holiday so this chapter wasn't checked. I apologize for any mistakes!

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**Chapter 10 - ****Declarations**

BPOV

While climbing the stairs to Edward's apartment I could already hear the sound of a piano and knew for sure it was him playing. The soft melody filled the hall to his apartment and I couldn't help but to smile. He truly was an amazing pianist.

I knocked on the door once and opened it with the key he had given me a few weeks ago. He stopped for a second but started playing again when he saw it was me.

I dropped my things on the couch and walked towards him. He smiled at me from his spot and when I reached him, he stopped playing once again so he could kiss me properly. His hands went to my hips and I immediately moved mine to his hair.

"Keep playing, please." I leaned in to softly kiss his lips again and went to sit on the couch so I could listen and see him properly.

He winked at me before turning his attention back to the piano. His fingers ran lightly along the keys, bringing to live the songs I liked the best. He was an amazing pianist. I knew it was probably my inner fan girl manifesting herself but everything seemed to sound even better when played by him.

He would slightly move his body from side to side while playing and close his eyes. He truly was at his natural environment at these moments and looked absolutely beautiful…

I closed my eyes and concentrated on the music playing around me. Edward and I have been together for about three months now and he found a way of making each single day amazing.

We have been spending most of our evenings here at his apartment. I would always come over after work and we would often cuddle in the couch, laughing at silly TV shows or bad movies. He would also help me make dinner every night and would prepare breakfast for me in the morning when I stayed over.

I felt like I could tell him anything. He didn't judge me, was always listening attentively and seemed to think my ramblings were fascinating. He would just as easily tell me what was on his mind, letting me know exactly what his thoughts on several subjects were.

I would stay with him most nights, as well. I had gained the habit of sleeping with him beside me and couldn't seem to have a decent night of sleep when he wasn't close to me. I missed the weight of his arm around me, making me feel warm and safe.

The truth is that I enjoyed making love with him and lying in his arms after it too much to stay too many nights away from him. I loved how he would let me cuddle in his arms as I pleased and would play with the strands of my hair until I fell asleep.

How a man like him was with me, I still couldn't figure out. There was nothing special about me but yet, he was still here. He was still mine. Did he feel for me half of what I felt for him? It seemed more than unlikely…

I had no doubts he liked me but what I felt for him was so strong he couldn't possibly feel the same way for me.

With a sigh I opened my eyes to look at the amazing man, who was playing for me.

EPOV

I ran my hands along the keys of the piano; playing the songs I knew Bella liked the best. She was scanning my cd collection now, while very slowly and absentmindedly swaying her hips in rhythm with the song I was playing.

I smiled to myself while watching her every move. She was more gracious than anyone, including herself, gave her credit for. I was truly lucky to have found someone like Bella, who enjoyed the same kind of music I did. Someone who didn't mind listening to me play the piano. Someone who was just so beautiful. Someone who could easily make me love her with my whole being.

How could I have left two months pass since I found out, without telling her I loved her?

As the song I was playing came to an end she turned to look at me and smiled.

"You play beautifully." I got up and ran a hand along her back while she placed the cd she was holding in the shelf next to my piano.

"Thank you my love." She immediately stopped what she was doing to look at me.

"What was that?" She might have not realized it the other two times but now she had definitely heard me call her love. I felt surprisingly calm. "What did you just call me exactly?"

I placed one hand on her chin, making her look straight at me and ran my fingertips along her jaw to her cheek.

"My love." She took a deep breath and a somewhat confused expression appeared on her face.

"Why?" Why? Because that was what she was to me. Wasn't she able to see it?

"I thought it was quite clear." She still looked confused, maybe even more so than before.

"What? What is suppose to be clear, Edward?" I moved closer to her and placed one hand on her waist, never breaking eye contact. This was the moment I had been waiting for; this was my chance to finally say it to her. Maybe it wasn't how I imagined it would be exactly. To say the truth I had something much more romantic planned, but somehow this moment seemed like the perfect time.

"I love you." I cupped her face in my hands and kissed the corner of her mouth before pulling back to look into her eyes again. "I love you Bella. I thought everyone could see it, knew it…" Although she was still looking at me her eyes were unfocused and she was whispering to herself while lost in her thoughts.

"Maybe they could…" She took a deep breath and refocused on me. "You love me? You truly do love me?" Why was she questioning it? Wasn't it evident I did? Couldn't she believe it? Hadn't I been able to express my feelings correctly?

"I do." She shook her head and tried to look down but my hands still on her face didn't allow her to do so.

"It seems highly unlikely…"

"Why?" Don't you…" It was my turn to take a deep breath. "Don't you feel the same?" I didn't know what I would do if she told me she didn't. She shook her head and placed her hands on my chest.

"It's not that. It seems impossible because you're perfect and I'm far from that. Because I don't know why or how you can be mine, how you can find me interesting at all…" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew she was sometimes unsure about herself but how could she think she was anything else but astonishing or awe –inspiring?

"I'm not perfect Bella, I'm far from it. You regard me in the way because I try to be like that for you. You make me be so much better." She shook her head but didn't try to look away from me this time. "And you? You are beautiful, my love, you are amazing and lovely and endearing, especially when you blush." I kissed both of her cheeks lightly. "I love the way you walk, the way you talk, how you bite your lower lip, how you sit still for hours reading a book, how you always hum a song when you're cooking and even how you always manage to trip on your own feet. I love everything about you. You don't realize how breathtaking or astonishing you are. You do so many things daily that make me fall even deeper in love with you! Things that I find fascinating and you don't even notice." She closed her eyes and leaned into me while taking a deep breath. I wanted her to see herself the same way I did. I wanted her to see herself clearly, see how she was an amazing creature.

I let her bury her head in my chest and held her closer to me. Soon after I felt her move in order to kiss my jaw before pulling back to look at me.

"I love you Edward." My heart seemed to stop before picking up pace again. A part of me knew Bella felt the same way I did but the other part wasn't so sure. That other part was afraid she couldn't love me with the same intensity I loved her.

My love for her was so immense, strong and deep I wasn't sure it was possible for anyone else to feel like I did.

That was one of the reasons her insecurities towards herself affected me so much, stabbed me deep in my chest even. All I wanted was for her to feel loved, feel treasured and understand l how important she was. I wanted her to know how much I missed her when she wasn't near.

I moved one of my hands to her hair and made her tilt her head to the side so I could kiss her slowly and she kissed me back just as gently. Her lips were soft on mine and one of her little hands moved to my hair, pulling me closer to her.

"I was beginning to think I was doing this the wrong way." I buried my face in her hair, feeling the smell of strawberries from her shampoo.

"I don't think you would ever be able to do it wrong..." She softly kissed my neck and placed her head on my chest again. "I'm sorry I didn't answer right away I just wasn't expecting it and couldn't see how you can think I'm worth…." I placed one finger on her lips, making her stop talking and pulled back so I could look at her.

"Sshh, don't say that Bella. How can I prove to you that I love you? How can I show you how beautiful you are?"

"I believe you. I believe you love me too Edward." I kissed the tip of her nose, content to know she believed in my love. Now I just had to find a way of making her see how truly beautiful she was.

"But you don't believe me when I say that you're beautiful."

"I believe that, for some reason unknown to me, that is how you see me, but I know I'm not." I shook my head and moved to kiss her face several times before speaking near her ear.

"I'll show you. I'll find a way of showing you how beautiful you are soon enough." She bit her lip and nodded unsure before running her fingers along my face and smiling slightly.

"Ok." I took her hand that was on my face in mine and kissed it.

I picked her up and took her to my bedroom where I gently laid her down on bed. I slowly took her clothes off and placed kisses all over her body with the intent of showing her just how beautiful she truly was.

--

Being a Saturday I woke up late when the sunlight started to come in the bedroom.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked at Bella's sleeping form in my arms. Her head was resting on my chest and her hand was covering my heart. Her long brown hair was spread on her pillow and she had a peaceful look on her face.

How could she not see how amazing and beautiful she was? I wrapped my arms more strongly around her for a second and buried my nose in her hair. I felt amazingly comforted and happy knowing I had finally said I loved her and that she felt the same way for me.

I stood quiet for a few more minutes until I kissed the top of her head and slowly got up in order not to wake her up.

I went to the kitchen and started to prepare our breakfast. Cooking has never been my specialty but she seemed to like my pancakes so I gladly made them for her.

I was placing the pancakes on the plate when she came into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around me, kissing my neck.

I turned around so I could wrap my arms around her waist and lifted her up so she was sitting in the counter.

"Good morning, love." I kissed her lips softly before turning my attention to her neck.

"Good morning." She wounded her fingers in my hair and sighed when I lightly bit her neck. "Hey, you made pancakes!" I chuckled against her neck and moved to kiss her lips quickly.

"Yes, I did." I placed my hands on her waist again and helped her off the counter. "Come on; let's eat before it gets cold."

She sat down and started to eat quietly. I moved my hand across the table and took hers in it, wounding our finger together.

When we finished eating I took the plates to the sink while Bella remained sited. It seemed like the right time to ask her something I've been meaning to.

"Bella?" I tuned to look at her and smiled slightly.

"Yes?"

"My mother is throwing a little party this weekend for my father's birthday and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me…"

"You want me to meet your parents?" She seemed a little unsure. Almost as if she didn't know if it would bet the right thing to do. I knew she was just worried they wouldn't like her.

"Yes. My mother asked me to invite you. She is dying to meet you." I walked towards her and kneeled down so I could kiss the corner of her mouth. "I think she is beginning to believe Emmett when he tells her you're imaginary." She giggled slightly and leaned in so she could kiss my neck.

My mother had been dying to meet Bella since I first mentioned her. She was more than happy for the fact I had finally found someone I loved and wanted to find out if Bella truly was everything I told her she was.

I was sure she would like Bella. In fact, I knew she already did. She liked Bella for the simple fact that she made me happy.

"Would you like to meet them?" Bella bit her lower lip and slowly nodded.

"Yes. I want to meet them." I leaned in to kiss her lips and ran a hand along her hair. "Do you think they'll like me?"

"I'm sure they will. How could they not?" I smiled and took her hand in mine so we could walk to the living room.

Apparently I really was right when I thought she was worried about my parents not liking her. It was an almost absurd worry. How could they not like her?

I wanted her to meet my parents. It was important for me that they liked each other. I wanted the most important people in my life to be together.

When we got to the living room where Bella put on a DVD and came to sit beside me in the couch. I let her cuddle in my arms as she pleased and wrapped them strongly around her.

Once again I paid no attention to the movie playing in front of me. Bella was a million times more captivating than any movie could be.

BPOV

After spending the day in Edward's apartment with him I went home to find Alice sitting in the living room couch, flipping through a magazine.

"Hey Bella."

"Hey." I took off my coat and threw my keys to the table.

"What's up?" I went to sit next to her and smiled, anticipating her reaction to what I was going to tell her.

"Edward told me he loved me." Alice did not disappoint me. She threw her magazine away, jumped up and down on the couch and clapped her hands.

"That's amazing and about time too! I mean you can see he loves you just by looking at him!" I smiled again as she went on. "What did you tell him Bella? Please tell me you didn't freak out!"

"Wait Alice! I didn't freak out." I stopped for a second and bit my lower lip. "Well I might have freaked out a little but I did tell him I loved him back. It's the truth after all." Alice sighed overdramatically and rolled her eyes at me.

"I'm glad! Now, tell me why exactly did you freak out?"

"I don't know Alice. Some part of me knew he did love me but then there's that other part…"

"The silly one?" I just shrugged.

"Maybe. The point is that part has a hard time believing it's true."

"Why?"

"Haven't you noticed Edward at all? Have you realized how amazing he is?"

"Yes I have. I don't see what your point is, Bella."

"Maybe I'm just crazy but sometimes I think I'm just not good enough for him…" Alice immediately got up and pointed a finger at me.

"Listen to me Isabella Swan, you are an amazing woman. You're intelligent, you're funny and you're beautiful. Now, if you can't see that you really are crazy!" I opened my mouth to speak but she didn't allow me to do so. "I'm not finished yet! You may not see yourself clearly but Edward definitely does and he knows just how especial you are. You are more than perfect for him. You too are evenly and perfectly balanced. You complete each other and so you belong together." I stood still looking at Alice, completely shocked, until she sat down again and sighed.

"Wow Alice that was quite a speech."

"I know right?" I laughed while shaking my head. "It's the truth Bella."

"Thank you Alice. I was just being silly."

"Any time. I always enjoy opening your eyes" She hugged me tightly and smiled widely.

She was probably right. I was just being overly insecure. I knew Edward liked me; he had only made things to prove that since we met. He was perfect and he loved me.

Edward loved me! I smiled at myself while fully accepting that fact for the first time. He actually loved me as much as I loved him!

It was a deeply comforting feeling. I always thought I would be scared of love, scared of feeling so connect with someone but I didn't. Stupid insecurities aside I had never been so happy.

Edward made me feel safe, comfortable and loved. All I had to do was trust him and allow myself to be happy.

I couldn't ask for a better someone to trust and fall deeply in love with…

I turned my attention back to Alice, who was still looking at me. A look of curiosity was visible on her face.

"There's something else."

"I knew it! What is it?"

"Edward wants me to meet his parents. His mother is throwing a party next weekend for his father's birthday and he wants me to go with him."

"I have to admit, Edward knows how to do it big! A declaration and an invitation all in the same day!"

"Tell me about it!"

"You are going right? Are you excited?"

"I am." She eyed me suspiciously.

"What's the problem now Bella?"

"I really want to meet his parents but what if they don't like me?"

"Do I have to give you another speech? Because I totally have another one prepared!"

"No, there's no need to Alice. I really am excited about it. His parents seem really nice. I'm just a little nervous."

"That's normal. If Jasper asked me to meet his parents I would probably be nervous to." I smiled at her and readjusted my position on the couch.

"So that means things between you and Jasper are going nicely?"

"Yes, they are! So far so good!"

"I'm happy for you Alice."

"Thank you. I'm happy for you too, Bella. It was about time you found someone who loves you and that you love back." Alice moved to hug me once again and went to her room.

I was excited about meeting Edward's parents. The way he talked about them made me curious. They seemed to be amazing and I wanted them to like me.

I hoped I didn't do anything that might embarrass me. At least Edward and Emmett would be there. Their presence would, at least, help me relax. After all, Edward was always able to make me feel comfortable and at ease.

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So the Twilight movie premiered here this week and I finally got to see it. I actually liked it! It was better than I thought it would be...


	12. Chapter 11 Trip

This chapter is a little one but I couldn't seem to write the meeting with Esme and Carlisle right now..

I hope you like it anyway.

Warning: there's a lemon in the beginning!

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Chapter 11 - Trip

BPOV

I woke up with several light kisses being placed all over my face and neck and with Edward's voice near my ear.

"Bella, love, wake up." I simply whimpered and buried my head in his chest. I was definitely not ready to wake up and get up yet.

He chuckled slightly and kissed the top of my head before speaking again.

"Come on, love. We still have a long journey ahead of us today." I lazily opened my eyes to look at him and smiled slightly. Today was Edward's father's birthday and so I was going to meet his parents for the first time.

I was undeniably worried about it but at the same time I was extremely excited. I had only heard good things about his parents and although I was afraid they wouldn't like me I really wanted to meet them. I wanted to meet the people who raised Edward to be such a good person and Emmett such a loveable character.

As Edward ran his hand up and down my back, I realized I really didn't want to get up yet, though. I want to enjoy his company for a little longer. I wanted to keep him in bed, preferably without his clothes on…

I blamed him for making me want that. He had to be the only person who looked this good in the morning.

"Can't we stay in bed for a little longer?" I moved so I was lying on top of him and ran my hands along his chest while lazily kissing his jaw.

"Didn't you sleep well? Are you still tired?"

"I did sleep well." I turned my attention to his neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses on the skin there. I heard him groan slightly and smiled to myself. "And I'm not tired. I'm wide awake now, in fact."

"So why do you want to stay in bed exactly?" I knew he knew perfectly well why I wanted to stay in bed but he enjoyed teasing me way too much not to ask.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe I should show you." I sat up so I was straddling him and pull his shirt I was wearing off. At the sight of my bare breasts he immediately moved his hands to my waist as to keep me in place.

"You are a little vixen, Ms Swan."

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!" In a fast movement he made us move so I was lying on my back and he was lying on top of me, between my legs. "And I love it."

He started to leave a trail of kisses down my neck to the valley between my breasts while I moved my hands to his hair. When he took one nipple in his mouth and sucked on it, I immediately wrapped my legs around him.

"Have I told you you're breasts are simply amazing, Bella? I could suck on them the whole day." I simply moaned and pulled on his hair. He repeated his actions once again before pulling slightly back to look at me. I knew by the smirk on his face that he wanted something from me. "You like it when I suck on them?"

I wish I could deny it but he knew perfectly well I did.

"Yes, I like it." His smirk grew even bigger before he turned his attention back to my breasts.

He divided his attention between my two breasts. While his hand kneaded one, his mouth sucked and nibbled on the other. He could so easily reduce me to whimpers and moans…

"And when I nibble and bite? Do you like that?" He took my nipple between his teeth once again, applying just the right pressure to drive me crazy. I lifted my back in his direction and pulled on his hair in an attempt to keep him as close as possible to me. "Do you?" He repeated his attention, successfully making me scream.

"Yes!"

"I know you do." He lightly kissed both of my breasts before pulling back. I almost whimpered at the loss but his lips immediately moved to my stomach and one of his hands to my hips.

He allowed his tongue to drag from one of my hipbones to the other and I could feel my need for him pooling in my stomach and between my legs. When I buckled my hips in his direction he chuckled slightly and moved his hands to my panties so he could take it off.

Once they were off he got up to take his boxers off and then lay down again. He started to leave light kisses on the inside of my thighs and I knew exactly what he was going to do. Closing my eyes, I briefly thought about the first time he did this to me. I wasn't expecting it but it felt so good…

He gently moved his fingers to my entrance and opened it before allowing his tongue to thrust inside of me. I immediately screamed at the amazing sensation and moved my hand to his hair so I could keep him in place.

He moved his tongue inside of me several times before moving to take my clit in his mouth. As he started to suck and nibble slightly on it, I gripped his hair harder and moaned loudly.

"Edward!" He hummed from between my legs only making me writhe beneath him. This was so much! So much but it still wasn't enough…

He suddenly pulled back, leaving me gasping, and crawled on top of me. I let out a frustrated sigh and he moved to take my earlobe in his mouth before speaking.

"You taste delicious, love." When I simply whimpered he moved his hands to my legs, making me wrap them around him and I gladly did so. I could feel his hard erection pressed against my inner thigh and smiled to myself. At least I had as strong an influence on him as he had on me.

"I want you so much." In that moment he buried his head on my neck and moved one of his hands to my ass so he could pull me towards him. With one smooth movement he was inside of me and we were both moaning at the sensation.

He was still for a moment before biting my neck and thrusting into me as I wrapped my arms around his back.

He pulled out of me suddenly only to enter me again with a long and hard thrust. He kept pounding hard and fast on top of me as I met every thrust of his and it wasn't long until I was screaming his name loudly.

When he buried his fingers in my thigh to pull me even closer to him and bit on my neck again I couldn't hold on any longer.

"Edward, I'm going to…"

"Do it!" He moved his hand from my thigh to between us and started to rub my clit, never stopping his deep and hard thrusts. That action was my undoing and I once again screamed his name while slightly scratching his back.

My clenching muscles closed tightly around him, making him spill inside of me while saying my name.

He collapsed on top of me then, as I wrapped my arms tightly around him and kissed his neck.

When we were both slightly recovered he moved to take my lips in between his and then rolled off of me, bringing me to lie on his arms.

He kissed the top of my head several times before finally speaking.

"Well, I think this is definitely worth getting late to my father's birthday…" I giggled slightly before kissing his chest.

I was quiet for a little longer before moving to look up at him.

"I guess we have to go now, right? I don't want to be too late for your father's birthday." He kissed my forehead before making me sit down on bed with him.

"Yes, we should definitely get going." I nodded and got up, bringing him with me.

We took a quick shower and got dressed before heading to the car so we could go to his parents' house.

--

The trip to his parents' house was quite a long one since they lived out of the city and I feel asleep half through it. I wasn't tired but the quiet purr of the car alongside the music coming from the CD made me fall asleep. When I woke up we were driving trough an unknown street, surrounded by tall trees. The landscape was quite beautiful and captivating and I knew immediately we were far from the city.

Edward turned to look at me with a smile on his face when I stretched as best as I could inside the car.

"Welcome back, sleeping beauty." I smiled at him before reaching to lightly touch his face.

"For how long have I slept?"

"For about 30 minutes."

"Oh. I'm sorry I'm such a bad trip buddy…" He took my hand in his and kissed it before letting it go so he could grab the wheel.

"You're not. I enjoy watching you sleep and you looked quite peaceful…" I shrugged and looked outside.

"Still… Are we far yet?"

"No, we're almost there. We should be there in about 10 minutes." I nodded and turned to look at the watch. We were driving for about an hour already.

"We won't be late, will we?" I didn't want to get to his parents' house late and make a bad impression already. I would probably find a way of doing that without being late and I was nervous enough as it was.

"Not, but if we were it would be your fault."

"How would it be my fault?" I turned on my seat to look at him and rose and eyebrow.

"Well if I recall correctly, and I think I do, you were the one that jumped me when I woke you up." He moved his right hand to my leg and left it there.

"I didn't see you complain at the time."

"That's because I enjoyed it very much." He winked at me before moving his hand up my leg to my thigh.

"You're insatiable Mr. Cullen." He laughed at my comment and turned to look at me. A few months ago this would have freaked me out but I had already got used to his driving skills.

"Well, it's not my fault you're so tempting. I can't seem to resist you." I rolled my eyes at him before motioning to the street.

"Keep your eyes on the street, Casanova. I want to make it to your parents' alive!" He huffed at me and I laughed quietly. I knew he was a great driver but I couldn't help but to tease him about his love of speed.

"Like I would ever hurt you. Besides, if we aren't late it's because of my excellent driving ability." I had to agree with that. If it wasn't for him, we would definitely be late.

"Fair enough." We were quiet for a few more minutes until he turned to look at me once more and motioned for me to look outside.

"We're here." As the came slowly came to I stop I took in my surroundings. The white and large, two stories house stood in the middle of a garden, which was equally large and well taken care of. I could see tall trees behind the house as well as several flowers of different colors. It was simply beautiful.

Edward stopped at the end on the driveway, behind Emmett's jeep and I suddenly felt nervous again.

"Edward…" He unbuckled himself and turned to look at me.

"There's nothing to worry about, love. They will love you."

"But what if they don't?" That was always a distinct possibility…

"They will." I shook my head and bit my lower lip until Edward placed his hand beneath my chin, making me look at him. "Listen, I love you and so do they already. They like you just because you make me happy. They'll like you because you're an amazing person. You really have nothing to worry about, ok?" I smiled slightly and took a deep breath before stepping out of the car.

Once outside Edward took our bags from the car and then took my hand in his. He kissed me once before leading me inside the house.

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I hope you all had great holidays!


	13. Chapter 12 Carlisle and Esme

This chapter is a small one and I don't like it that much. At least I have the next chapter almost done...

I apologize for any mistakes, but I'm really tired right now so I may have missed some...

Thank you!

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Chapter 12 – Carlisle and Esme

His parents were waiting for us in the large living room. Carlisle had one arm around Esme's waist and she was slightly leaning against him. They were both smiling kindly at me and I couldn't help but to notice how well they fit together.

Edward squeezed my hand when they started to walk towards us and I took a deep breath to calm myself.

Edward's father, Carlisle, was extremely handsome. He looked young, was blonde, tall and lean. He appeared to be an easy going person.

Esme was equally beautiful. She was small and her soft hair framed her heart-shaped face perfectly. She emanated calm and safety.

"You must be Bella. I've heard so much about you." She enveloped me in a tight hug before pulling back to look at me. "It's so nice to finally meet you."

"You too, Mrs. Cullen."

"Oh dear, call me Esme." She smiled at me and I couldn't help but to smile back. When I looked back at Carlisle he reached his hand out for me to take it.

"Hello Bella, I'm Carlisle." I moved to take his hand and he smiled at me. "Edward wasn't lying when he said you were beautiful."

"Thank you." I knew I was starting to blush and Edward's chuckle beside me didn't help. He kissed my temple before taking a step towards Esme.

"Don't I get a hug too, mom?"

"Of course you do, love." She moved to hug Edward tightly while Carlisle smiled at me.

"The party won't be until later tonight Bella, so please feel free to look around if you want to. You're very welcome here."

"Thank you Carlisle and happy birthday by the way." He chuckled at me, much like Edward did, and I could immediately tell that Edward had acquired some of Carlisle's habits.

"Thank you, Bella." Edward placed his right hand on the small of my back and motioned upstairs with his head.

"So, do you want to go see my old bedroom?"

"Sure."

"Take your bags upstairs and leave them in your room, Edward. I'll take care of a few things on the kitchen so we can talk a little before the party, Bella." I smiled at Esme and nodded in her direction. Edward took my hand in that moment and led me upstairs to his room.

He placed our bags down while I looked around his room. It was neatly organized with a few books and cds lying on a shelve.

"This is nice. I like it."

"Thank you." He walked towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tip-toes to kiss his jaw.

"So, what did you think about my parents?" I smiled at him as I let my fingers play with his hair.

"They are amazing. I knew they would be by the way you talk about them but they were extremely nice to me. I really liked them." He leaned in to kiss my nose and a smile spread on his face.

"I'm glad." He once again leaned in to kiss me. He began by kissing me softly but quickly deepened the kiss. I allowed our tongues to dance together while I pressed my body against his and ran my hands along his hair.

When one of his hands moved under my shirt I knew I had to stop this. We were in his parents' house after all and I didn't want to offend any of them. I broke our kiss and pulled back to look at him.

"Hey, stop it! We won't be doing any of that under your mother's roof!" He put on his best innocent face and looked down at me.

"What? I wasn't doing anything!"

"Yes, you were and you know it. Behave!" He chuckled slightly before pulling me closer to him again and nuzzling my neck.

"I already told you, it's not my fault I find you so irresistible. I just can't have enough of you. You're so beautiful, charming and sexy that I simply have to keep touching and kissing you." I titled my head slightly to the side as he kissed my neck.

"You know at this rate I'm going to get a cavity soon."

"You won't, don't worry." I nodded as he kept kissing my neck and took a deep breath before taking a step back.

"Come on Mr. Cullen, your parents are waiting for us downstairs."

"My mother will monopolize you for the whole night; I can already see that…" I laughed at him as I took his hand and headed downstairs.

Esme was sitting on the couch with Carlisle nearby.

"You have a very nice house, Esme."

"Thank you, dear." I moved to sat beside her.

"I bet the boys loved growing up here. There's a lot of space to run around…" With so much space and a beautiful garden I was sure the boys had loved growing up here. Carlisle laughed slightly as Edward took a sit on the love seat.

"They definitely did a lot of that! They had Esme and me running around after them all the time. They would stay outside for hours and we eventually had to go hunt them down!" I couldn't contain myself and started laughing. I could picture Esme and Carlisle running around Emmett and Edward perfectly. Well, maybe not after Edward but definitely after Emmett.

"Yes, I can definitely imagine that!" Esme jumped slightly beside me and I looked at her curiously.

"Well I actually have a bunch of pictures I have organized so I could show them to you when you came over, Bella. I'm sure there are a few of them playing outside." Esme got up and headed to one of the shelves standing on one of the corners of the living room.

"You organized them so you could show them to me?"

"Yes. We've heard a lot about you, honey." She came to sit down beside me again with a few photo albums that she placed on her lap. Edward huffed from his place on the loveseat and I smiled at him.

"Mom, do you really have to show her that?"

"Of course!" Carlisle laughed loudly and came to sit beside Esme.

"Get ready Edward, your mother is going to scare Bella away." Esme glared at Carlisle and lightly smacked his arm.

"Leave us alone you two. I've been waiting for this for a long time!" I couldn't help but to smile at her as she opened one of the photo albums. I could see she truly was a great mother. It was evident by the way she wanted to share the childhood memories of her boys with me.

I was quite happy to be able to be part of this.

"Come on Esme, I want to see those photos. And please tell me you have some embarrassing ones of Edward!" Esme nodded happily as Edward came to stand behind me.

"No, she doesn't!"

"Really?" I looked up at him as he placed one hand on my shoulder.

"Yes, I've always been a very good boy. I was very well behaved." I laughed out loud and rolled my eyes at him.

"We'll see." I began to go through the several pictures Esme had of Edward and Emmett growing up. She had pictures of every moment that truly mattered. There were pictures of them playing together, going to school and opening their Christmas presents. There were several snapshots of Edward playing his piano and Emmett running around… The only pictures that were missing were their babies' pictures but, of course, she couldn't have those.

Edward was right, there weren't any embarrassing pictures of him but there were a lot of him with Carlisle and Emmett playing games or simply sitting on the living room. There was a particular photo of him sleeping on the couch when he was about 5 years old that caught my eye. He was very peaceful and amazingly cute.

"You were so cute!" I showed him the picture of him sleeping and he simply smiled before kissing the top of my head.

"That's one of my favorite photos too, Bella. Edward was always a very calm and cute child." I nodded as I kept going through the photos Esme had to show me. We only stopped when we heard a loud noise on the entry hall.

"Hello family. So where's my girl, Bella?" Emmett came loudly into the living room successfully startling all of us. He took a look around and immediately smiled at me. "There she is." He came over to me and bear hugged me. One of these days he was going to successfully suffocate me!

"Emmett, I can't breathe!" He let me go grinning before turning around to hug Esme and say hello to Carlisle and Edward.

"Hey Emmett, what's this picture I see?"

"What picture, squirt?" I showed him a picture of him wearing a dress and sitting on the floor surrounded by what I presumed was Esme's china. Emmett went immediately white and I couldn't help but to laugh at his expression.

"There's an explanation for that picture…" Edward chuckled and gestured for him to go on.

"Is there now? Come on, go on Emmett. We want to know…"

"Well you remember that friend of mom's who had two daughters, right?" Edward simply nodded once. "They used to dress me as a girl and make me play with them…" Everyone burst out laughing as Emmett huffed in annoyance.

I couldn't let this pass; I had to tease him a little more.

"You allowed to girls to dress you up?"

"They were older than me!" I laughed again as he took a step towards me.

"I can't believe you were dominated but two little girls, Emmet…" Esme laughed slightly as Emmett huffed again.

"Come on Bells, give me that picture. I want to destroy it." Edward took the picture from my hands before Emmett could.

"No way! I'll keep this picture." Emmett glared at Edwards and started to walk in his direction.

"For what?"

"For blackmail purposes, of course. What else?"

"Come on Eddie, give me that!"

"You should know that Ccalling me Eddie is not going to help you get this picture, Emmett." Edward took a step back when Emmett reached him and waved the picture in front of him. I couldn't not roll my eyes at them. Esme got up in that moment and interceded before they could continue their bicker.

"Come on boys, behave! You were not raised by wolves!" They both immediately stopped what they were doing and Edward saved the picture on one of his pockets with a wink at Emmett.

We all stayed in the living room for a while longer, talking and laughing until the guests arrived. To my surprise I felt comfortable being there with them. They made me feel at ease and welcome, almost like I was part of the family.

The night went by swiftly and by the end of the night, after all the guests were gone, I found myself in the kitchen with Esme while the boys discussed some baseball game in the living room.

I felt comfortable near her. She was very calm, sweet and… motherly. I could see why Edward and Emmett loved her so much.

"Esme, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, honey."

"Why did you decide to adopt Edward?" She placed the dish she was washing on the table and turned to look at me.

"Well I always wanted to have children but then found out I couldn't. A couple of years later Carlisle and I decided we would adopt. I wanted to be a mother more than anything and, for me, it didn't matter if I gave birth to my child or not." She smiled and took a sit. "We were living in Chicago at that time and after we decided we wanted to adopt we went to a home in order to meet candidates. The woman who ran the home sent us to a room where the meetings took place saying there was a little boy of 4 years old waiting for us. He had been there for about four months, sent after his parents had died in an accident. We went in and there was Edward, sitting on a corner and holding a stuffed animal. It was a bear who was playing a little piano." She laughed and I couldn't help but to laugh with her. The love for music had, apparently, begun early for Edward. "He looked up at me when I came in with those shiny green eyes and smiled. Right at that moment I knew that boy would be my son. We took care of all the papers and he came to live with us." She stopped for a while, looking like she was remembering those days, before going on. "He was such a cute child, Bella! He was always very calm, very intelligent and so loving. I'm truly proud of the man he became." She stopped once again to smile at me. "About two years later we adopted Emmett. He was 8 and what a handful! He was always running around and laughing. He really was a happy child." I couldn't help but to smile at that.

"He hasn't changed that much then."

"No, he hasn't!"

"You did a great job with both of them Esme. You should be proud."

"Thank you, Bella." Esme stood up and walked towards me so she could take my hands in hers. "I can tell you really like my son. I can see it in the way you look at him and I want you to know that he truly does love you. I have never seen him so happy before. He practically glows when he is around you and I want to thank you for that, for making him happy. He deserves to be happy." I simply nodded, not knowing exactly what to say. "I also want to ask you to take care of him and let him take care of you. He enjoys taking care of you…"

"I will. Thank you, Esme." She hugged me strongly before stepping out when Edward came in.

"Hey."

"Hi." I walked towards him, wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head in his chest.

"Are you ok?" He kissed the top of my head and I turned to kiss his chest.

"I am. I really like your mother. She is very nice." I could feel him smiling.

"I'm glad. I'm really glad. She likes you too. In fact, I think she already liked you before she met you." I smiled before yawning involuntarily.

"Come on sweetheart let's get you to bed. You had a long day. I know you're tired."

"Where I am going to sleep?"

"In my room." I turned my head to look at him.

"What about you?"

"Well I was hoping you wouldn't mind having me sleep beside you."

"I never do, you know that. Won't your parents mind?"

"No. Besides it's not like we'll be doing anything, apart from sleeping. Right?" I smiled at him and stood on my tip toes to kiss his lips.

"Right!" he shook his head and purposely sighed in exaggeration.

"Yes, that's what I thought…" I rolled my eyes at him and moved in order to kiss his lips once again.

"Ok then. Come on, let's go." Once we said goodbye to everyone Edward took me to his bedroom where I changed into one of his shirts before jumping into bed. I cuddled against him and soon after feel asleep in his arms.


	14. Chapter 13 Reasons

Once again thanks for reading. I hope you like this chapter.

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Chapter 13 - Reasons

Edward and I have been together for 6 months and I truly couldn't be happier. I knew almost everyone who was in love said that but I really was happier than I had ever been. Edward was able to make me happy with simple, little things like making me dinner when he knew I was tired or humming a song for me when I couldn't sleep.

He let me cuddle in his arms while I was reading a book and didn't even complain. We would stay like that for hours while I read the book and he played with my hair, kissing the top of my head and neck. And to top it all, there truly was nothing better than waking up in his arms and with him laying kisses all over my face.

I lazily opened my eyes, stretched on my bed and looked around, wishing I had stayed with Edward last night. I was, undeniably, already too used to staying with him every night and missed his presence way too much when I didn't. It was crazy; I shouldn't miss him like that when I was with him during the day, but I did.

I lingered in bed for a little longer and was just getting up when I got the first message from Edward.

_Please drop by my apartment tonigh__t after you get out of work, love. I have something to ask you. Meanwhile, I will be sending you a message every hour telling you exactly why I'm planning to ask you this. Have a good day, love._

What exactly did he mean by that? I texted him back, asking what he meant but he simply told me that I would find out tonight and that I should wait for his next message so that's what I did. I took a shower, grabbed something to eat and headed for work.

I had just entered my office when I got his next message. It was 9am, exactly one hour after that first one.

_Because you're beautiful and don't even notice it._

Moot point, as he would say. I was definitely not beautiful but the fact that he thought I was made me feel somewhat special.

What exactly did all of this mean? What did he want to ask me that required me knowing exactly why he wanted to do it? What he thought about me?

I knew I wouldn't get any answers from him before tonight so I placed my cell phone down and tried to focus on my work.

I was trying to finish an article about a new book I had just finished reading when I got his next message. It was exactly 10am.

_Because of the way you bite your lower lip when you're nervous, or deep in thought_…

I guess I did do that a lot, especially when I was nervous. I wasn't aware of it most times, though. It was just natural for me…

At 11am there was another message waiting for me.

_Because I love how you blush so easily, it's endearing. It makes you even more __beautiful, if possible._

That confirmed my suspicions. For some insane reason he found my blushing and incapability to maintain equilibrium absolutely endearing. He probably thought it was entertaining too.

Truthfully, as long as he was there to not let me fall, I didn't mind if he truly thought it was entertaining.

I still couldn't see where this was going or what he had planned but I knew that if I wanted to get something done today I had to stop thinking about it. Whatever he had planned I was sure it would be amazing…

At 12 he sent me another message that had me blushing slightly.

_Because you're warm, soft, brave, sweet, trusting and selfless._

I was far from being that perfect but I must confess that knowing he thought that of me made me proud. It was comforting to know that the way I felt around him, somehow reflected on my actions.

I met with Alice for lunch just before I got my 1pm message from Edward.

_Because you've made me become a better man just by being near you. You truly changed me Bella_.

It seemed highly unlikely, he was perfect. He claimed he wasn't, that he had many flaws but I was still to find one…

"What has you so happy, Bella?" I took my eyes from my cell phone and looked up at Alice who was taking a bite out of her food.

"Edward has been sending me these cryptic messages all day." She raised an eyebrow at me and motioned for me to go on. "I got the first one this morning when I was getting up. He said he had something to ask me tonight and that he wanted me to know why he was doing it."

"He wants to ask you something?"

"Yes. He has been sending me a message every hour saying why he wants to ask me whatever it is that he is planning to ask!"

"Can I see one of those messages?" I rolled my eyes at her but allowed her to read one message. Curious little Alice gave me a huge smile when I handed the phone over to her. She seemed deep in thought for a few minutes.

"Well, I don't know what he is going to ask you but whatever it is, it must be big!" It was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Why do say that?"

"He's clearly making sure you know exactly why he wants to ask you this, so I'm thinking that's because he wants you to say yes and if he's having all this trouble…"

"It must be something big…" I completed Alice's sentence as she gave me the phone back.

"Exactly." I tried to think about what he possibly had to ask me but couldn't seem to come up with an answer.

"What do you think it is, Alice?" She simply shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe he's planning to ask you to marry him!" My eyes widened immediately and my heart began to beat faster than it should. I loved Edward more than anything but marriage? I wasn't ready for that… I didn't want to get married. I didn't see the need for that.

"No, that's not it." It couldn't be. He wouldn't ask me something like that so out of the blue.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because we've only been dating for 6 months and he knows marriage is not my kind of thing. At least, not for now."

"I don't know what else it can be then…"

"Yes. Well, I guess I'll find out tonight!"

"You will!" I smile slightly at Alice before turning my attention to the food in front of me.

I was more curious now than before. I guess I was expecting some kind of foresight from Alice but for the first time she didn't seem to know what I should expect.

The marriage idea still sounded impossible to me. Edward would not ask me that, when he knew I wasn't ready. Besides, we hadn't been dating for that long…

I got the next message right after I had said goodbye to Alice after we had lunch.

_Because you like to cuddle in bed with a book and I like to be next to you when you do so._

I truly enjoyed it when he would lie next to me when I was reading. I wasn't able to keep my attention on the book at those times though.

I found myself waiting for my messages by the time it was 3pm. I was craving to know the little things he liked about me or liked to do with me.

_Because I sleep soundly when you're in my arms and terribly when you're far_.

That worked both ways. I too didn't seem to be able to get a good night of sleep without the weight of his arm thrown over me. As cheesy and weird as it sounded, he was the cure to my insomnia. In his arms I was finally able to sleep soundly most nights. He made me feel safe, comfortable and relaxed. I had to confess that the fact that he usually hummed a song and played with the strands of my hair when I was lying in his arms helped me relax and fall asleep.

He didn't disappoint me and at exactly 4pm I got my next message. I could easily get used to this, I realized…

_Because you like classical music and don't mind listening to me play the piano when we're in my apartment._

How could I mind? Watching him play the piano was one of my favorite things to do when we were together at his apartment.

He played beautifully and looked even more perfect and peaceful while doing so. He was in his environment and it showed. Nothing could bother him then. He gave himself completely to his music.

As expected I got the next message at 5pm. My curiosity grew as the hours passed. I couldn't wait to get to his apartment and know what he wanted from me that required so much dedication.

_Because you talk on your sleep and although, most of it is just random babbling about your day, I can't help the happiness that invades me every time you say you love me while cuddling closer to me._

I rolled my eyes at that. Of course I spoke in my sleep! And of course he had to enjoy listening to my random babbling, as he put it. Only I could be able to embarrass myself not only while awake but also while sleeping! At least like that he truly knew I loved him. If I couldn't portray my love for him accurately with my actions, at least, I seemed to be able to do so while sleeping…

I found myself slightly jumping up and down on my chair; much like Alice always did, while waiting for the 6pm message. Time seemed to go by way too slowly. All I wanted to do was get out of work and run to Edward's apartment.

_Because I simply love the way you look when we're making love. The feel of your small body beneath mine is __unmatched and the way you throw your head back and part your lips just makes me want you even more._

I immediately started to blush when I read the message. He had no idea of how much I liked making love with him. He knew exactly where to touch, where to kiss and where to bite to drive me completely crazy. I liked to think I knew what to do to drive him a little crazy as well… Truthfully, I thought we fit perfectly together and that was what made us so unbelievably good.

I was getting out of work at 7pm, when I got the next message. Just like the previous one it got me blushing slightly.

_Because well… You're a little vixen even if you will never admit it…_

I was not a vixen! I knew I sometimes got a little too excited when we were making love but it was his entire entire fault! He enjoyed teasing me too much. Besides, I knew he liked it when I acted enthusiastically.

I got to Edward's apartment just before 8pm. Once I opened the door I immediately noticed him standing in the middle of the living room. There were a few candles lit and I could tell he had been cooking my favorite food.

"Hey." He smiled at me as I came into the room and walked towards him. I stopped before I could reach him, though.

Looking around I noticed that shelves that held his cds and some books where now half empty. I raised an eyebrow at him as he approached me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"What's happening here? Why is there spare space in the shelves?"

"That's for you." He kissed the hollow beneath my ear before moving to kiss my neck.

"For me? What does that mean?"

"That's the reason why I have been sending you those messages…" He pulled back to look at as me and smiled slightly. "It's 8pm. Time for the last reason…" He took my hand in his and walked me over to the couch. He made me sit down as he knelt in front of me.

He cleared his throat once before starting to speak. He never broke eye contact, letting me know exactly what he was feeling.

"Because I love you more than anything. More than I ever thought I was capable of. Because I want to have you by my side forever. Because I want to fall asleep and wake up with you lying in my arms every day. And also because I want you to consider this place your home, our home… Will you move in with me?" A smile immediately spread on my face. So this is what he wanted to ask me. There was instantly no doubt on my mind that I did, in fact, want to move in with him.

I wanted to be able to be amongst his things all the time, know he was just next room and all I had to do was call him to have him beside me. I too wanted this to be my home, our home more than anything.

"You didn't have to do all this to ask me to move in with you, you know?" He nodded slightly and I could tell he was wondering if I would say yes or no. He was studying every movement of mine, trying to anticipate my answer.

"I do know that but I wanted to." I moved so I was sitting on the edge of the couch and placed my hands on his face.

"You're a romantic fool Edward Cullen. Of course, I'll move in with you." He smiled widely at me and turned his head to the side so he could kiss my right hand.

"Yes, but I'm your romantic fool." He placed his arms around my waist and kissed me deeply before pulling back to look straight at me once again. "I'm so glad you said yes."

"How could I not? I love you, so of course I want to always be with you."

"I know, I love you too but… There was always that fear, that possibly that you would say no." I shook my head and placed a light kiss on his lips.

"No, there wasn't. There is no way I would say no to something like this. I can't wait to move in with you."

"Good. That means we can start filling those shelves with you books and CDs as soon as possible then." I looked at the shelves for a minute and then back at him. I couldn't help but to smile again.

"Oh, that's what the space is for…"

"Yes. I thought you would like it. Besides being this your home too I wanted you to have where to put your things."

"I do like it. Thank you so much."

"You're very welcome, love." He moved his hands from my waist to my face and began to kiss me. It started out as a soft, sweet kiss but it quickly become deeper as he thrusted his tongue inside my mouth while I allowed my hands to roam freely along his chest.

He was the first one to pull back as I gasped for air. He kissed my cheek a few times before speaking.

"I made us dinner. Your favorite…" I nodded. Dinner was not what I had in mind right now. I was much more interested in having his body pressed against mine.

"I can tell." I moved to kiss his jaw once before biting my lower lip. "Can't it wait?" He raised an eyebrow at me but I knew he knew perfectly well why I wanted to wait for dinner.

"You want to wait?"

"Yes. I'm not that hungry right now. At least, not for food…" He chuckled slightly as his hands moved to my legs.

"I see. Can I know what you have in mind then?"

"I would rather show you." I pulled him towards me, making us move so I was lying on the couch with him on top of me. I immediately attacked his mouth as my hands wrapped around his neck. I could tell by his already hard erection pressed against my thigh that I wasn't the only one interested in delaying dinner for a few hours…

"You see, this is exactly why I say you're a little vixen Ms Swan!" I rolled my eyes at him but said nothing. I simply wrapped my legs around him as he gripped my waist and leaned in to kiss me once more.


	15. Chapter 14 Moving In

This is kind of a transition chapter so it's not that big. I hope you like it anyway.

My beta is sick so this chapter wasn't checked. I apologize for any mistakes.

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**Chapter 14**** – Moving In**

EPOV

I woke up with Bella cuddled safely in my arms. Her head was on my chest and one of her small hands was lying on my stomach. Her legs were tangled with mine and her long hair was spread on her pillow.

She was beautiful and she belonged here with me. I looked around the room, noticing a few boxes that were still unopened and smiled to myself. It made me immensely happy to know she had finally moved in with me. I felt it was about time.

I liked the fact that her things were spread around the house and that my arms were where she would fall asleep and wake up every day from now on. I could finally call my apartment home…

I was more scared than I would like to admit when I asked her to move in with me. I believed she wouldn't say no but there was always that possibility, that fear…

That's why I decided to send her several messages during the day telling her why I loved her so much. I wanted her to know exactly why I wanted her by my side every day. I didn't want to simply ask her to move in with me and freak her out on the process. I knew she had issues with marriage and I didn't know if those issues concerned moving in with me as well so I opted for the smooth approach. Gladly she said yes without making me suffer too much while waiting for her answer.

I couldn't help but to chuckle as I remembered her phone call to Alice later that night. I could hear the little pixie squealing and laughing from my place on the couch as Bella told her she would be moving in with me.

Apparently, Alice didn't mind Bella moving out at all. Something told me that had something to do with the fact that Alice didn't spend much time on their apartment anymore… Jasper was, obviously, the main reason for Alice's absence.

I chuckled again and turned my attention back to Bella just in time to see her lazily open her eyes to look up at me.

"Good morning, love." She smiled slightly and kissed my chest before speaking.

"Good morning."

"Did you sleep well?" She sighed and moved closer to me while I kissed her forehead.

"I did. What about you?"

"Me too. I always sleep well when you're here." She smiled against my neck and bit it gently before I placed my hand under her chin so I could kiss her mouth. I sucked on her lower lip before moving to kiss the hollow beneath her ear. She moaned slightly when I did so and I suddenly found myself lying on my back with her on top of me.

She moved so she was straddling me and leaned in so she could kiss me while her hands run up and down my chest.

She pulled back suddenly only to replace her hands on my bare chest with her lips. I let out a groan as she kept leaving wet kissing along my chest and stomach and moved my hands to her hair. I tugged on it and she looked up at me giving me the opportunity to pull her up along my body. I took her lips in between mine then and kissed her deeply, tasting her when she opened her mouth allowing me to thrust my tongue inside of it. She tasted as good as she smelled. I was completely addicted to her.

When Bella pulled back for air I made us move again so she was lying on her back and I was lying on top of her and between her legs. I placed my lips on her neck and started to nibble on it while she spoke.

"You know I think I like this way of waking up."

"I too enjoy it very much." She smiled at me and pulled me in for a kiss. I placed my hands on her waist and started to pull my shirt she was wearing up. When the shirt was off I got up so I could remove her panties and then sat back down when they were off.

I made her spread her legs again, hearing her moan slightly when I did so and knelt between them so I could look at her beautiful and naked body.

She was in a word: exquisite. I could spend the whole day just looking at her and running my hands along her soft skin.

I let my eyes trail slowly along her body before focusing on her face. She was blushing slightly and I couldn't control the urge to kiss her. She was adorable when she was embarrassed.

She moved her little hands down my stomach stopping at the waistband of my boxers for a second before moving them beneath it while she kissed my jaw. I shivered when she stroked my erection and buried my head on her neck.

She took the opportunity to nibble and lick my neck and shoulder while pulling my boxers down. Once they were off, she ran her hands up my back, pulling me closer to her and pressed her lips to my ear.

"You taste so good, Edward." I groaned against her neck and moved to take her lower lip in between mine. I sucked and nibbled on it as she writhed beneath me.

After releasing her lips I began to kiss down her throat to the valley between her breasts before finally taking a nipple in my mouth. Her little hands immediately fisted in my hair in order to keep me in place while she moaned quietly.

I sucked and nibbled on that nipple before turning my attention to the other one and repeating my actions as she moaned and writhed more beneath me. I kept lavishing attention to her breasts until I felt her tugging on my hair. I pulled back a little in order to look at her and she immediately looked down at me.

"Edward…" She moved her hands from my hair to my shoulders and wrapped her legs tightly around me, letting me know exactly what she wanted and that she was already prepared for me.

I didn't lose time placing myself correctly between her legs and entering her with a long thrust that had both of us moaning slightly. I was never quite able to keep myself from groaning once I was inside of her, she always felt too good.

I kept my eyes locked on hers as we began to move together. She met every thrust of mine with one of her one and we quickly set a rhythm that was simply delicious.

I began moving in and out of her faster and faster as her walls started to close around me. It wasn't long until she moaned my name and clenched tightly around me sending me over the edge with her.

I buried my head in her neck and bite down on it as we rode the last remains of our release. I stood still for a while after I finally stopped shuddering and simply enjoyed the feel of her soft body beneath me and her hands running slowly up and down my back.

I finally moved, not wanting to crush her little frame with the weight of my body and rolled to the side bringing her with me so her head was lying on my chest.

"I really I'm so glad you accepted to move in with me." I felt her smile against my chest and move her hand up my stomach.

"Me too" I kissed the top of her head and wrapped my arms around her more strongly, wishing we could be like this for the rest of the day but knowing perfectly well that if we weren't up and presentable when Emmett got here we would never hear the end of it. He already teased us every chance he got for catching of us making out on the couch once. He was incorrigible, the big goof simply just never knocked! Maybe I should change the locks now and conveniently forget to give him a key…

BPOV

Alice and Emmett came over after lunch so they could help Edward and I unpack and move the last boxes but truly I think they got in our way more than they helped us. Alice kept making faces at my clothes saying that I definitely had to go shopping with her so I could upgrade my closet while Emmett kept bugging us with not so subtle hints of how it would be much easier for Edward and me to get laid now that we were living together. He even went as far as to say that he expected never to see us getting it on, his words not mine, in front of him again since we could now spend the weekends in bed together without anyone interrupting us. That's Emmett for you!

I was almost relieved when they had to leave. I loved them dearly but they could be a handful, especially when together and without Jasper and Rosalie to control them. It seemed like Jasper was able to calm Alice down a little and since Rosalie and Emmett began going out a few months ago, she too seemed able to control his outbursts, if even for just a short amount of time.

With the last box finally unpacked I pulled my hair up in a disarranged ponytail and went to sit in front of the computer in an attempt to write a little while Edward took a shower.

I felt as happy and relaxed as ever. I was finally where I belonged: with Edward in our apartment.

Alice and Rosalie had been great when I told them I was moving out. Alice squealed and laughed while telling me she was happy for me. My pixie friend apparently thought Edward and I really were perfect together and that moving in together was the right thing to do. I too thought that accepting to move in with him was one of my best decisions so far.

I could hear the water from Edward's shower running and smiled to myself. I liked to hear him moving around the apartment, it made all this seem more real.

I turned my attention to the computer and started to write. The words seemed to flow nicely as I finished an article about the last book I had read.

Soon after I could feel Edward standing behind me and looked up at him with a smile on my face.

"What has you so concentrated, love?" Edward bent down and placed his hands on my waist from behind. His lips where immediately on my neck, nibbling and sucking on it.

I tilted my head to the side as to give him a better access and closed my eyes while enjoying the feeling of his lips running along my neck and jaw.

He sucked gently on my earlobe before speaking again. His silky voice sent shivers down my back.

"I like it when you wear your hair up like this." He kissed my neck once again and I let out a little moan when one of his hands moved from my waist to my stomach.

"You do?" He nodded against my neck, making me shiver again. He could make me melt way too easily. "Why?"

"Because this way I have an easier access to your neck." He bit my neck then, harder than he had before, as to prove his point. I couldn't help but to giggle at the idea that crossed my mind when he said that.

"I swear you must have been a vampire in a past life or something along those lines." He chucked slightly but kept his attention on my neck.

"Well, if I was a vampire then you were definitely my favorite victim." I giggled slightly and covered his hand, which was still on my waist, with mine. "And judging by how delicious you are I think we can say I was a vampire with very good taste."

"I sort of like vampires, you know?"

"You have a thing for vampires?"

"No, that's not what I said. It's not a thing I just…" He cut me off by nibbling on my ear. He smiled when I stopped talking and moved so he was kneeling in front of me and could see my reaction.

"You do have a thing for vampires!"

"It's not a thing, Edward!" He smirked at me and run his hands up my legs to my waist. The look on his face told me I wouldn't get away with it that easily.

"You like it when I bite you." I blushed slightly but confessed anyway.

"Well that's only because it's you biting me. I wouldn't enjoy it if it was anyone else…" He smiled widely and made me open my legs so he could stand between them.

"That's good to know because I do, in fact, enjoy biting you. And I certainly hope no one even tries to get that close to you! You're mine." I moved to the edge of my seat and wrapped my arms around him as he kissed up my shoulder to my mouth. He purposely let his teeth graze my skin as he did so and I couldn't help but to whimper slightly.

"I'm yours." I truly was completely his. Not in a possessive and scary way. I was his like I knew he was mine. We belonged together…

He kept kissing me deeply as I moved my hands to his soft hair. I moaned against his mouth when he thrusted his tongue inside my mouth and felt his chest vibrate due to a muffled groan at the same time.

We pulled back when we were out of breath and he leaned in to softly kiss me again before speaking.

"Are you too busy or can you make a break?"

"I can definitely make a break."

"Good. Maybe we can explore this newly found thing of yours for vampires." He got up and picked me up before I could say anything.

"Haven't you had enough of me this morning?" I surely hoped not because I certainly hadn't had enough of him yet.

"I can never have enough of you, love." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "Besides, I thought vampires aren't supposed to get tired."

"We're already in character, I see..." He chuckled slightly and kissed my jaw.

"Yes. Maybe you should start screaming now."

"No. Let's see what you can do to elicit that reaction from me first…" He smirked and winked at me in a gesture very common in Emmett. I buried my head in his neck, giggling as he began to walk.

When his lips found mine again I gladly let him carry me to our bedroom.

This was definitely a good way of spending the rest of my days…

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They've been pretty happy so far, no?


	16. Chapter 15 Insecure

It took me long enough to write this chapter but the truth is that I got bite by other plot bunnies and I just had to get them out of my system first.

By the way I was wondering if anyone could help me with the next chapters of this story. I'm currently Betaless and would really appreciate if someone could check my work. Thank you.

I hope you like this chapter and just so you know, there's a lemon towards the end.

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**Chapter 15 -**** Insecure**

BPOV

Without me even realizing it six more months went by and Edward's and mine first year anniversary was just around the corner.

In the last six months it seemed like everyone and everything had fallen into its right place. Alice moved in with Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett finally became serious. I could even tell that if Emmett didn't step up soon and asked her to move in with him, Rosalie would do it herself. She was that 'do it yourself' type of girl after all!

It was actually quite funny to think about how everything had turned out and everyone had fallen in love.

Charlie came visit me a month ago and met Edward. He would never admit it to me but I knew he had liked Edward and thought he was, in his own words, a straight up guy who better know how to treat me right. He also seemed to get on well with Emmet, which didn't really surprise me. Both of them could spend the day in front of the TV watching the baseball games, after all...

When it came to Edward and me, it seemed like I feel deeper in love with him every day. We liked staying home together simply talking, making love and enjoying each other's company. We even seemed to have developed a little routine of our own!

When we didn't have to be at work early in the morning we went to our little bookstore and then walked to the coffee and tea house, where we had first got to know each other, and spent the morning talking. I loved that little routine and I knew he did too. Both those places were special to us and we felt at ease there. Unfortunately, that's exactly where the first blow to my confidence happened…

Thursday morning before our Saturday anniversary, Edward and I were sitting on our regular table at the coffee and tea house when this extravagant, strawberry blonde woman approached us. I could immediately tell from her attitude that although she was beautiful she was also quite unpleasant.

"Edward! It's been so long since I last seen you." The tone of her voice didn't please me at all and Edward immediately stiffened besides me, letting me know this wasn't someone he was happy to see.

"Tanya, how are you?" Tanya? The girl that went out with Edward and cheated on him? I didn't know how I had pictured her but this surely wasn't it. I knew she would be beautiful but I wasn't expecting her to be so unpleasant and bitchy like. I guessed I had never truly believed Edward when he said that along the years she had become an extremely obnoxious person, who he had no idea how he could have gone out with. According to Emmett she was very good at playing the good girl part in front of Edward until he finally figured out who she really was.

Even thought I knew all that about her and that Edward was in no way interested in her, her simple presence was able to make me feel out of place and uncomfortable. Probably because she really was beautiful and I knew I was nothing more than plain. She made the discrepancy between Edward and me very clear.

"I'm excellent. What about you, dear?" He flinched slightly at the nickname and furrowed his brow in clear displeasure. It was actually quite amazing to see how he managed to remain polite when he was definitely not enjoying this.

"I'm very good, thank you Tanya. It's been a pleasure seeing you after all this time but if you don't mind we would like to be left alone." Her eyes flicked to me for a second before she turned her attention back to Edward and I immediately felt like she was analyzing me, judging me and by the look on her face, I could tell she enjoyed my presence as much as I enjoyed hers.

"Who is this?" She turned her attention back to me, eyeing me with unconcealed disdain.

Edward reached for my hand and took it in his, squeezing it in what I assumed was an attempt to comfort me.

"This is my girlfriend Bella." He looked at me and smiled brightly, making me smile back at him.

"You're girlfriend?"

"Yes, Tanya, my girlfriend. Now is there anything else I can do for you?"

"I thought you had better taste Edward. She's not even pretty. How can you date that after having been with me?" Edward squeezed my hand again as I looked down at my lap. As I said, she was highly unpleasant.

"You know, I've come to realize that I had really bad taste back then Tanya. Now, I would really appreciate it if you would go away." She didn't move though, simply stood there looking between Edward and I.

"What is it about her? Is she great in bed? Is that why you keep her? She gives you a good time?" Edward let go of my hand and got up as I moved to grip his shirt. I felt angry at this bitch but I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted her to leave us alone.

"Edward, leave it alone. It's ok."

"Tanya you better leave right now before I do something I won't regret half as much as I should."

"What are you going to do? Hit me? You're not that kind of man." At least that she got right.

"Of course not. But I can ask the manager to help you out. Knowing who you are, I'm sure that would be embarrassing." She seemed to ponder her options for a few seconds before starting to walk away.

"Fine! Have fun with your little slut there!" Edward growled but came to sit down beside me again as Tanya walked away. She had seemed to know exactly what to say to make me feel more inadequate than usual.

I had wanted to stand up for myself for somehow I couldn't do it. Probably because I knew what she had said was true. I wasn't even pretty...

Edward immediately knew that Tanya's words had hit my weak spot. She had just taken all my insecurities and made them immensely worse. For the last year I had tried to overcome that feeling that told me that Edward could do much better than me, that he could be much happier with someone more like him, more worth of him and with his help I had done it for the most part. But now, listening to that woman's words...

"Bella please look at me." I moved to look at him and smiled weakly. He immediately cupped my face in his hands and leaned in to kiss it. "Don't listen to a word Tanya said; don't let it get to you because none of it is true. You know I love you right?" I just nodded slightly. "Tanya has always been... well, a bitch and she doesn't deserve you to let her get to you."

"She's a bitch but you went out with her anyway." I knew that wasn't fair of me but the words had left my mouth before I could even think about them.

"Yes, I did. I was very stupid then and you know I never felt anything for her."

"I know. I'm sorry, I'm just..." He kissed my face once again, not letting me finish my sentence.

"I know love, but please believe me when I say that you are better than her in every way. You make me feel things no one ever did." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I leaned in against his touch.

I knew he loved me, I didn't doubt that. I just wished I could be better for him. I wished I could be more gracious, prettier and more confident. Maybe then I would deserve him just a little bit more than I did.

"Edward, can we go home?" He nodded and went to pay for our drinks as I waited for him at the door.

We walked quietly to our apartment as he held my hand and caressed the skin there. As much as I tried I couldn't shake my insecurities away so as soon as we got home I walked to the bedroom and allowed some of the tears that I hadn't even noticed had pooled in my eyes fall down. I didn't want Edward to see me cry because of this but of course he did.

"Bella, love, please don't be like that." He walked towards me and started to wipe my tears away as I simply shook my head. "How many times do I have to tell you that you are the most amazing creature that I have ever met? That I love you more than anything and that you're simply beautiful?" No I wasn't. I knew I wasn't. I was just plain Bella.

"Thank you Edward, I really appreciate it that you think that but I can see myself clearly. We have mirrors around the house after all."

"No, you don't. You don't see yourself clearly at all and that's the problem! In fact the way you regard yourself is completely wrong." I sighed and moved to sat on the bed so I could take my shoes off. "Ok, I'll show you then." He walked to the mirror, standing on the room and moved it so it was reflecting my image sitting on the bed.

"Edward..." He walked back towards me and reached for my hands, making me get up and leaned in to kiss my face.

"Trust me, love." He softly kissed my lips once before turning his attention to my neck. I immediately wrapped my arms around him and moaned slightly. No matter how low I was feeling he could always make me feel special. The things he did to me were inexplicable.

He stopped his hands at the hem of my top before running them underneath it and finally taking it off. He then started to kiss down my body and knelt down in front of me so he could open the button on my jeans and pull them down my legs while kissing my stomach.

Once they were off, he got up again in order to kiss my mouth and I took the opportunity to take his shirt off and run my hands along his bare chest.

He kept kissing my face and neck as I tangled my hands in his hair and he moved his to unclasp the hook of my bra. He slowly took it off while leaving a trail of kisses down my collarbone to the valley between my breasts and then finally to my breasts. He kissed and sucked on each of them as I whimpered. When his mouth was lavishing attention to one of my breasts, his hand cupped and massaged the other making me melt completely into him.

When I reached to unbutton his pants he grabbed my hand, stopping me and letting me know that wasn't how it was going to be right now. He moved his hands to my ass and squeezed it once before hooking his long fingers under the waistband of my panties. He nibbled and suck on my lower lip before pulling back to smile at me and pull my panties down my legs, letting them pool at my feet.

When my clothes were completely off he stood behind me and made me turn around so I was looking at the mirror. His hands ran up and down my body as he urged me to look at my naked reflex.

"See? Look at how perfect you are Bella." I moaned when he cupped my breasts and he made us move so he was sitting on bed and I was sitting on his lap. My back was pressed to his chest and his hands moved down my body to rest on my thighs, opening my legs.

"Open them, love." He sucked on my earlobe and I did as he said, spreading my legs for him. When his hand cupped my breast again I threw my head back on his shoulder and closed my eyes. "No, sweetheart. Don't close your eyes; I want you to see how glorious you are." With a little whimper I forced myself to open my eyes and looked at the mirror.

Edward's eyes were fixed on me as he placed a hand between my legs, sliding one finger inside of me quickly followed by another one and finally a third one.

The sight of him moving his fingers inside of me while cupping my breast with his other hand and biting my shoulder made me moan loudly.

My breathing quickly became shallower as he kept moving his fingers in and out of me faster and faster, leading me to my release. The way he curled his fingers inside of me every now and then and then rubbed my clit had me panting hard and moaning loudly in no time.

"Keep looking, Bella. Can you see how beautiful you look in this position, with your legs opened for me, your body pressed against mine and your mouth slightly opened as you gasp and moan?" He bit my neck once again and that combined with his words, was enough to send me over that edge while screaming his name.

"Edward!" I watched as my body arched in the direction of his hand and as a pleasure expression crossed my face. It was and hypnotizing sight, I must confess. I could not stop looking and that seemed to make my release so much stronger.

When my body went limp and I threw my head back to rest it on his shoulder he laid me down on bed and kissed me several times before getting up to take the rest of his clothes.

I bit my lower lip while watching him strip for me and I could immediately feel that need for him growing inside of me again. He was quite a sight!

He then crawled on top of me, between my legs and gently moved my head to the side so I was looking at our refection on the mirror.

"I want you to watch us, love. I want you to see how perfectly we fit together." I nodded and he moved to kiss me several times before slowly entering me when he knew I was ready for him.

I cried out loud in pleasure as he did so, enjoying the feeling of having him filling me. He always felt so good inside of me!

With the mirror positioned as it was I could see us perfectly. I could see and not only feel, Edward standing between my legs that were wrapped around him. I could also see his hand resting on my thigh, lifting my leg higher so he could thrust deeper inside of me.

I was even able to see him lift himself in one arm in order to slam faster and even deeper inside of me before coming to kiss my face and speak near my ear. I could feel him all the way inside of me, leading me fast and hard to my release.

"Beautiful. You're so beautiful!" He turned his head to the side so he too was looking at the mirror and I could no longer hold on.

I started to moan loudly, never taking my eyes off the mirror and felt myself tremble when I reached my orgasm for the second time today.

My release brought on Edward's and on the mirror I could see how his body moved twice more on top of me before he spilled inside of me. The way he closed his eyes and opened his mouth to say my name was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. That sight only made me fell down that edge again, while digging my nails in his back.

When he collapsed on top of me I closed my eyes, thinking that he was right. When we were like this we did look beautiful and I could see how we fit perfectly. For that moment I relished on the thought that I could give him that kind of pleasure and could make him look even more beautiful than he already was.

"Have you realized how beautiful you are or do I need to keep showing you?" Although that was something I would surely enjoy I smiled and kissed his face.

"Thank you. You do make me feel beautiful."

"You are beautiful. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." I shrugged my shoulders.

"You're biased."

"Maybe. It doesn't change the fact that you are. You don't notice all the men that look at you. They undress you with their eyes and that makes me absolutely crazy because I know what they are thinking. They are thinking about kissing you, touching you and having you like this in their arms. I've never been a jealous man Bella, but when that happens I just want to rip their heads off, hold you in my arms and let them know that you're mine. That I am the only one who gets to kiss you, touch you and hold you..." He buried his head on my neck and made us move so I was lying on top of him.

"I'm sorry. I know it sounds horrible and so primitive but I can't help it. Jealous is a tricky thing. It's just that I love you and I don't want to lose you." He seemed embarrassed by his confession. I was sure he didn't want me to think he viewed me as a property. I knew he didn't and I knew exactly how I felt. I was his, just like I knew he was mine.

"You won't. I'm yours." I kissed his nose and smiled down at him.

"Are you?"

"I am. There's no doubt about that." I buried my face in his neck and gently bit it. "Do you want me to show you?" He chuckled beneath me and cupped my face so I was looking at him.

"How do you plan to do that?"

"You'll see." I kissed his chest and sat down on his lap, proceeding to show him just how much I belonged to him.

I guess that with a little help from him, I could just overcome this insecurity of mine.

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What can I say? Bella is a very silly, oversensitive girl! And for the sake of the future of this story I totally had to make Tanya a bitch. Someone had to shake Bella's perfect world, after all...


	17. Chapter 16 Take Me Away

So here is chapter 16. I hope you like it!

Thank you so much to Irebporti for being my BETA. You helped a lot!

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**Chapter 16 ****– Take Me Away**

Having the possibility to work from home really came in handy for me. I was definitely feeling better than yesterday morning due to Edward's original method of making me feel good about myself but I still felt a little insecure.

I sent my article to my editor and then decided that baking was a good idea. I always seemed to relax and think my problems over when I was baking. It was almost therapeutic for me. Besides I knew Edward liked my cakes so that was a good enough reason to do it.

I ended up making two cakes. Alice knocked on my door and then went rushing into the kitchen sniffing the air just as I was putting the first one in the oven. The girl seemed to always be able to tell when I was making something she liked.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm baking."

"Why? What happened?" I raised an eyebrow at her but she just shrugged.

"Nothing happened."

"Oh, come on Bella. I know you better than that. I know you only bake when you're down or worried. Tell me what's wrong!" She really did know me pretty well so there was no point in lying to her.

"I met Edward's ex-girlfriend yesterday."

"Oh… and?"

"And… she is a real bitch! But, she's also beautiful..." Alice huffed while reaching to help me with the cakes.

"Please tell me you didn't let her get to you." There was no way I could have done that. She had known how to make me feel bad about myself.

"I wish I hadn't, but she said these things... And, I couldn't help but think that maybe I'm not that perfect for Edward after all." I didn't even need to look at Alice to know she was rolling her eyes. She seemed to think that my insecurities were unfunded.

"Of course you are! You can't possibly think Edward would be better off with a bitch like Tanya!"

"No, of course not. But, he could be with someone as nice and as beautiful as him..." Alice raised her hands in the air, stopping me.

"Oh, for God's sake, Bella! Why can't the fact that you are beautiful, an amazing person and perfect for Edward get through to that crazy head of yours?" I sighed as I took one of the cakes out of the oven.

"I thought it had, but... I don't know why I can't help feeling inadequate sometimes."

"Well, you're not. I told you this once and I'll tell you again: you and Edward are perfectly balanced. You two complete and belong to each other."

"I'm trying to believe that, Alice."

"Stop trying and believe then." I looked at her and nodded while trying to do as she said. I couldn't let this get in between Edward and me.

I stood quietly for a few minutes.

"Changing the subject, what are you and Edward doing for your anniversary?" I shrugged my shoulders. The last cake was done and I took it out of the oven. I turned it off and faced Alice.

"I'm not sure. He's taking me away somewhere but won't tell me where."

"Ooh, I love it when he does that" She giggled. "It's so sweet! I wish Jasper would take a page out of Edward's book..." I had to laugh at that. "What?"

"Rosalie said the exact same thing about Emmett a few days ago." Alice shrugged slightly while putting a cake aside so she could take it home.

"Yes, you're lucky. Jasper isn't that bad actually; but, you got the romantic one out of the three of them." My mind went back to yesterday. How he had made me look in the mirror while we were making love so I could understand the way he saw me. I had to agree with Alice.

"Yes, I'm definitely lucky." She, of course, noticed the silly smile on my face and grinned wickedly at me.

"May I ask why you're smiling like that, Ms. Bella?"

"I can't just smile now?"

"Of course you can. But, I happen to know that smile means you did something naughty and I'm sure Edward was involved in it." I tried to feign shock but couldn't quite make it since I started laughing.

"Well, let's just say that he truly does know how to make me feel better!" Alice giggled loudly and jumped on her place.

"I'm sure he does!" We stood laughing for a little longer until she had to go home.

EPOV

I knew meeting Emmett and Jasper at a hardware store was a bad idea.

Emmett had been looking around the store for what it seemed like hours and I really just wanted to go home. I didn't even know why he had wanted me to come along when he clearly seemed to know what he wanted.

"Hurry up, Emmett! I want to get home as soon as possible." He took another item from the shelves and finally started to walk to the cashier.

"Why the hurry?"

"I want to take Bella to mom and dad's cottage so we can spend the weekend there." Jasper nodded besides me.

"Oh, that's right! Alice said something about it being yours and Bella's anniversary this weekend.

"It is… and I still have to pick her present up so please hurry up Emmett!" I would kill him if the store closed before I could do it.

"I'm going, man! You need to relax. And stop doing that romantic stuff because Rosalie hears about them then fights with me because I'm not a love sick puppy." I simply rolled my eyes as Jasper chuckled.

"You know… maybe you should learn a few things with Edward and maybe ask Rosalie to move in with you before she does it herself or dumps you..." Jasper suggested

"She's not going to dump me because of it and I will do it… eventually. I'm just waiting for the right moment."

"I wouldn't wait for too long if I were you!" As much as I loved to tease Emmett now just wasn't the right time for it. They better start hurrying it up.

"Emmett..."

"Relax, Edward! I'm just waiting to pay! If it gets too late for you to drive up there tonight you can do it tomorrow morning!"

"Yes, I know that Emmett but I really want to do it today. I want to take Bella away." Thinking there was something wrong Jasper turned to look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What's up? Is there something wrong?"

"Not exactly. It's just that Bella and I ran into Tanya yesterday and she said a few things that got Bella a little down. I want her to forget it ever happened." I wanted to believe she had already forgotten about it but I knew better.

Tanya had hit Bella's weak spot and make all her insecurities come rushing back again.

"I guess it's safe to say Tanya is still a bitch!" Jasper had no idea how right he was.

"She's worse, if possible."

They laughed.

"Then, you know what you have to do to make Bella forget all about it." Jasper grinned at me - much like Emmett usually did - before continuing. "Just tell her that Tanya's a bitch and that whatever she said isn't true."

"Yes, let Bella know that it's not worth worrying about what the bitch said."

"I already did that and I think she knows it but spending the weekend away will be good for us." Emmett rolled his eyes at me while paying for his stuff.

"You really are a love sick puppy, Eddie. Come on, let's go. I'm all done." I guess I really was but I didn't mind at all. Bella just deserved me to be completely in love with her.

I started to walk towards the car as Emmett picked up all of his stuff. I was dying to go to the store pick Bella's present up and rush home. I took the time and warned Emmett again about the whole calling me Eddie thing, though.

"Don't call me Eddie, Emmett. You know I hate it." He simply laughed while throwing his things inside the car so we could drive away.

--

I picked up Bella's present, hoping she would like it and immediately headed home. Once I opened the door to out apartment I could immediately see Bella standing on the living room and walked to her.

"Hi."

"Hello, love." She smiled at me as I wrapped my arms around her, pressing her body against mine. I leaned in to place a light kiss on the hollow beneath her ear. "How was your day?"

"It was good. How was yours?"

"It was good… I met with the guys a few hours ago." She smiled up at me again and stood on her tip-toes to kiss me. I was immersed in our kiss when a particular smell caught my attention.

It truly had to be an amazing smell to make me think of anything else when I was kissing Bella.

"Something smells good." She giggled before placing another soft kiss on my lips.

"I baked a cake today." I raised an eyebrow at her in worry. I knew she only baked when she was depressed. I'd hoped she was feeling more sure of herself today but apparently I was wrong.

"You did? Why?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"I like to do it and I thought it would be nice to make a cake for you too today. Alice came over and helped me."

"I bet she took one of those cakes home as well..." Bella was an amazing cook and her cakes were especially delicious.

"She did."

"Jasper is a happy man, I'm sure..." She smiled slightly and took my hand in hers in order to lead me to the kitchen where I immediately reached for a slice of the cake. It was absolutely delicious as always.

"Are you really okay, my love?"

"Yes, Edward. I don't only bake when I'm down, you know? Sometimes I just like to do it for the fun of it and because I know you like my cakes."

"I definitely do and this one is coming with us, for sure."

"Ah! And where exactly are we going?" I took a step towards her and wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Do you remember my parents' cottage?"

"Of course I do." We had spent one of the best nights of my life there so I thought that would be somewhere she would like to go again.

"I thought we could spend the weekend there, without anyone or anything to bother us." She wrapped her arms around my neck and smiled.

"That sounds good." I buried my face on her neck and kissed the skin there, making her shiver. I enjoyed knowing I could make her react like that since she clearly was able to do the same to me.

"Yes, it definitely does." I couldn't wait to take her away from all this and make sure she was happy and relaxed.

"When are we going?"

"I was thinking today." She pulled back to look at me and I could see her eyes shine slightly.

"Really?"

"Yes. We just have to pack some clothes and go. What do you think?"

"I think this weekend will be amazing! I can't wait to have you all for myself!" I wrapped my arms more strongly around her, crushing out bodies together and kissed her cheek several times.

"Likewise, love. I can't wait to take you away." I knew spending the weekend alone with her in the cottage would be extraordinary. I truly couldn't wait to have her all by myself and keep her in bed for the whole weekend.

--

We managed to get to the cottage early at night. After settling everything we ate a slice of her delicious cake and we sat down in front of the fireplace with a wonderful outside view of the moon. We were rarely able to see the moon from the city. It was a nice change.

Bella stood sat between my legs and when I wrapped my arms tighter around her she moved to place a kiss on my jaw. I felt her smile against my skin.

"Thank you for bringing me here. I really like it."

"I really like being here with you, too." She smiled again and I leaned in to kiss her soft lips. She opened her mouth for me when I ran my tongue along her lower lip, allowing me to thrust my tongue inside her mouth and savour how delicious she tasted.

She was addicting.

We stood there in front of the fireplace for what seemed like hours, simply kissing and caressing each other. I tried to show her with my actions that nothing was more important or more beautiful than she was.

Only when it got a little colder and she said she wanted to get a blanket did I loosen my hold on her.

I could already tell she wasn't feeling so hot when she stood up. She swayed slightly and I immediately got up to catch her before she could fall. It was not unusual for Bella to trip over her own feet but this time she only stood up.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, pressing her back to my chest, and steadied her. She rested her head on my shoulder as I did so and I began to run my hand up and down her stomach, making sure she was all right.

"Bella? What is it, are you feeling okay?" She looked kind of pale, more so than usual. I felt her body moving upwards as she took a deep breath.

"Yes, I'm okay. I'm just a little dizzy that's all." I made her turn around so I could look at her and ran my fingers along her face.

"You sure?" I pressed

"Yes, I'm okay now." She smiled up at me and stood on her tip-toes to kiss my lips in an attempt to convince me she was fine.

"Maybe you should go to the doctor when we get back to New York."

"Why? I'm fine."

"Yes, I know you are but you threw up this morning and felt dizzy just now. I 'd feel better if you went to the doctor for just a check up." She rolled her eyes but nodded anyway.

"Ok. I'll go to the doctor when we get back and do a full check up. Does that sound good?"

"Yes, thank you." I leaned in and took her lips in between mine and pulled her closer to me. She complied with my kisses for a few minutes before pulling back to look at me with what I knew to be a devilish smile on her face.

"You know since I just felt sick maybe you could examine me and save me the work of going to the doctor when we get back." My little vixen! I pressed out bodies closer together still and took her earlobe in my mouth sucking lightly on it.

"Really?" She simply nodded while running her hands up my arms. "I think I can do that."

I moved my hands from her waist to her ass and squeezed it before pulling her up so she could wrap her legs around my waist.

I carried her to the bedroom and gently laid her down in bed. She immediately moved so she was lying on the middle of it and opened her legs for me. A silent notice that said I was more than welcome to lay in between them.

I did so and took her top off in the process. I started to leave several open mouthed kisses down her collarbone all the way down her chest and then to the top of her breasts.

I stopped and looked up at her before taking her bra off.

"Do you really feel well enough to do this?"

"I most definitely do, Doctor Cullen." She lifted her back off the bed so I could unhook her bra and I had to smile at that. Her calling me Doctor Cullen was a great turn on.

I pulled her bra off and immediately closed my mouth around one of her nipples as my hand moved to massage the other breast. She seemed to like that a lot because she immediately wrapped her legs around me and placed her hand on my head, pulling me closer to her.

I sucked and nibbled on each of her perfect breasts, never stopping with the massage I was giving the one my mouth wasn't lavishing in attention. Then she moved her little body beneath mine, making my erection brush against her thigh.

I pulled back to look at her then and smiled as she whimpered due to the loss of contact.

"Well, I see no problem at all with your breasts Ms Swan. Quite the contrary actually. You're breasts are simply amazing." She bit her lower lip and nodded.

"I'm glad."

"Yes, maybe I should move my examination to another part of your body, then..." She nodded once as I made her tilt her head a little to the side so I could bury mine on her neck and bit down on it.

I suddenly stopped what I was doing and laughed out loud as a very weird thought ht hit me. What would Carlisle say if he knew I was playing doctor with Bella?

"What?"

"My father would never approve of this!" She giggled and bucked her hips up in my direction while tangling her fingers in my hair so she could pull me closer and whisper in my ear.

"Well, he'll never know. Now…" She took a deep breath. "Doctor Cullen, maybe you should go on with your examination. I was actually enjoying it." I chuckled and winked at her before taking her lower lip in between mine so I could suck on it. I too was enjoying this examination...


	18. Chapter 17 Anniversaries and Suspicion

Chapter 17! I'm almost getting to where I want to, I promise.

Once again thank you toIrebporti for being my BETA. You are a great help!

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Chapter 17 – Anniversaries and Suspicions

BPOV

I woke up with the sunlight creeping into the room and casting over my face. A quick glance to the clock, standing on the nightstand. It was 11 am.

I had stayed in bed, sleeping until later than I was used to.

I guess since Edward and I hadn't actually slept much had something to do with it. It turned out Edward was a very through examiner. I had to let him play doctor more often if it meant he'd to do the things he did to me last night again.

I smiled at my recollections of last night and rolled to the side in search of his warm body. My search was useless, though. I was alone in bed.

Knowing Edward couldn't be far; I sat up in bed and wrapped the sheets around my naked body with the intent of getting up and searching for him.

I didn't even have to, though. Edward came in the room just when I was about to leave the bed.

He was shirtless and his boxers laid low on his hips, giving me a very good view of his body. His hair was sticking out in every direction and I already wanted to run my fingers through it. Sex hair.

I smiled up at him as he walked towards me. He sat down next to me and kissed my cheek while handing me a little cake with a candle on it.

"Happy first year anniversary!" He said. I giggled looking at the candle.

"Are you seriously giving me a little cake for our anniversary?"

"Yes..."

"I don't think we're supposed to have a cake for this. Aren't cakes only for birthdays?" He shrugged and smiled.

"In my opinion cakes are for whenever we want!" He explained. I smiled at him and moved to kiss his cheek.

"How cute are you?"

"I'm very cute!"

"And cocky too, I see!" He chuckled while moving closer to me and urging me to take a bite off the cake.

"Come on. It's probably not half as good as one of yours but it can't be that bad." I took a bite of the cake and it was actually good.

Edward stood there, watching me as I ate the cake. I gave him a piece and he purposely bit my finger when I did. I kept it all for myself. That'll teach him.

When I finished I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He was too quiet. There was something on his mind, I knew.

"How are you feeling today?" He asked.

"I'm great."

"Really? No more dizziness, morning sickness or tiredness?" I shook my head. "You don't feel like eating anything in particular? Any cramps?" I shook my head again and furrowed my brow. Where was he getting at?

"No, I'm fine. Why?" He shrugged his shoulders and moved one of his hands to my stomach so he could caress it.

"I was just wondering..." His eyes travelled down to my stomach.

"What?" He slowly raised his eyes and shrugged again.

"Do you think that you've been feeling sick because you're pregnant?" I ran over his words one more time… then I freaked out a little bit. I loved Edward, I had no doubt about that, and I did want to spent the rest of my life with him and maybe even start a family together one day. But not now...

I wasn't ready to be a mother. I didn't know how to take care of a little person. I would end up screwing things up and hurting everyone.

I just couldn't be pregnant. I would know if I was, right? I only had felt sick yesterday and I hadn't missed my period.

I wasn't pregnant!

I suddenly noticed Edward was still running his hand up and down my stomach and I knew I couldn't let him hope for a baby right now.

"I don't think I am, Edward. I mean, I'm on the pill and my period has been very regular..." He simply nodded but kept running his hand up and down my stomach.

I could clearly see it on his face and by the way he kept caressing my stomach that having a baby was something he wanted. He wanted to be a father, he might even be ready now, and I knew he would be a great dad. He, unlike many men, wasn't freaking out at the idea of getting his girlfriend pregnant. He, unlike me, would know how to take care of a baby...

I placed my hand on his face and ran my fingers along his cheek and perfectly defined jaw.

"Don't do that, Edward." I suddenly felt a little sad for him, for crushing any hopes he had but I needed more time.

"Don't do what?"

"Don't get your hopes up because I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant."

"I know, but it would be nice..." I kissed his face and then lay back down on my back as he moved to kiss my stomach and then lay down beside me. I had to confess that, at least, it made me happy to know he truly wanted to have a family with me.

He nuzzled my neck and whispered in my ear.

"One day."

"I'm not ready yet, Edward."

"I know. That's why I said one day. Besides, I want to do this the right way. I want to make you mine first." I raised an eyebrow at him as he rolled to the side so he could throw an arm over my midsection. I thought it was more than clear I was already his.

"I am yours." He smiled brightly at me and kissed my cheek.

"I know. What I meant was I want to marry you first. I want to make you my wife." He could immediately tell that my muscles had tensed and moved to kiss my cheek again. Apparently today is big discussion day. "Relax, love. I'm not asking you to marry me today. This is just a fair warning. I'm simply letting you know that someday soon I will ask you to be my wife. And I'm hoping your answer will be yes."

"Isn't what we have a marriage already? We do everything married couples do and more! We live together, we eat together, we spend time with one another, we sleep together and we make love every night!"

"Exactly! That's why you shouldn't be so afraid of it. Nothing will change just because we signed a paper." He was right, of course. Nothing would change between us. I had to stop being so afraid of marriage.

As much as I loved Renee I had to understand she was wrong about this. Marriage didn't have to change your relationship for the worse. It could even change it for the better; make it stronger, especially if you were marrying an amazing man like Edward.

I moved my hand so I could touch his face and smiled.

"I love you, you know that?" He kissed my palm and smiled.

"Yes. I love you too. You have no idea of how much."

"I think I do." I pulled him closer to me so he could lie on top of me and I could kiss his lips.

His hands immediately started to roam my body and I wrapped myself around him and nibbled on his neck.

Before I could take his lower lip in between mine and suck on it, he pulled back.

"Wait Bella, wait!" I unwillingly stopped my attack on him so I could find out what was wrong.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong." He placed a light kiss on my lips and went on. "I just want to give you something first."

"Give me something?" I couldn't seem to think straight.

"Yes, your first year anniversary present."

"Oh, yes! I actually have something for you too." He got off bed as I sat down, wrapping the sheet more securely around me. I watched as he moved around the room and gathered the stereo and something else.

He placed the stereo on the nightstand and sat down next to me, giving me a rectangular, light present.

"Come on, open it." I quickly opened the present he had given me, revealing a CD.

"A CD?"

"Yes." He took the CD from me and put it in the stereo he had placed on the nightstand. "I actually wanted to play it for you but as there is no piano here I decided to record it."

I furrowed my brow, wondering what this was all about but my expression quickly changed to one of wonder as the soft sound of a piano being played filled the room.

I could immediately tell it was Edward playing and smiled softly. He played beautiful and had played that for me.

I had seen and heard him play the piano a million times but it was different this time. The soft lullaby was beautiful and the knowledge that he had taken the time to play and record it for me brought tears to my eyes.

He touched my face and wiped away a tear that had fallen down my cheek. I reached to touch his cheek and he leaned in to kiss my lips softly.

I could barely feel his lips on mine but the intimacy of it sent a shiver down my spine.

When we pulled back he lightly ran his fingers along my face and smiled.

"It's beautiful, Edward."

"You think so?" I nodded which of course was not even a good enough gesture to express just how much I liked it. "You inspired it."

"You wrote it for me?" He nodded as a new wave of emotion hit me and new tears started to form in my eyes.

I stood very still for several minutes while listening to my lullaby before Edward spoke again. I still couldn't believe something so beautiful could have been inspired by me.

"I have something else for you." I watched as he picked a rectangular velvet box up and placed it on my lap. I didn't know what it was but by the look of it, it was jewelry of some kind. Too expensive.

"Edward, the lullaby is more than enough. I can't..." He silenced me with a quick kiss.

"I know, but I saw this and immediately thought of you. Please don't say you can't accept it. I want you to have it," he explained.

I took a deep breath and nodded.

"What is it?" I asked. He shook his head and gestured for me to open the present. I did and found myself looking at a beautiful necklace. A blue crystal hung from it.

"It's beautiful. Thank you. You didn't have to do it." I ran my hand over it, smiling despite myself.

"I wanted too. As I said, I saw it and thought of you."

"It really is beautiful..." He reached for it and made me move a little so he could put it on me. He then ran his hands down my arms and placed several light kisses on my shoulder.

"It looks good on you." He assured me. I smiled at him and moved so I could kiss his lips. Even thought, I felt it was too much I did like my presents. Especially my lullaby, because it was something he had done for me.

Remembering I hadn't given him his present yet, I pulled back and I reached for it.

I handed it to him and waited for his reaction.

"It's nothing special but I thought you would like it." I watched as he ripped the paper, revealing the music notebook I had bought for him. It was nothing special, especially in comparison to the gifts he had given me but I thought it was fitting for him.

He smiled brightly at me and leaned in to place a soft kiss on my lips.

"Thank you, love."

"You're welcome. Do you like it?" He smiled again and then took our presents and placed them on the nightstand.

He then lay down on his back and gestured for me to lie on his arms. I did and cuddled in his arms.

"Yes, I do. Besides, I already have the best present possible here in my arms." I rested my head on his chest and threw an arm over his midsection as he started to play with the strands of my hair.

We stood quiet for a while, simply enjoying each other's company.

"This is so good." I felt him nod and wrap his arms more strongly around me. "I wish we could just stay here, like this."

"We still have the rest of the day and tomorrow."

"I know, but..." I simply shrugged, not finishing my sentence. I knew he understood me anyway.

"I know, love. I wish we could stay here too. If we didn't have to go back I swear I would keep you here forever. I think I wouldn't even let you get out of this bed!" I giggled and kissed his chest as he went on. "It would actually be really nice not having to leave..." He ran his hand down my side to my ass. His hand squeezed.

"We would have to leave eventually, you know? We have to eat after all! We'd have to go to the supermarket..."

"Ah, screw the supermarket! I can just go hunt. I'm sure there's something edible in the woods here." I couldn't help but to laugh at that. Seeing Edward do that would be quite a sight.

"Hunting! You would do it because it's a manly thing to do, right?" He chuckled and nodded.

"Of course!" I laughed and moved so I could straddle his lap.

I ran my hands up his chest as he moved his to my thighs and then leaned in to kiss his jaw and neck. He placed several light kisses on the skin there as he moved his hands up and down my legs.

The sheets were still wrapped around me didn't allow me to move freely so I untangled it from around my body and threw it to the side. Edward immediately moved his hands down my now exposed stomach and moved them to my waist.

"You know, I love the fact that you haven't put on any clothes today."

"Well I don't see the point of getting dressed when you're around!" I explained. "You'd just find a way of getting me naked again." He smiled crookedly and winked at me.

"Did that just sound like a complaint, Ms Swan?" I smiled back at him and ran my hand up his chest.

"Not at all. I love that very specific personality trait of yours." He chuckled again and before I even knew what was happening, I was lying on my back with him comfortably cradled between my opened legs.

EPOV

Bella and I spent most of the day in bed, just like I had planned, and only when we were absolutely hungry did we get up.

We cooked something simple and after we were done eating, we cuddled in front of the fireplace just like we had done last night.

The fact that Bella hadn't even bothered to put on anything but one of my t-shirts pleased me immensely. I could run my hands up and down her legs and feel her smooth skin. I could feel her warm body completely pressed against mine.

The fact that she had felt sick yesterday hadn't left my mind yet. Sudden throwing up and dizziness that suddenly went away were tell-tale signs of pregnancy. Of course, I could be jumping the gun here. It could be something else… even nothing at all.

She could just be stressed or could have eaten something that didn't agree with her, like she had said but still...

I knew she was on the pill but besides that we hadn't been very careful and we surely had been extremely active so there was always that possibility.

Then again maybe I was just thinking wishfully. I had never given the idea of being a father much thought before this but now I realized that I would love it. I would love to have a baby with Bella.

She wasn't ready for it, though. I knew that perfectly well and maybe this wasn't the best time but if she was indeed pregnant, I would do my best to take care of her and our baby. I would show her she would be a great mother. I would make sure she knew she would do an amazing job.

We could raise a happy, little family together.

While thinking about this I almost unconsciously started to run my hand up and down her flat stomach again. I guess this was something I wished for more than I knew...

We hadn't said anything since we had sat down and she was the first one to break the comfortable silence.

"I forgot to tell you but the owner of this cultural magazine called home yesterday wanting to talk to you. You weren't home so I gave him your cell phone number. Did he manage to get in touch with you?"

"Oh, yeah... he did." That had completely passed from my mind.

"What did he want?"

"He offered me a job as director of his magazine." She moved a little in order to look at me and smiled.

"That's great, Edward!" I shrugged. It could be great if it didn't have its downside.

"Yes, but I would have to move to L.A"

"Oh..." She was silent for a few seconds and like so many times before I wished I could read her mind. "You said no?"

"I did," I said and nodded.

"Why?"

"Because my whole life is in New York. I have a job I like there. My family is there and so are you." I kissed her temple and wrapped my arms more strongly around her. No job was more important than her. "Besides, he said they were opening a branch of the magazine in New York in about two years and if I still want it, the job will be mine then."

"I could go with you, if you want."

"Really?" She nodded. It was good to know that she was willing to do that for me but I didn't want to go. "What about your job?"

"I can work from home." She could... but our whole lives were in New York. My family and our friends were there. I just couldn't just let all of that behind.

"Thank you love, but I want to stay."

"Really?"

"Yes, but thank you for offering. I love you." She smiled at me and moved so she was resting her head on my shoulder again.

"I love you too and if you change your mind, I really am okay with going." I nodded and kissed her temple.

I wasn't going anywhere any time soon.


	19. Chapter 18 Interruptions and Answers

So, thanks to Irebporti for helping me again!

Warning: There's a lemon in the beginning of this chapter! (yes, they are going at it like bunnies but with Edward who wouldn't?)

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**Chapter 18 ****– Interruptions and Answers**

BPOV

On Sunday morning I woke up feeling slightly sick again.

I debated what to do for a second since I didn't want to wake Edward up and have the whole pregnancy talk again, but decided I really had to get up and go to the bathroom.

I very slowly moved his arm from around me and managed to get out of bed without waking him up. I was quite proud of myself

I hurried to the bathroom and soon found myself throwing up.

What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I feeling sick again? Had I eaten something that didn't agree with me again?

I knew this could mean Edward was right but I kept trying to chase that thought away as I stood looking at myself in the mirror.

Could he be right though?

I suddenly found myself wishing that there was some kind of pharmacy near here where I could buy a damned pregnancy test and get it over with.

Unfortunately there wasn't and I was going to schedule a doctor's appointment for as soon as possible anyway. I would just have to wait for it.

I was still almost completely sure I wasn't pregnant.

When I got back to bed, after brushing my teeth and making sure I was okay, I was surprised to notice Edward was still sleeping. He was usually a very light sleeper and always woke up before I did.

I lay on my side so I could look at him and run my fingers through his messy hair. He mumbled something incomprehensive and moved closer to me.

He threw his arm over my midsection again and pulled me to his chest, allowing me to cuddle there.

I stayed in that position, running my fingers through his hair and breathing in his smell until he finally woke up and made me move so I was lying on top of him.

I kissed his neck a few times as he fully woke up and then smiled at him.

"Did you sleep well?" He nodded while wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in for a kiss.

"I certainly did. What about you?" I simply nodded, opting not to tell him about this morning's incident.

He didn't give me much of a chance to think about it again as well. I felt much better already anyway…

He attacked me with kisses and caresses and when he managed to take my top off and started playing with my bare breasts, I could feel that his morning erection was alive and well.

I smiled to myself. I liked to know I was able to still do that to him.

Without ever letting go of my breasts or stopping to leave kisses on my neck he sat down in bed with me on his lap and leaned in so he could take my left nipple in his mouth.

I immediately ran my hands up his bare chest to his hair, thinking that I definitely enjoyed it when he woke up like this.

We stayed in that position for a while as he lavished attention to my breasts, making me moan and writhe in his arms, before he made us move again so I was lying in my back with him hovering over me.

He ran his hands up my legs, stopping at my thighs and hitching my legs up so I could wrap them around his waist.

I did and his hands immediately travelled up. He stopped them at the waistband on my panties for a second but then continued his journey up my sides, until he was cupping my breasts again.

I grabbed onto his shoulders and bucked my hips in his direction making him moan and lean in to nibble on my lower lip.

I loved his foreplay but I needed more so I bucked my hips again, looking for that delicious friction with his hard erection.

He let go of me when I did and pulled back so he was looking at me. He placed his hands on the mattress, on each side of me so he could hold his weight as his eyes travelled up at down my almost naked body.

I smiled to myself. It was funny how I was actually comfortable with him doing that.

He had seen me naked countless times so maybe that had something to do with me not feeling completely uncomfortable and awkward. He was actually able to make me feel good with myself.

When his eyes locked with mine, I could see them shine with something I recognized as being want and lust.

He wanted me as much as I wanted him and he liked me to know it.

"You are so beautiful," Edward said. I moaned and he leaned in to take my earlobe in his mouth and nibble on it. "You are. I want you so much."

"Show me." I heard him chuckle but couldn't think about it because he immediately started to kiss and lick down my neck to the valley between my breasts.

He took my left nipple in his mouth and sucked on it, letting go of it right after to whisper.

"I will." His warm breath on my wet nipple made it harden ever more and a shiver run down my spine.

He made me unwrap my legs from around his waist and let his hands linger in my inner thighs for a few seconds, letting me know I was expected to leave my legs open.

He then started to kiss, lick and nibble down my stomach like he knew I liked it. That action alone was enough to reduce me to moans and make the wetness between my legs increase.

He run his tongue from one of my hipbones to the other, just above the waistband of my panties and then looked up at me and smirked.

He knelt down on bed beside me and hooked his fingers under the waistband of my panties, pulling them down my legs.

I opened my legs again for him. I needed him already.

He seemed to like that because he immediately moved so he was kneeling between them and started to kiss up my legs.

He placed light kisses on each of my legs while slowly – almost too slowly – making his way to where I knew was his intended destination.

When his lips reached the inside of my thigh, I couldn't resist anymore and gripped his hair in an attempt to tell him I wanted him to hurry up.

He understood what I wanted when I moved my hips in his direction, but he just chuckled and kept on provoking me by lightly nibbling the skin on the inside of my thighs. I hated it when he chuckled at me like that when I was in this situation – hot and ready for him…

He placed his hands on my waist to stop me from writhing beneath him and so he could go on with his frustrating yet pleasurable teasing.

I couldn't wait to have him lavishing attention to another part of my body other than my thighs.

He kept getting closer to my center and I could already feel his warm breath there, making me arch my back off the bed and whimper in anticipation of what I knew was to come.

In that exact moment, when his mouth was so near to where I wanted – needed — my cell phone rang making him stop and me screaming in frustration.

Worst timing ever!

I contemplated the thought of not picking it up but whoever was calling just didn't give up.

I rolled onto my stomach so I could grab the cell phone, standing on the nightstand and looked at it. It was Alice, of course.

I picked it up; decided that whatever she had to tell me could wait.

"Hey Alice. I'm sorry but I'm really busy right now with something very interesting so can you please call me later?" She immediately understood.

"Oh, I see. Sorry, I'll call you later. Have fun!" I hang the phone up and placed it on the nightstand again.

I was about to turn around when I felt Edward's hands on me, keeping me in place.

"Now, this is a very interesting position you got yourself into Ms. Swan." I giggled but decided to play dumb, even though I knew perfectly well where this was going.

"Is it?"

"Yes, it definitely is." He ran his hands up my thighs to my ass and then I could feel his lips leaving a trail of kisses up my spine.

When he reached my neck he put some of his weight on top of me, allowing me to feel his erection brush against my thigh.

I allowed him to kiss me and then move beneath him, making our bodies brush and hearing him groan.

He took my earlobe in his mouth and sucked on it before whispering.

"I want to take you in this position." I smiled to myself.

"Do you, now?"

"Very much so." I suddenly felt him get up and moved a little just in time to see him getting rid of his boxers and then keeling back down in bed.

He ran his hand up my leg again before speaking. His voice was low and it sent a shiver down my spine.

"Get on your hands and knees for me, love." I gladly would but I had to tease him a little first.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I know you enjoy this position as much as I do." He leaned in and placed a light kiss on my lower back as I started to move.

"It's not the position in specific that I like." I stood on my knees and hands and moved my hips back, feeling him brush against me. "What I like is having you making love with me, no matter the position."

"Let me see if I got this straight…" His hands moved to my ass and he squeezed it. "You enjoy having me inside of you, despite the position you're in?"

"Yes." I could swear he had growled and then I could feel his hand connecting with my ass.

He didn't use too much force but I wasn't expecting it so I ended up jumping and laughing at my own reaction.

"I think that makes you a naughty girl, Ms. Swan." His hand connected with my ass again, making me moan this time.

"I guess it does but it's your entire fault!" He leaned in to kiss the spot his hand had just slapped and then positioned himself behind me.

He gripped my waist and pulled me towards him, entering me slowly. Painfully slow…

We both moaned when he was completely inside of me and started to run his hand up and down my spine.

"I too enjoy being inside of you, love. But, of course, you knew that already." He moved his hand back to my waist and started to move slowly in and out of me.

When I bucked my hips back in his direction his rhythm increased, making me grip the sheets beneath me.

I let out a loud moan every time he filled me completely and he seemed to like the sound of it immensely.

I could feel that knot in my stomach growing quickly with every fast thrust of his.

Every time he pulled back and move back inside of me, he did it harder and faster making me gasp and practically scream his name.

I could hear him groan when my muscles started to clench around him and after one more thrust I could feel release taking over me completely.

I screamed his name loudly and my release triggered his own and I could immediately feel him grip my waist a little tighter as we rode the waves of our releases.

Then my body went limp and feel on bed with him by my side.

We didn't say anything to each other but he did smile at me and opened his arms so I could lay in them

I lay comfortably in Edward's arms for a few hours after but then had to unwillingly get up when it started to get darker.

We, unfortunately, couldn't stay here forever…

--

The day after Edward and I came back home I scheduled a doctor's appointment but the chance of being pregnant still plagued my mind so when Edward went to work I went out to buy a home pregnancy test.

I played around with it for what seemed like hours, trying to gain the courage to take it.

I was very nervous…

What if I really was pregnant? I didn't think I was but if I indeed was, what would I do? Would I be able to deal with it?

With a deep breath I decided that I had to do the damn test to find. I would worry about it if the result was positive.

I walked into the bathroom and followed the instructions.

I had just placed the stick on the bathroom balcony when someone knocked on my door. I had two minutes…

Talk about timing!

When I opened the door Alice was standing on the other side, smiling widely at me. Of course it would be her, she always had the worse timing ever…

"Don't you work?" She rolled her eyes at me and waved her hands in front of her.

"It's my day off. Let me in." I let her walk in and closed the door behind her.

"What are you doing? You seem slightly nervous and jumpy!" I didn't think I had done anything to indicate I was but that was just how Alice was. She knew me too well…

I walked into the living room and looked at the clock. One more minute.

"I'm waiting for the result of a medical test…" Alice furrowed her brow.

"Here in your house?"

"Yes." I was suddenly feeling even more nervous than before.

"Is the doctor calling you with the results?"

"No, not with this one anyway."

"Okay! I'm not following you, Bella." One more glance at the clock let me know I had 30 seconds.

"This is a test you can do home."

"What kind of test can you do at home besides a pregnancy…" Her eyes widened visibly and she took several steps in my direction. "Are you pregnant, Bella?" I immediately raised my hands in the air, stopping her.

"No, I'm not! I mean, I don't think I am but I felt sick and Edward seems to think there's that chance so…" I still thought it was a farfetched possibility but it was indeed possible.

Alice picked on my hesitation and nodded.

"Do you want to be pregnant?"

"No. I mean…" I took a deep breath and started to walk to the bathroom with Alice behind me. "I don't think I'm ready. Taking care of a baby takes a lot of work and I don't think I'll be able to do that now."

I glanced at the where the stick was but didn't immediately pick it up.

"What does Edward say about this?"

"He actually likes the idea of me being pregnant…" Alice nodded and then looked at the pregnancy test.

"Do you want me to look for you?" I shook my head.

"No, I'll do it." I picked the test up and took a deep breath before looking at it.

It was as if a wave of calm suddenly hit me. Negative… I wasn't pregnant.

"Bella?" I looked at Alice and shrugged.

"It's negative." I still had a long way to go and a lot of growing up to do until I was ready to take care of a little person so I felt relieved.

One day I would be ready and happy when the test is positive. For now, I had to deal with myself.

I somehow still felt I was crushing Edward's hopes.

"Good."

"Yes. It's funny I feel relieve but at the same time is as if I am letting Edward down."

"Don't be silly, Bella. You know it's not like that. Just because Edward told you he would actually like it if you were pregnant it doesn't mean anything will change because you aren't. He loved you and he just wants you to know that when the time comes, when you're ready, he will be happy to start a family with you." I smiled at Alice, knowing she was right and moved so I could hug her.

"When did you become so wise, Alice?" She huffed.

"I always was. You just don't always listen to me."

"Right…"

"Come on, let's raid your fridge. I'm hungry!" I laughed and followed her to the kitchen. She was as bad as Emmett when she was hungry. Absolutely nothing got in her way!

--

I spent the rest of the afternoon after Alice left me, walking around the apartment and looking at the clock.

It was stupid to feel this anxious but I needed to tell Edward about the result of that pregnancy test and I didn't want to do it by phone.

I needed to be able to look at him and see in his face and eyes if he really wasn't disappointed or sad at me.

Rationally I knew he wouldn't because he knew I wasn't ready and we also both knew we had time for that but the least rational side of me kept thinking that maybe he was still hopeful.

I knew we had not made plans for a baby yet but he liked children and he seemed to want to be a father. He would be happy if I was pregnant.

Would he be sad to know I wasn't?

All my thoughts were stopped when I heard him open the door of our apartment just after 7 p.m. and call for me.

"Love?" With a deep breath I walked to the living room where he was standing and smiled nervously at him. "Hi."

"Hey." I watched as she placed his keys on the table and suddenly felt the need to tell him I had done the pregnancy test right away. "I couldn't wait for tomorrow so I did a home pregnancy test today." He calmly took his coat off and placed it on the chair and looked straight at me.

"And?" I placed my hands in the pockets of my jeans and shrugged.

"I'm not pregnant." He nodded and walked towards me, wrapping his arms around me.

I placed my hands on his chest and looked up at him in an attempt to judge his reaction.

"Okay." I allowed him to kiss my lips once but when we pulled back I made him look at me again.

"Are you sad?" He smiled at me and leaned in to kiss me once more.

"No. I would be happy if you were pregnant but there's no hurry. We have time and we'll think about it when you're ready." I smiled brightly at him, finally feeling as relieved as possible.

"I promise that you'll be the first one to know when I'm ready."

"I better be!" I rolled my eyes at him and pulled him down for another kiss as he wrapped his arms more strongly around me.

He turned his attention to my neck and I immediately titled my head to the side in order to give him a better access to it.

My hands immediately travelled up to his hair and I tangled my fingers in it as he nibbled on my earlobe and then my jaw.

"You know what?" He moved so he could whisper in my ear, making me shiver.

"What?"

"I think we should train this whole baby making thing a little. Just so when the time comes we can make it perfect." I had to laugh at his words as his hands moved down to my ass, lifting me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist.

"I don't think we need that much training, Mr. Cullen."

"Oh, you know there's no such thing as too much training." I giggled and lean in to kiss his neck.

"In that case…" I sucked the skin on his neck, making him groan. "Take me to the bedroom, Mr. Cullen"

"With pleasure." He took me to the bedroom and laid me down on bed, joining me shortly after.


	20. Chapter 19 Black Holes and Revelations

This chapter is a small one because it's all about the next one. I hope you still like it.

Thanks to Irebporti, as always, for helping me!

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**Chapter 19 ****– Black Holes and Revelations**

**BPOV**

I went to the doctor as I had promised Edward I would and did the full check up I that was way overdue.

The doctor said there seemed to be nothing wrong with me but promised he would call me when the results of the exams were ready.

I was sitting on my couch, with a book on my lap and listening to Edward play the piano when he called.

I got up walked to phone, passing by Edward and not resisting the urge to run a hand through his still wet hair on the process. He looked too cute when he was just out of the shower.

I picked the phone up of its third ring.

"Hello?"

"Miss Swan, how are you? This is Doctor Jackson. I'm calling about the results of your exams." He really wasn't kidding when he said I would hear from him soon.

"I'm fine, thank you. My exams are ready already?"

"Yes, I just got them about an hour ago." Doctor Jackson was a great doctor but I sometimes hated it how he always took his time before telling me whatever it was he had to tell.

"And is everything alright with me? Or is there a problem?" It took him a second to answer me.

"Well, first I have to tell you that you feeling sick isn't actually an immediate symptom of anything. As you know, you are not pregnant." I didn´t understand the reticence I could hear in his voice. It seemed like good news to me.

"That's good, right?"

"Yes, it is. However we did find something in your check-up." Everything he said from that point on was a complete blur for me.

All I knew was that while he told me exactly what was wrong with my exams my heart fell to the ground and I lost all the ability to think straight.

I did manage to agree to meet with the doctor as soon as possible so he could tell me what was going to happen for now on. What I should do.

As I slowly placed the phone down, I turned to look at Edward who was still playing and felt the tears forming in my eyes.

There was a knot in my throat that I just couldn't seem to get rid of.

What did this mean to Edward? I thought I knew the answer to that and I didn't like it one bit.

I took a deep breath to steady myself and shook my head. I couldn't start crying now.

If I told him everything, Edward would stand by me. I knew that perfectly well. He would help me through this but did I want him to do that? Did I want him to give up so much?

I didn't know. I didn't know if I could be that selfish.

I walked towards him and wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my chin on the top of his head. He immediately stopped playing and covered my hands with his, turning his head to the side so he could kiss my arm once.

"Was that the doctor?" I cleared my throat once, making sure I was able to speak.

"Yes."

"And? Is everything ok?" It took me a moment to decide what I wanted to tell him.

"Yes, I probably just ate something that didn't fully agree with me."

"Really?"

"Yes. Why?" Was I being so obvious? I knew he could always easily read me but he couldn't guess things like this…

"Nothing, I'm just taking care of you. I'm glad you are alright, love." He lifted my right hand and placed a kiss on the palm as I tried my best to smile.

I would also be glad if that was true, but it wasn't. Not everything was exactly well…

"Keep playing please, Edward." He did as I asked him, opting to play my lullaby as I took several deep breaths to calm myself down.

Not even the lullaby was enough to keep me calm. All I could think about was what the doctor had said.

It seemed like my dizziness and feeling sick didn't truly mean anything. I had probably just eaten something that hadn't agreed with me the doctor had said.

On the other hand, my full checkup had revealed that not everything was exactly well with me. I was sick and didn't know how to deal with it.

What did you do when you get news like that? Was I supposed to put on a brave façade or just break down and cry like I actually wanted to?

I tried to stop thinking about what the doctor had toll me and tried to focus only on Edward. Concentrate on the movement of his hands, running along the keys of the piano or on the way he threw his head to the side as the music went on.

As he kept playing, I moved to sit down beside him and took the chance to memorize every inch of his face.

He looked so relaxed, so at ease while he was playing. He looked simply perfect.

I ran my hand lightly along his face, brushing a fallen strand of his hair away. He smiled at me but never stopped playing.

While standing there watching him play I realized that I already knew the answer to my question.

Could I do this to him? Could I stand by and watch as Edward took care of me, helped me through an illness I didn't know how would end? Could I stand by and watch as he gave up on his dreams and opportunities just to make sure I was alright? I couldn't.

I could never do that.

I couldn't keep him tied down to me anymore. Not now that I didn't know what was going to happen. Not now that he had the opportunity of starting and even better life.

Not now that he was getting so many good job offers and could finally start the career of his dreams.

He deserved better. He shouldn't have to take care of me. He shouldn't have to put his life on hold because of me. I wouldn't let him do that.

I had made my decision. All I had to do know was find a way of sticking to it.

I always went through with my decisions, right? I had to find a way of being brave enough to let go…

--

I stood there on the living room watching Edward play his piano for about another hour or so and then went to take a shower.

I stood quiet as the warm water hit my muscles and only got out when the hot water was about to run out.

I had just put one of shirts on and gotten under the covers when Edward joined me in the bedroom. I was glad when he did so. It might be silly but I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him while I could.

I watched as he took his shirt and pants off, allowing my eyes to run along every line of his body and then smiled when he jumped into bed with me.

He immediately wrapped his arms around me, pressing our chests together. His body was so comfortably warm my immediately melted into it.

I ran a hand up his chest to his soft hair and tangled my fingers in it, making him sigh and move to place a light kiss on the tip of my nose.

We stood in that position, looking at each other for a few minutes as I lightly run my fingers along his hair and face. I wanted to never forget how good he looked right know.

I wanted to be able to remember being in bed, simply looking at him, for as long as I could. I wanted to remember how good it felt to be in his arms when I no longer had the chance to do it.

I wanted to never forget anything about him, no matter how insignificant it might be. I didn't want to forget how he could look into my eyes and make me feel like he was reading my mind or how his crooked smile always made my heart skip a beat.

I wanted to remember him…

Suddenly without me even fully realizing it, he had made us move so I was lying on my back with him hovering over me.

I smiled up at him and sighed. This was our ritual every night.

Making love before falling asleep in his arms was, undeniably, my favorite moment of the day.

He took my lower lip in between his while slowly running his hands up and down my sides and I couldn't help but to sigh again at the feeling.

He could make me melt with so little effort…

I wanted to be able to stop thinking and simply enjoy all the feelings he made come alive but just couldn't seem to truly be able to.

I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck and allowed him to kiss me, touch me and tease me like he wanted as I willed myself to simply enjoy it. Enjoy the feeling of his body pressed against mine, enjoy the way his hair tickled my neck when he was lavishing attention to it or simply take pleasure in his intoxicating taste.

He was always able to make me stop thinking with the lightest of touches or with simply a look so why couldn't I stop thinking now? Why did I kept thinking that I was about to ruin his life if I couldn't be strong enough?

When he started to kiss down my neck to my chest I knew that no matter how much I truly wanted it – how much I enjoyed it - I had to stop. My mind was running faster than I thought it was possible and Edward didn't deserve it.

He deserved me to be completely invested on making love with him, like I normally always was.

He deserved to be the only thought that ran through my mind while we were together like this.

I placed both my hands on his chest and with a deep breath pulled him back.

He immediately stopped to look down at me with a worried expression on his face. I guess his reaction was normal. I never pulled him back in a situation like this, after all.

Most of the times I just gladly complied with his attacks. Or was the one doing the attacking myself…

"What is it, love? Are you ok?"

"Yes. I'm just a little tired." I ran my fingers along his face and smiled.

I knew he wouldn't push me and I was glad for that. I truly couldn't make love with him when I had so much on my mind, when I was feeling so unworthy of his love.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm just not…" He silenced me by placing a finger on my lips and smiling down at me.

"That's ok, my love. We can do this any other time." He leaned in to softly kiss my lips before rolling to the side. "Come here."

He took me in his arms, allowing me to cuddle in his chest.

"Are you comfortable like this, my love?" I simply nodded. I was comfortable… "Do you want me to go pick something up for you? Is your head hurting too much?"

I wrapped my arms a little more strongly around him and gripped his shirt. I didn't want him to go anywhere now.

Even though we were not making love right now, I wanted to have him as close as possible to me.

"No, thank you. I just want to stay like this with you." I moved to place a light kiss on his chest and whispered. "I'll be just fine…"

One of his hands began to play with the strands of my hair and the other to move up and down my back at the same time as he started to hum a soft lullaby.

The way he was treating me only made me more aware of how truly amazing he was. Of how selfless and caring he could be. I had just denied him sex and he was taking care of me…

Once again not even the sound of his voice, humming my lullaby was enough to make me relax and fall asleep this time.

I kept thinking of all the things that had been happening lately. Things that clearly told me I had a choice to make, that I couldn't keep holding Edward back.

All the signs were so obvious! How couldn't I have seen them before?

First there was Tanya, who made me realize how truly inadequate I was for Edward. Not that I thought someone like her deserved Edward but neither did I. No matter what he said, he could do much better than me.

The ideal person for him was probably out there somewhere. I was just fooling myself – living a dream - when I thought that person could be me.

Secondly there was that job in L.A he wouldn't take. I knew I wasn't the only reason he didn't accept the job and I also knew he knew I was willing to go with him if necessary but something told me he didn't take that job because he didn't want to change anything.

He wanted things between us to remain as they were.

And then there were those damn test results…

Yes, I knew what I had to do and maybe, just maybe, I could extract some courage from the fact that it was the right thing to do.

My decision was, indeed, made and I could not go back anymore. It wouldn't be fair for me and it certainly wouldn't be fair for Edward.

I was selfish though, so I did allow myself to lie securely in Edward's arms for the rest of the night.

I didn't sleep but simply relished on the feeling of having Edward's warm body pressed against mine and his arms wrapped around me. I concentrated on the movement of his chest as he breathed in and out and on how his sweet smell surrounded me as the night went on.

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And now I'm going to go hide somewhere for a while...


	21. Chapter 20 Break You, Break Me

So here's chapter 20. I hope you like it.

Thanks to Irebporti!

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**Chapte****r 20 – Break you, break me**

BPOV

I had talked to the doctor and chosen my treatment. He didn't fully agree with me but I didn't want an invasive treatment. At least not for now.

I was well aware I would have to do it if I started to show any symptoms but while that didn't happen I would try to act normally.

I would go on with my life. No one had to know about it until it was absolutely necessary. I wouldn't make any changes for now. I would keep everything as it was.

Well, almost everything…

I had made my mind up when it came to Edward. There was no turning back now.

I knew I was doing the right thing. I couldn't keep Edward tied up to me, we just couldn't be together anymore.

I kept repeating those words over and over in my mind trying to get myself to, at least once in my life, be brave enough to do what I had to do.

I tried to work for a while but gave up on that shortly. I couldn't concentrate long enough to write anything that could be used. I would have to spend some serious hours in front of the computer, writing my reviews soon enough or I was going to get fired.

I guess I was about to have a lot of free time in my hands after today. I probably just wouldn't want to do anything…

It was almost funny how I knew exactly what I was about to do and what it meant to me. I knew it would break me but I was still invested in doing it.

It was the right thing to do, I had to remember that!

I spent the day pacing around the apartment, trying to decide if I should pack my things or not and trying to prepare myself to when Edward got home.

I ended up not packing any of my things since, for some reason, I couldn't get myself to do it just yet.

And when Edward came into the house after 7pm, I realized that I was not completely ready for it either.

I didn't walk to the door when I heard him open it. I just remained frozen in the living room, looking down at my shaking hands.

"Love?" His voice made a shiver run down my body and I suddenly wanted to cry.

Why did he always have to greet me like that?

I had to be strong. I couldn't cry, so I took a deep breath in order to control myself as he came into the living room and smiled at me.

He looked so breathtakingly perfect, with his crooked smile and tousled hair that I almost lost all my courage right there and then when I saw him.

When he – in a more than familiar gesture – took a step towards me though, I found myself taking a step back. A confused expression crossed his face.

It was now or never.

"Don't call me that." My voice sounded somewhat strange to me but I didn't allow myself to think about it.

"Don't call you what? Love?"

"Yes."

"Why? I always call you that…" He sounded worried and confused, maybe even a little lost…

"I know. I want you to stop doing it because I don't want to hear it anymore. I can't handle it!"

"What's wrong, Bella?" I took a deep breath, without ever taking my eyes from my hands clasped in front of me.

"What's wrong is that I came to the conclusion that I don't want to do this anymore."

"This what?"

"You and me…." He stood quiet for a second and I had to fight against the urge to look at him and see what emotion was playing there in his eyes.

When he did speak, his words made my whole body shake.

"Are you seeing someone else?" I looked up at him for a second before turning my attention back to my hands.

He seemed calm but I knew that was just a façade.

"Of course not, Edward! You know I wouldn't do that to you. Why would you even think that?" I could never be with anyone else. I could never even look at anyone else when I loved him so much.

"Because it seems to me you are trying to tell me something about our relationship and…." His voice broke as he trailed off and I knew that meant he knew what I was doing.

He knew I was breaking up with him…

"Edward, I'm not seeing anyone else." From the corner of my eye I could see him nod.

"Then what?"

"I think we need to end things, Edward. In the long run it's probably for the best." Even I didn't believe that.

My answer made his calm façade come crumpling down. He took a step towards me but then walked back to his place again.

"You think?" My hands began to shake even more as I tried to nod. "The best to whom? That doesn't make any sense, Bella! If you're not seeing anyone else why are you doing this?"

I knew this wouldn't be easily but the tone of his voice made me want to run towards him and just wrap my arms around him. He sounded even more lost than before…

I had to remind myself why I was doing this. Why giving up on him was the right thing to do.

"I just can't…" I closed my eyes in an attempt to stop the traitor tears that were slowly forming in my eyes from falling down.

When I opened them, I saw him ran his hands through his hair before stopping to take a deep breath.

"I don't understand. What are you saying to me, Bella?" I kept trying not to look at him, trying to avoid him. "Damn it, look at me Bella!"

I gathered all my courage and lifted my eyes from my hands and looked up at him, trying desperately not to cry.

"I just…" I took a deep breath getting ready. "I can't keep doing this, it's too much! I don't want to be with you any longer."

Confusion. Anger. Understanding. Disappointment. Sadness. It all flicked through his eyes.

"I don't love you anymore Edward. I can't keep pretending." He stood completely still for several minutes, just looking at me, before whispering.

I almost couldn't hear him.

"You don't mean that."

"I do." My voice was almost a whisper as well. I had just told him I didn't love him. I had just said those words…

He ran his hands through his hair again and shook his head.

"Okay, Bella. What or who exactly is making you do this?" He was going to push me. He was going to make me say it again.

"I told you there is no one else, Edward!" Why couldn't he at least believe that? "I told you, I'm doing this because it's for the best."

"And I don't believe that! Something else is happening here. Tell me what it is, Bella." Knowing there was no other way of convincing him, I threw my hands up in the air in despair and sighed.

Why was he making it so difficult for me? Why did we have to fight?

"Why do you have to make this all that much harder, Edward?" He laughed humorlessly.

"Did you seriously expect me to take this lying down? Because if that was it, you don't know me as well as I thought you did." I took a deep breath and looked straight at him.

My expression was cold. It had to be.

"Maybe, I don't but if that's true you don't know me either so stop that! Stop that!" I was well aware I was almost screaming but I didn't care. I had to make him understand. "Why can't you accept the fact that I don't want you anymore? That I don't love you? Would you rather I kept lying to you. Do you want me to pretend?"

My words finally hit him. I could clearly see the pain in his eyes.

This was it, he was giving up. He wouldn't push me anymore.

"No, I wouldn't want that. I would never want that." I nodded at him, waiting for his reaction.

He stood looking at me, searching but not finding what he wanted. I wouldn't let him find it. He nodded and took several steps back, walking to the door and slamming it behind him.

EPOV

I left the apartment without looking back. I couldn't stand being there any longer. I couldn't look at Bella knowing she no longer wanted me, knowing she didn't love me.

I got into my car and speed down the street until I was far away. I wanted to scream and fight but I couldn't. I was only able to sit still while tears rolled down my face.

Bella didn't love me… Her words kept echoing in my head over and over again. I tried searching her eyes for something that I could hold on to. Something that told me she still wanted me but found nothing. She was telling the truth. She didn't love me.

I felt like I was being stabbed deep in my chest every time I thought that.

How long has it been since she stopped loving me? For how long was she pretending? When exactly did the moments we spent together become a lie?

I analyzed every single thing we did together in the last few months, trying to find the signals she might have been sending me; trying to determinate the moment when her attitude towards me had changed.

I couldn't tell when it had been, though. She always seemed perfectly happy when we were together. How could I have been so blind?

How could I have taken her for granted and ignored the fact that her feelings towards me had changed? How could I have lost her?

I stood in my car, stopped at a desert and unknown road for hours until it got dark and I was able to make my body stop shaking from the pain. I wiped the traces of tears from my face and started the car.

It was almost 2 am. I had stood in that place for almost 5 hours, watching as my world came crumbling down around me.

I had never felt so lost and desperate or broken in my life before. I didn't know what to do or say. I only knew where to go…

--

It was 2:45 when I knocked on Emmett's door. I probably shouldn't be doing it but he wouldn't mind and I had nowhere else to go.

He opened the door when I was about to knock for the third time and immediately raised an eyebrow at me.

"What happened?"

"Can I come in?"

"Of course." I stepped in and took off my coat, throwing it to the side. Emmett stood looking at me with a worried expression on his face.

"What happened, Edward? You look terrible!"

"Well, then the way I look portrays the way I feel perfectly." Or maybe not that perfectly. I felt like I had literally been in hell.

"Where's Bella, Edward? She is fine, isn't she?"

"I believe she is."

"Okay, Edward you're starting to scare me. What's up?" I shook my head and looked at him before turning my attention to the nearer wall. I couldn't say it while looking straight at him. It made it seem more real.

"Bella broke up with me."

"What?" His loud voice echoed through the whole apartment.

I shook my head once again and went to sit down on the couch. I ran my hands trough my hair before burying my face in them.

Everything still seemed so unreal… What was I going to do without Bella in my life? How was I going to make it through?

"Why? Why would she do that?"

"Because she doesn't love me anymore." The words burnt my throat and made my heart ache even more.

"That's impossible! Bella is as crazy about you as you are about her. She loves you, Edward! Everyone can see that."

"No, she doesn't." I could feel those damn tears forming in my eyes again.

I hadn't cried since I was seven and broke my leg…

I leaned back in the couch and closed them in an attempt to stop that new wave of emotion from hitting me.

"No, that's not possible." I could hear Emmett moving around and when I opened my eyes I could see him standing in front of me. Worry had been replaced by disbelief in his face.

"It is. She told me so herself."

"But you guys were so happy. That much was evident to everyone who saw you two together."

"I thought that too but apparently I was wrong." Emmett shook his head repeatedly.

"No. She had to be lying." How I wished that was true.

"She wasn't. She was looking straight at me when she said it. She was telling the truth. Why would she lie?"

"I don't know! I'm sure she had some insane reason! You have to be wrong." I shook my head and said nothing. "Edward, it's Bella we're talking about here!"

I knew that perfectly well. I also knew what I had heard from her. I couldn't keep fooling myself. Pretending would only make it worse right now.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore Emmett." Emmett shook his head and walked out of the living room only to come back soon after with a drink in his hand.

"Here. Maybe you should drink something." He handed me the drink but I set it aside. I didn't think I could drink or eat anything right now.

Emmett sat down in a chair in front of me as I got up and started to walk around. Being still was starting to drive me even crazier.

"How do you feel?" I kept moving around as I tried to ignore his question. How did I feel? Lost, broken, angry, sad…

"Edward…" I stopped near the entrance door and ran my fingers through my hair.

"I'm mad at myself, that's what I feel!" How could I not see she wasn't happy? "I feel lost and broken, Emmett. I don't know what to do!" Emmett said nothing as I kept talking.

"I keep thinking about everything we did lately and thinking if she still loved me then. I keep wondering for how long she has been lying. Did she love me when we did this or when we did that? Or was she already completely disconnected from me?"

"You have to stop that, Edward."

"I wish I could."

"Go talk to Bella. I'm sure there's something wrong with this story." I looked at him and took a deep breath. I couldn't do that.

I wasn't strong enough to hear her say she didn't love me once again. I wouldn't be able to stand in front of her as she broke my heart again.

I started to walk towards the guest's bathroom with the intent of taking a shower. Maybe it would help me think.

Truthfully, I wanted to get away from this conversation with Emmett. He seemed to think Bella was lying but I was looking into her eyes when she told me she didn't want me. She couldn't be lying, could she? No, she was never a good liar…

"I'm going to take a shower, Emmett. I left some clothes here somewhere, right?" He said nothing as I walked out of sight.

I let the water hit my body in an attempt to make me relax. It didn't help too much, though.

I couldn't block out the thoughts that invaded my mind or the waves of emotions that kept hitting me. Bella's face kept plaguing me every time I closed my eyes.

I needed to get away from it all. I needed to hide away and forget everything, erase every single memory. I knew it was impossible to forget but I could at least try.

I could go somewhere and be alone. I wouldn't be a good company for a long time.

I stood in the shower until after the water turned cold. When I got out, Emmett was nowhere to be found.

BPOV

I cried myself to exhaustion after Edward left. I couldn't help the tears from falling down my face as I sat on the couch with my arms around my legs and my head resting on my knees.

I felt like I had just ripped my own heart out. I felt empty.

I kept seeing Edward's beautiful face contorted with pain and sadness as I told him the most horrible of lies.

How was I able to stand in front of him and tell him I didn't want him when every cell in my body, every single part of my being craved to be in his arms? How was I able to tell him I didn't love him when I could never love anyone as much I love him?

He believed me… I, somehow, gained the courage to look into his eyes and he believed me. I succeeded on pushing him away….

Deep down I knew it was the right thing to do. I was breaking up with him because it was the best for him. He deserved better. He deserved an amazing and extraordinary life and I couldn't give him that when I didn't know what was going to happen with me.

If I knew all that, then why did it still hurt so much? I shook my head and slowly got up.

I was doing the right thing. Edward would be alright and he would find a way of being happy. I knew he would. He had too…

It didn't matter if I suffered or if I wasn't able to fully get past this. If Edward was happy, I would be happy too.

I went to the bathroom and took a long shower, trying to keep any thought from entering my mind. I wasn't successful.

I kept thinking I wouldn't have Edward sleeping next to me again. He would never play piano for me again or cuddle with me in the couch while we watched TV. I was alone from now on.

After the shower I got back to the living room and lay down on the couch. I flipped through the TV channels not really paying attention to anything until I heard a knock on the door.

Seeing anyone was the last thing I needed but when the person knocked again I decided to go see who it was.

I slowly got up from the couch and opened the door. Emmett was standing in the hallway, looking intensely at me He was studying me.

There was a mixture of worry, surprise, disbelief and even irritation in his eyes.

I knew he truly liked me. He saw me as his little sis, as he called me, but Edward was his brother. That was more important than any relationship Emmett had with me.

I said nothing as I looked at him. He was the first one to speak.

"Well, at least you look as bad as he does." I turned around and walked back to the couch where I sat down again.

"What do you want, Emmett?"

"What do you think? I want to know what the hell is going on." I kept my eyes on the TV, not wanting to look directly at him as he closed the door and came in.

"Nothing is going on, Emmett."

"Nothing is going on?" I simply nodded. "Edward gets to my apartment looking like he just had the worst day of his life, which is probably true, and saying that you broke up with him out of the blue and you say nothing is going on?" I nodded again, keeping my attention away from him.

It hurt me to see him here, fighting with me because I hurt his brother. It made me realize I truly had broken Edward.

I had wished he didn't love me as much as I knew he did. It would be so much easier if I was the only one suffering…

"I don't want to talk about it, Emmett." A tear began to roll down my face but I quickly wiped it away.

"I don't understand, Bella! Why did you break up with him?" Emmett sat down on the coffee table in front of me.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before speaking.

"Because I don't love him anymore."

"I don't believe it." I opened my eyes to look at him. He no longer seemed angry at me.

"It's the truth."

"No, it's not. If it was you wouldn't be looking like you just cried the whole evening. You wouldn't be looking so broken." Tears started to roll down my face again and this time I wasn't able to stop them.

"You're lying, Bella. I know you are. Edward can't see it because he's too involved in it but I can. I know you're crazy about him, there's no way that goes away that easily."

"Emmett please, don't make me talk about it anymore. I'm too tired. I have no strength left to go through this again." He tried to clean away some of my tears and came to sit beside me so he could run a hand up and down my back.

"Everything seemed perfect between you two. Why are you doing this now?" I shook my head and bit my lower lip in an attempt to stop me from sobbing.

"I don't want to talk about this with you, Emmet. I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to lose you too. You're friendship is important for me." I looked straight at him. "I already lost Edward today, I can't fight anymore…"

"You didn't lose Edward, you pushed him away. All you have to do is tell him the truth and he'll be back here with you as soon as humanly possible. You know that." I said nothing as I closed my eyes and buried my face in his shoulder. He let me cry as much as I needed, without saying anything.

When I was able to control myself he made me look at him.

"I'll find out why you're doing this Bella. I'm sure you have some crazy reason for pushing the man you love away…"

"Let it be, Emmett." He nodded and smiled a little.

"For now." Emmett stayed with me until I feel asleep in the early morning. I struggled with the pain and the guilt I felt.

I had broken both Edward and I today and that was something I couldn't deal it. At least not now, probably never…

I woke up soon after I feel asleep and stood in my bed looking outside trough the window.

I could see my reflection on the mirror, which was standing in the bathroom. I looked sad and mostly hollow. My imaged reflected the way I felt perfectly.

I had to get use to this feeling of being empty. That was how my life from now on, my life without Edward, would be…

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I promise we'll find out what's up with Bellain future chapters!

Should I really hide now? :P


	22. Chapter 21 Goodbyes

See? I didn't go into hidding for too long! (I probably should because my finals are here, but oh well...)

Here's chapter 21. I hope you like this one.

Again, and as always, thank you to Irebporti for helping me so much.

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Chapter 21 - Goodbyes

Emmett's Point Of View

She was lying. She was lying! That much was obvious.

I could tell she still loved him. It was evident in the way she talked and the way she looked beyond broken that she had lied to him. She was still crazy about him.

The reason she had lied was still a mystery, though.

Why had she told him that? Why had she broken both of them like that? What had been running through that crazy head of hers that made her tell such a vicious lie? And why had he believed her? He knew her better than that…

Had Bella been able to look into Edward's eyes and lie to him from the first time? It was possible but highly unlikely…

Had Edward been so unsure of Bella's love for him that he believed her first denial of that love? It seemed highly unlikely, as well.

Edward knew Bella… He knew her better than anyone else. He knew she loved him more than anything. He knew she belonged to him just like he belonged to her.

Truthfully, I was sure I already knew why Edward had believed her so easily. Since the day he realized he was in love with her, he only had one fear. Losing her.

Bella had taken such an important part in his life that he feared having to live without her. He feared having to watch her go.

It was his only true fear and it paralyzed him. He would never say it to anyone and he would never admit it to her but I knew that when he held her in his arms, the thought that one day he might not have her there scared him more than anything.

I knew the feeling. I felt the same way about Rosalie...

That fear was _why_ he believed her so easily. That fear was why he gave up without a fight. Unknowingly, when she told him she didn't love him Bella hit Edward's weak point.

She suddenly made his fear of losing her a reality and I'm sure that in that moment Edward wasn't able to think or comprehend anything but that. _I'm going to lose Bella_, was his only thought…

I was sure he wasn't able to see the pain in her eyes as she lied, he wasn't able to see how broken she was because his fear incapacitated him…

I could only hope for the best now. I hoped I could be able to get Edward to see that Bella still loved him. If he could see it, they would work things out.

All they had to do was talk. If they talked, Edward would be able to find out why she was lying.

As crazy as it was I had the feeling she was doing it because she somehow thought Edward would be better off without her.

If he knew that he would be able to break her down and make her realize he could never be whole away from her.

I walked into my apartment and turned on the lights in the living room. I searched the whole apartment, looking for Edward. I finally found him in the balcony, looking aimlessly at the street.

He was completely still and he somehow seemed even paler than he already was. The bruises beneath his eyes were pronounced and even if you didn't know him, you could tell he had had an awful day.

He had been crying and that worried me. I had never seen my bother cry before. I had never seen him so sad. He always bottled up all his feelings and didn't allow anyone in.

Anyone besides Bella that is...

I didn't know who looked worse. Him or her…

I moved to sat down beside him and he slowly turned to look at me.

"I went to see Bella."

"I imagined so." I nodded while trying to figure out the best way to deal with this. "I think you should talk to her."

He turned his attention back to the street.

"I will."

"You will?" He took a deep breath while running his hands through his hair and I immediately knew this wouldn't be good.

"I have to go get my things. I'm moving to L.A."

"What? Are you crazy? You're going to give up on the woman you love that easily?"

"I'm not giving up, Emmett. There's nothing I can _do._ I just can't stay here, near her right now. I…" He got up and walked to the living room. I quickly followed him. _There was no way I was leaving this like this…_

"Maybe it seems too much like running away but I just can't take it. I can't see her every other day knowing she doesn't want to be with me. I'm taking the job in L.A." I understood where he was coming from, but they could fix this.

They were _Edward and Bella_, there was nothing that could keep them apart...

"Edward she still loves you. I don't know why she is doing this but I know she loves you. You know that too!"

"No, I don't. I'm calling her tomorrow so I can go pick up my things and tell her the apartment is hers if she wants and then that's it. It's over…" He didn't even give me time to answer; he immediately walked out of the living room to the guest's room.

How had they screwed everything so much?

They had helped me make a decision, though. I would finally ask Rosalie to move in with me...

BPOV

Alice came over in the morning, already knowing what had happened. Emmett had, apparently, called her and asked her to check on me.

The little pixie stormed into the apartment and stood in the middle of my living room, with her hands on her hips, looking at me.

Only when I said her name did she start yelling at me.

"Have you gone crazy?"I closed my eyes for an instant and took a deep breath. Maybe I had. At this point I couldn't be sure anymore.

"Hello to you too, Alice."

"Cut the bullshit, Bella! What is going on here?" I automatically took a step back, slightly scared by her tone. Little Alice suddenly looked huge.

"Listen Alice, I don't want to talk about it. What's done is done and I would really appreciate it if people would stop pushing me because that only makes it worse. It hurts me more!" Her expression softened slightly and she took a step towards me.

"How are you holding on?" I raised an eyebrow at her and she exasperatedly rolled her eyes at me. "You're my best friend and I can tell when you're hurting. I don't know exactly what happened and you don't really need to tell me if you don't want to. I just want to know how you are handling this."

I wanted to tell her the truth. I needed to share it with someone but I couldn't. Alice and I didn't share the same perspective on this particular subject and, although I knew she would stand beside me no matter what, this was something I had to deal with myself.

"I'll be alright." She nodded and walked closer to me. "I really want to tell you Alice but I just can't'..."

"I know. Just tell me something." I nodded slowly, knowing perfectly well what she was about to ask. "What did you tell Edward? Emmett said something crazy about you telling Edward you didn't love him..."

With a deep breath and collecting all the strength I had left in me I let her know that what Emmett had told her was the true.

"I told him I didn't love him." Her eyes widened slightly and she shook her head repeatedly.

"That's a lie, Bella."

"It's not Alice, that's what I told him."

"That's not what I meant." I laughed humourlessly. It was a dry, sad laugh.

"I know. I don't love him, anymore..." I knew she didn't believe me, just like Emmett hadn't.

The only one who seemed to believe me was the one person I thought it would be the hardest to convince. The one person I secretly wished didn't believe me.

Alice looked around the apartment before looking straight at me again.

"Emmett said Edward is completely broken, Bella. Please do something about that. Don't let the man you love hurt because of a lie." I didn't want to know that.

I didn't want to think about that. I couldn't handle the thought that Edward was hurting because of me...

"Please stop telling me that, Alice. You're not helping." She took a deep breath and raised her hands in front of her.

"Okay... I still think what you're doing is crazy but I'm your friend, so I'll believe you have your reasons for doing it and I promise I will let it go for now. I just wished you and Edward weren't hurting so much." I was about to tell her I did, too. That I wished all of this could be easy when my phone started to ring.

I walked towards it, picked it up and immediately stopped moving as I saw the name on the screen.

Edward was calling me and I didn't know what to do.

I wanted - _needed_ - to hear his voice again but I knew that if he told me he didn't believe me, if he tried to fight for me I wouldn't be able to keep lying. I would tell him the truth...

I looked up at Alice and she immediately understood. She nodded once and encouraged me to answer the phone.

Alice's encouragement and the need to hear Edward's voice at least once more time won over and I ended up answering the cell phone on its fifth ring.

"Hello?" I realized for the first time that my voice sounded somewhat different, shallower maybe, but I didn't care.

"It's Edward."

"I know."

"Yes..." He's beautiful voice sounded a little different as well.

I knew him well enough to know that he was making an effort to control himself. He went silent for a few seconds before speaking again.

"Do you think I can go over there today to get my things?" The words got caught in my throat as I struggled to speak. I didn't want him to move out; he shouldn't have to do it.

"You don't need to. I promise I'll move out soon."

"No, you don't have to."

"But, it's your apartment…" I could hear him taking a deep breath before speaking and I moved so I was sitting down on the couch.

"No, it's not. Not anymore anyway… I don't want it. I can no longer stay there."

"But Edward…"

"It's yours if you want it. I'll put it in your name…"

"No, I can't accept that. I'll move in with Alice until I find another place." I looked up at Alice and she simply shook her head.

I knew she wouldn't mind me staying with her for a while but she still didn't agree with what I was doing.

"Yes, you can. I think the apartment is definitely more yours than mine right now… I don't want to stay there and if you don't either I'll just end up selling it." I wanted to tell him no. Tell him that this was our apartment and that I couldn't stay here without him but at the same time I just couldn't give up this apartment.

It meant too much to me. It was the place Edward and I had been happy and I wasn't ready to let that go. There were too many memories of him, of us, everywhere…

"Thank you, Edward."

"Yes… So, can I go there tomorrow or not? I need a few things and… You don't need to be there if you don't want to."

"Of course you can."

"I'll be there tomorrow morning then, okay." I made a little sound in agreement and we both feel silent until he spoke again. "Goodbye then."

"Bye." I had barely spoken that word when he hung up the phone.

I guess he wasn't so comfortable talking with me anymore...

"What is it, Bella?" I looked down at the phone that was still on my hands and cleared my throat once.

"Edward is coming over tomorrow." From the corner of my eyes I could see Alice start to walk towards me and sit down by my side.

"To talk?"

"No. To get his things. He says the apartment is mine..."

"Wow, he really is a great you!" I nodded as she smiled sympathetically at me.

She immediately enveloped me in a hug and placed her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"Don't be. It's okay." I felt a little numb.

I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. One of us would have to move and the whole break-up would be definitive.

I felt a tear start to fall down my face, quickly followed by several others. I hadn't even realized I was so close to crying.

Alice immediately lifted her head to look at me and tried to wipe some of my tears away.

"No, it's not. You're crying, Bella. If you really don't love him anymore why are you crying?"

"Because he's been part of my live for more than a year and that doesn't go away that easily. Even if I don't love him anymore I still like him, he's still important to me, he's still my friend..." _It would never go away..._

Alice said nothing else as we stood still for what seemed like hours. I finally moved to look at her and smile as best as I could.

"Alice, just so you know, you can be scarier than Emmett!" She grinned at me and winked before hugging me again.

---

Edward came over early the next day and I sat down on the arm of the couch as I watched him take his CD's and books from the shelves.

I was such a masochist for standing still, watching him take his things away…

We were yet to speak a word to each other since yesterday's phone call. When I opened the door for him today he simply nodded, walked into the apartment and started to pack his things.

I was fighting the urge to run to him and throw my arms around his neck as I saw him walk to our bedroom, _my_ bedroom now, I guess.

I wanted to hold him in my arms and kiss his beautiful face. Tell him that I wanted him to stay here in our home with me.

When he came back from the bedroom I finally found the courage to speak.

"Edward, you don't need to do this. You can still stay with the apartment. I'll move in with Alice and Jasper for a few days until I find somewhere else to stay. They won't mind."

"That's okay. I want you to stay here. Besides I won't stay in New York. I'm moving to L.A."

"Why? You took the job?"

"Yes… Why wait two years for them to open the office here when I can have the job now?" I closed my eyes for an instant and took a deep breath to calm myself. "And when there's nothing holding me here anymore..."

I knew I wasn't supposed to hear that last part as he said it in a whisper but I still did...

"You said I wasn't the reason why you weren't taking the job there..."

"I said you weren't the only reason!"

"Then what changed?"

"Everything changed. If I stick around I'll just end up hurting everyone around me so the best thing I can do is take the job." I felt suddenly out of breath.

I hadn't truly expected him to move away. I didn't want him to be so far from me, I didn't want to never see him again.

The logical part of me knew it was for the best, though. The whole point of breaking up with him was because I knew he deserved a better life than the one he had with me and that better life included an even better job.

I was sure he would also find a nice girl, who was suited for him there. He would be happy. He would have a great job doing something he loved and he would start a nice little family. I would be happy for him then…

It didn't matter if I was still broken, I would be happy because he was happy. He deserved so much better than me…

"I'm glad. You deserve that job…" He simply nodded and as he turned around to place the last box in the doorway I realized there were a few tears running down his face and that only made the tug in my heart grow bigger.

I didn't think I had ever seen him cry before...

He walked around the living room one more time before stopping in front of me. Our eyes locked together and I could clearly see confusion, pain and sadness all mixed in his.

I wanted to make it all go away. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and wipe his tears away. I wanted to make him whole again but how could I when I was the one causing him pain? I never wanted to cause him pain…

"Please tell me you were lying, Bella. Please tell me it was all a big lie. Tell me that you still want to be with me." He cupped my face in his hands and pressed our foreheads together. I couldn't hold on anymore so I simply allowed my tears to run down my face as he kissed me softly. "Please…"

I moved my hands to his chest and gripped his shirt. I wanted so much to hold him close to me and tell him I loved him more than anything but I couldn't. He deserved better.

I selfishly allowed myself to kiss him one last time, though. I let him take control of the kiss and kiss me as he pleased.

He once again started the kiss softly but quickly deepened it. The kiss became almost frantic as our tongues fought for dominance and I couldn't help but to moan into his mouth.

When he softly moaned back I knew I had to stop.

I used my hands that were still on his chest to pull him back, away from me. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes when I did so and I just couldn't keep looking at him.

"I'm sorry, Edward…" From the corner of my eyes I saw him nod slowly before placing his hand under my chin, making me look at him.

He wiped away the tears that were still falling down my face and kissed my forehead before pulling back. He took a long last look at me and walked to the door with his boxes.

He stopped there for a moment but I couldn't turn around to look at him.

I heard him place his apartment key in the table and then clear his voice.

"I hope everything goes well for you, Bella… I hope you find a way of being happy and just… Good luck." I had to close my eyes and take a deep breath at his words and it was only after he was already gone that I could answer.

"You, too."


	23. Chapter 22 A Change of Plans

A lot of people said Alice shouldn't be supporting Bella right now but fighting for her - even if Bella thinks that fight is against her - instead. Well, Alice was doing the best she knew at the time but don't count on her to give up that easily.

You know Alice is always trying to help. She always has a plan.

I hope you guys like this chapter.

Thanks to Irebporti again, for putting up with me!

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**Chapter 22 – A Change ****of Plans**

BPOV

For the next four months after our break up, I didn't see nor did I have any direct contact with Edward.

I knew he was still in New York, probably getting things ready to take the new job in Los Angeles but that was all the information I had.

All I knew is that I missed him. I missed him more than I thought I would – more than I had the right to.

He was always on my mind no matter what I did, no matter how much I tried to stop thinking about him.

I was glad he couldn't see me now, though.

Apparently my health was deteriorating faster than the doctor thought it would… It was a wonder how no one had noticed it yet.

I guess I was a better liar than everyone thought I was…

I hadn't told anyone exactly why I had broken up with Edward, not even Alice. I didn't want anyone to tip-toe around me because I was sick.

I went on with my life, monitoring my disease without ever letting it show but always waiting for the moment when I would have to follow the doctor's instructions and do what was needed.

The moment would come soon, I could tell. I no longer felt as strong as I usually did. I felt sick almost every day now. I woke up and had to run to the bathroom to throw up and often felt tired without truly doing anything or had headaches that prevented me of thinking straight.

Things weren't looking that good anymore.

I would have to deal with the consequences of my illness soon.

No more running away.

I did try to keep everything in my life as normal as possible until then, though. The only thing that was different – the only thing that was missing – was Edward.

I had pushed him away because it was the right thing to do.

Just because I hadn't had to do what the doctor wanted yet, it didn't mean that I wouldn't have to. I would and if Edward was with me I knew he would give up on everything to just be by my side…

I still slept in the shirts he had left behind. They still represented a kind of comfort.

It was crazy but they worked as solid evidence that Edward was real, that what we has had together was real. They helped me remember.

I had just taken a long bath and was fixing myself something to eat when Alice came over.

I tried not to talk about Edward with her but it seemed like she always had something to tell me about him. It was never any news, she would just mention his name in the middle of a conversation and leave it like that.

She was always trying to break me and get me to tell her why I had lied.

Emmett did exactly the same in the three times I talked to him after I broke up with Edward. I guess he was still a little angry at me for hurting his brother.

He had all the right to be…

I opened the door to Alice and she immediately took a step towards me.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I stepped aside so she could come inside and then closed the door behind her.

"I need to talk to you." I furrowed my brow. What happened?

"Sure. What's up?" She threw her purse on the couch and took a deep breath.

_Oh, I could already tell this wasn't going to be good!_

"Edward is leaving for LA tonight. Are you going to let that happen?" I just looked at her without saying anything.

I knew this would happen soon. I had been preparing myself for it.

Or at least I thought I was.

I wanted to be unaffected by that piece of news but I wasn't.

All I could think was that this was it. He was finally moving away and I would probably never see him again…

"Bella, are you going to watch the man you love – and don't even try to tell me you don't because I know you do – move to another city? Are you going to just sit around while the perfect guy for you gets away?"I shook my head and took a deep breath.

I didn't want to go through this again. I didn't want to have to lie to her again and tell her I didn't want Edward anymore when it was more than obvious that I did.

"I thought you said you wouldn't push me, Alice."

"Well, I wasn't but then I thought about it and changed my mind. Why did you break up with him? I want the truth." I shook my head and sat down as she went on. "Are you so insecure that it makes you unsure of his love for you? Do you want him to accept the job? Are you crazy? Are you dying?"

I knew she was only throwing options out there but she had gotten dangerously close to the truth and I knew she could see it in my face.

"Bella, you are okay, aren't you? Are you sick?" This was the perfect moment for me to tell her the whole truth and even if I wanted it, I couldn't.

"No. I'm fine, Alice."

"Are you sure? You have been looking a little tired lately…."

"I am sure, Alice. I'm fine. I just got a little behind on my work so I have a lot to do now. The accumulated work it's apparently taking its toll on me." She looked a little suspicious but nodded anyway.

She was letting at least that subject go for now.

I silently thanked her. I would deal with how to tell her about what was going on soon enough.

"Okay. Now, you really need to do something or Edward will move away and then it will be all that much harder to bring him back due to his job. They won't want to let go of him."

"They shouldn't. Edward is a great editor and this is a great opportunity for him." She huffed loudly.

"I think you are missing my point here, Bella!"

"I'm not Alice. I just think that if Edward wants to move to LA, he should do it. He deserves that job." She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Bella? Are you even listening to what you are saying? I know you are not doing this because of the damn job since you can move with him if you wanted, so why is it?"

"I'm not kidding you, Alice. Just let things be."

"Fine! If hurting and pushing the man you love away forever is what you want, go ahead and do it! Just don't come crying to me when he does move on and you find out that he is starting a life with another woman! Getting married, having babies…" I didn't need to listen to that.

I had thought about it enough already. I would do my best to be happy for him when that happened but I didn't need to imagine him with another woman right now.

"Stop that, Alice."

"Why? You can't handle that thought? You better learn how to deal with it because it will eventually happen. He will eventually be with other women. Or do you expect him to pine after you for the rest of your life?" I took a deep breath to steady myself.

Why did she have to tell me all of this?

"No, I don't expect that and I won't go crying to you when he moves on, okay? You don't have to worry about it. I've made my decision and I'm more than capable of dealing with its consequences myself." Yeah, right! Not even I believed that!

"Good. I just want you to know you're being extremely stupid." I nodded at her, not wanting to go on with this conversation.

Her tone of voice let me know she was mad and that meant she had a lot more to tell me. She was getting ready to give me a piece of her mind today…

Luckily for me she seemed to be momentarily distracted with something else.

"What time is it?" I looked down at my watch.

"6pm. Why?"

"Shit! I'm late!"

"For what? What's the hurry?" She picked her purse up and turned her back on me.

"I'm throwing a dinner for us tomorrow. I want you in my apartment before 8pm tomorrow night so you can help me with a few things. You better be there or I'll come looking for you." She was out the door before I could even say if I would be there or not.

I guess she hadn't left me much of a choice anyway…

This was just great! Another person who was angry with me. That was just what I needed!

I shook my head and got up, deciding to work a little. I could at least do something useful today.

EPOV

I spent the last four months after I moved out doing… Well, I didn't know what the hell I had been doing.

Wallowing around, Emmett would say, but I didn't think of myself as the wallowing type.

I guess I was just hiding from the world until everything was set up and I could move to LA, much to Emmett's despair.

I didn't even know how many times he tried to get me to something with him. At least I had the decency to leave him and Rosalie alone when she went over to his apartment.

Being by yourself was the best thing to do when you knew you wouldn't be a good company to anyone.

The only set back on my plan of being alone was that it left me with too much time to think about everything that happened. I really needed to begin that new job so I could keep myself occupied.

I tried to keep my mind away from Bella but my memories kept betraying me. I tried not to remember her, or think about what she was doing, but failed miserably.

She was still too present in my mind. I hoped that with time that would change at least a little.

I knew I would never stop loving her but I hoped that time would be able to appease the need I felt to be with her.

Luckily for me the day I would move to LA finally came. I called Esme saying goodbye and after promising her that I would call as often as possible, went to the airport.

I didn't exactly want to move away but maybe I could find some way of forgetting everything there.

Maybe I could learn to live by myself without constantly thinking about Bella. Without constantly waiting for her to show up and threw herself in my arms like she did so many times before…

I needed the change. I was tired of lying to myself just to keep the pain away.

I was about to reach the check in counter when something little and surprisingly strong collided with me.

When I looked down, I immediately recognized the spiky, dark hair.

"Alice? What are you doing here?"

She waved her hand in front of her and gestured for me to start walking back to the door. I didn't fully understand what all of this was about.

"Move!" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"What?"

"Come on, turn around. I'm not letting you get into that plane." I tried to reason with her even though I knew that was a hard thing to do.

"Alice, you are awfully small. You can't stop me." She placed her hands on her waist and tried to look menacing.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, don't dare me! You are going to listen to me and turn back or I swear I'll make a scene right here!" She was almost funny, when she angry even thought I didn't know why the hell she was like that.

I looked around, noticing some people were already looking at us.

"You are already are, Alice. People are staring at us!"

"Oh, this is nothing compared to what I can do, so move!"

"Okay, Alice stop it! What is happening here?"

"I want you to go back with me so you can talk to Bella and fix things up." Of course that was why she was here. What else?

I couldn't go back.

"That's not going to happen, Alice."

"Of course it is. You two just need to talk and things will be alright and you'll be together again." She almost sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as me.

I couldn't let her convince me. I had made my mind and the best thing for me was to leave right now.

I wouldn't be that great of a company to my friends if I stayed.

I tried to make Alice understand that.

"Alice, this is the end of the line for Bella and me. What she did and said when she knew perfectly well how I felt about her…" I trailed off not being able to truly explain what it had done to me.

I had felt angry at first but now I just felt numb.

I knew that if I was to be in Bella's presence for too long right now that anger towards myself and how blind I had been would resurface. I would probably end up doing something I wouldn't be so proud of after.

And despite everything, I didn't want to hurt Bella. Not how she had hurt me. Not in any way…

"It broke you. I know…"

"Yes and even if it was all a lie like everyone seems to think, I can't change what I feel for her at the moment. I love her but I don't think I can be near her for now."

"I know Edward, but she already gave up. If you give up too there will be no hope." What hope was there left?

"There already isn't any hope, Alice."

"Look into my eyes and tell me you don't want to know why she broke up with you." I thought it was quite clear why she had done it…

"She doesn't love me."

"That's bullshit and you know it! Tell me you don't want to fight for her." I wish I didn't.

I wished I could stop wanting her. I wished I could stop loving her.

"Alice…"

"Give her a chance to explain it, Edward. I know she doesn't deserve it but give her a chance. If you can't forgive her, which is understandable, I won't try to stop you from going to LA. You can even give Bella a piece of your mind because she certainly deserves it but I know there is something up. Something bad is happening with Bella and she isn't telling me what it is. She isn't okay."

I was instantly worried, even though I shouldn't be.

Alice sounded worried and… sad. Sad because Bella hadn't told her what was happening yet.

"What do you mean? What do you think is wrong with her?"

"I don't know but she is hiding something important." I shook my head.

"Alice, I don't…"

"Edward, _please _believe me. I have known Bella for years and I know what she told you but believe me, she is lying. I was there when you called her the next day and she just started crying when she realized your break up was definitive and that you were moving out. She wouldn't do that if she didn't love you, would she?" Could she be right?

Did I want her to be right? I did, but…

"Alice, what are you saying to me?"

"Come back with me. I have a plan. I want to throw a dinner party for the gang and you need to be there so she can see you."

"Alice if she doesn't want to be with me that dinner is useless and it will only make me feel worse. Besides I don't know how I'll react to her."

"I told you, you have all the right to be angry with her but you know me. I wouldn't do this if I thought it would hurt you more. Bella hasn't been well. Something truly is wrong. You just need to get her to tell you what it is…"

I couldn't stay, could I?

Damn, why did I want to stay so much when I knew perfectly well I shouldn't?

I thought I couldn't be convinced into staying but if Alice was right and there was something wrong with Bella, I wanted to be there for her.

Even if she didn't want me there – even if I couldn't be near her without being plagued by that feeling of emptiness - I wanted to be able to help her as much as I could.

I shouldn't want it, but I did. I couldn't change how much I still loved her…

Alice grabbed my arm, bringing me out of my reveries.

"Are you coming with me?" I nodded. I would go to Alice's dinner and see what I could do.

I didn't have anything to lose, after all.

I didn't catch the damn plane.

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I know I haven't let you know what's wrong with Bella yet, but I promise I will soon!

I'm in the process of writing that chapter.


	24. Chapter 23 Two Sides To Every Story

Okay, this chapter is slightly different from the other ones since it contains both points of views of the same situation.

I thought it should be done like this so we can understand their reactions. (Especially Edward's)

I hope you like it!

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Chapter 23 – Two Sides To Every Story

BPOV

I don't even know why I decided to go to this dinner of Alice's. Probably because she would have hunted me down and never shut up about it if I didn't show up.

I really should have stayed at home today. It had been terrible so far. I wanted to curl up in my bed and sleep.

Unwillingly, I made my way to Alice's apartment.

I was just entering the elevator at her apartment facility when I got a message from her asking me where the hell I was. I just rolled my eyes at it. It wasn't even eight yet!

I was so distracted by her message I didn't even look where I was going once the elevator doors opened and ended up tripping on my own feet and falling forward.

But before I could hit the floor a pair of strong hands grabbed my arms, lifting me up and twirling me around. I guess the way I was falling and then was pushed up left whoever was holding me no other choice but to twirl me or we would both hit the floor.

My back suddenly pressed against a wall and my head moved back but instead of hitting the hard wall like I expected, it hit something soft.

The person who was holding me was fast enough to realize what was going to happen and place a hand behind my head. I was grateful for that.

The blow would have definitely hurt.

"Are you okay?" I nodded at the person holding me while taking a deep breath to steady myself and making sure my feet were well planted on the floor.

I knew that voice.

"Edward?"I turned my attention to him and gasped.

It was crazy but I had almost expected him to have changed in these four months but he didn't.

He looked the same.

Bronze hair and green eyes, which were fixed on me with a mixture of worry and surprise. Tall and lanky, defined jaw and long fingers which were sending little electricity shocks up and down my body.

He, as always, looked absolutely perfect.

Had I, unknowingly, really hit my head and was now imagining things? Was this what it was? An illusion? Edward was already in LA, right?

"Are you really okay?" I was suddenly reminded of how we first met. He asked me exactly the same thing when I first tripped in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" That wasn't exactly the first words I wanted to say to him after four months but they left my mouth before I could stop it.

I was curious.

He immediately let go of me and buried his hands in his pockets. I guess that wasn't the first thing he wanted to hear from me as well.

"Alice invited me to dinner. I actually didn't think you would show up. I should have guessed…" His eyes no longer portrayed any emotion like they had before.

He had always been great in showing no emotion when needed. He had a great defense system…

I deserved the coldness.

"Yes, but…" I didn't have to finish. He knew what I was asking.

"I haven't gone to LA yet. I still have to take care of a few things here. " Of course. Why else would he still be here?

I didn't say anything after that. I just stood there looking at him not knowing what I was expected to do or say.

He looked me over once and then nodded while starting to walk.

"Maybe we should get in before Alice sends a rescuing mission after us." He was probably right. He always was…

I pushed myself off the waIl and walked besides Edward in silence until we were in front of Alice's apartment and he was knocking on the door.

He looked absolutely amazing and my whole being still responded to the sight him.

My fingers were itching to reach out to him and touch his face and his tousled hair. _Was it still as soft as it was before?_

I had to force myself not to run to his arms and just kiss him like I wanted to. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, bury my face on his chest and let his smell surround me like I had done so many times before.

_Damn, I still loved him so much!_

Jasper opened the door for us and Edward immediately darted inside. I guess he wanted to be as far away from me as possible right now…

I slowly walked into the living room after him. Jasper gave me a little encouraging smile as Rosalie came to greet me.

From the corner of my eye I could see Alice talking to Edward. He was shaking his head at her and I knew him well enough to know he wasn't happy about something.

Maybe my presence here bothered him. I didn't know…

I didn't pay much attention to what Rosalie was telling me and I could tell she noticed. She quickly gave up on me and made her way towards Emmett, who was sitting in the couch with a bowl of popcorns on his lap.

I had to smile a little at that. Emmett was never one to wait for dinner.

When she noticed I was alone Alice made her way towards me and almost knocked me off of feet when she stopped just inches away from me.

_That girl sometimes had no sense of personal space whatsoever!_

"I saw you two come in at the same time. Have you talked to him already?" I didn't even need to ask her who she was talking about. It was pretty obvious this whole dinner was one of her schemes.

"No, I haven't."

"Then, what are you waiting for?" _Nothing._ I just didn't know what to tell him.

"What I am supposed to tell him?

"Isn't that obvious? The truth! That's why I managed to get both of you here tonight!"

"Well, you shouldn't have then…"

"Listen, I don't care if he tells you he hates you, Bella. What's important here is that you need to tell him the truth, whatever that is. For at least once in your life do the right thing. Don't fucking run away." I took a deep breath and shook my head.

"Even if I tell him the truth, it won't change anything. I did what I thought was right and now all I can do is live with it." She huffed loudly.

"You are so stupid, Bella!" And with that she turned her back on me and walked towards were Jasper and Edward were now standing.

How did she expect me to tell Edward the truth? _Hey, Edward how are you? Listen I'm glad you didn't go to L.A just yet because I have to tell you that I'm sick. Yes, that's why I broke up with you but no, I don't want you to have to take care of me. So, now that you know this I hope you can go on. Good luck with your new job by the way!_

_That's a conversion that would go well!_

I knew I had done the right thing by pushing him away. I may not have done it in the right way but I really didn't want him to stay here just to take care of me.

Whatever was going on with me shouldn't be able to slow his life down.

The truth is that by this point I was also afraid of his reaction if he found out why I did it. He would think I was crazy.

He would think I was being silly - because he would no doubt be willing to take care of me - and would by consequence be angry at me. Angrier than he might be already.

That didn't change the fact that I wanted to at least be able to talk to him once more. Be sure that he was alright and was going on with his life as he should.

When I looked up at them again, Alice was dragging Jasper to the kitchen. She threw me a look that clearly said I was expected to go talk to Edward.

He had talked to me in the hallway so he wouldn't push me away, right? Before he could walk towards Emmett and Rosalie, I took a step in his direction.

He seemed slightly confused and even uncomfortable when I stopped near him.

I didn't know how to start so I opted to say the first thing that came into my mind.

"How are you?"

"Are you fucking kidding me, Bella?" He didn't even let me answer. "That's what you have to tell me?"

When I nodded, unsure, he went on.

"I'm great, Bella. My life is amazing. I couldn't be happier right now." That was obviously not the best way for me to approach him and I immediately didn't know what else to say.

"I…" I shook my head. I just wanted to run away.

What could I say to him? I didn't have to say anything, though, because he placed his drink down and went on.

"Now, just tell me something, Bella. Are you happy?" I didn't fully understand where he was going with this.

"Happy?"

"Yes. Are you happy now that you succeeded in pushing me away and actually making me feel like I was the most detestable creature in this world? Are you happy now that you made me a horrible company for everyone around me?" I struggled for words while trying to keep the tears that were forming in my eyes from falling down my face.

He had never talked to me like that before but he had all the right to.

I hadn't just pushed him away. I had made him hate me.

"Edward, I didn't want to hurt you so much. I…" He didn't let me finish.

"You didn't? What did you think it would happen? Did you expect me to take the fact that the woman I love doesn't love me anymore lightly?" He didn't even sound angry anymore.

He sounded resigned – broken – and that made me realize the magnitude of my actions.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." He shook his head.

"You did get one thing right that day, Bella. I would never want you to keep pretending. I would never want you to be unhappy because of me." Little did he know I wasn't pretending then.

I was only pretending now…

He walked back to his place on the couch before I could say anything else. I wouldn't know what to say either.

I suddenly felt sick. Sicker than I had before and had to rush to the bathroom.

I was sure Alice and Edward saw me do that but none of them immediately came after me. This would only increase Alice's suspicions, though.

I ended up throwing up and after sitting in the cold floor, recovering, pushed myself up and leaned in against the bathroom countertop.

I was suddenly glad I had left a toothbrush here the last time Alice decided she needed a girls only night. This way I could brush my teeth and get rid of that vile taste in my mouth.

I did so and was taking several deep breaths to control myself when Alice knocked on the door.

"Can I come in?" I washed my face and dried it up before answering her.

"Yes." She opened the door a little, looking me over as she did.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I just…" I took a deep breath while washing my face again. "Edward and I talked." She came into the bathroom and leaned in against the wall.

"I'm assuming that didn't go so well…" I huffed.

"That's an understatement. He is so mad at me…" That was an understatement as well. He was more than just angry at me.

He probably hated me by now…

"Well, I'm afraid he has all the right to be."

"I know…" He obviously did. I had hurt him, after all.

"Bella, I know I asked you this before but you never did answer me: What is happening with you?" I took a deep breath while shaking my head. "I know you're not alright, I can see it. There's something very wrong here!"

She was always so perceptive there was no doubt in my mind she already had an idea of what was wrong. Besides, I wasn't looking so good anymore so that must have ticked her off.

I would tell her all about my illness soon. I just had to figure some things out first and decide what I wanted to do.

"I promise I'll tell you soon…" She nodded.

I knew I was more than likely hurting her for not telling her what was going on. She thought I didn't trust her but that wasn't the case.

"I know you will. I'll be here when you are ready to tell me but this is your last chance with Edward, Bella. Tell him about whatever is wrong with you or you'll lose him forever." I was pretty sure I already had…

"I can't, Alice."

"Yes, you can. Tell him that you love him and then tell him that it was all a lie. Tell him the truth and let him make an informed decision. If, after he hears you, he decides to stay with you even if you did something terrible, then you have to accept that. Accept the fact that you are one of the luckiest women in the word for having a guy like him that loves you so much." I felt the tears starting to form in my eyes again as she spoke

If I told Edward I broke up with him because I didn't want to keep him tied down to me, he wouldn't understand. He never did understand how I always thought I wasn't enough for him – how I was sure he could do much better than me – and he certainly wouldn't understand that I didn't want to slow his life down.

If he didn't hate me by now he would after this. He would hate me for what I did to him because he would think it wasn't justifiable.

"He'll hate me." The words left my mouth in a whisper and for a second I wasn't sure if Alice had heard them but she did.

"Maybe but he has at least the right to know it wasn't his fault. He has the right to know that you were trying to spare him of something, whatever that is. He'll listen. He may not forgive you but at least he will know. It has to be better than being completely in the dark or to believe a lie like he does know."

I just stood there looking at her for a few seconds before I could start thinking properly.

She was probably right. I couldn't let Edward think I didn't love him. How had I thought that was a good idea in the first place?

_I could at least tell Edward the truth, right?_ Tell him I didn't break up with him because I didn't love him but because I did.

Because I didn't want him to suffer with me. Because he didn't deserve to have to deal with something that was my problem. He shouldn't have to!

As I didn't say anything Alice took a deep breath and motioned to the living room.

"I'll wait for you in the living room, okay? I'll serve the dinner after." I nodded at Alice and when she left looked at myself in the mirror again.

I looked exhausted and pale. Paler than usual.

Deciding I couldn't dwell on it right now, I took a deep breath and headed to the living room.

My head started to spin as I walked to the couch, forcing me to sit down immediately. I sat down next to Edward and rested my head back on the couch.

I would have to call the doctor as soon as possible.

"Are you okay, Bella?" I turned to look at him, surprised by his question.

"I am. Why?"

"You are pale." I sighed.

"I've just been feeling sick lately. I feel like throwing up."

"Bella?" I simply groaned as I looked at Rosalie. "You've been feeling sick, throwing up and suffering from dizziness, right?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, wondering where she was going with this.

"Yes…"

"Are you pregnant?" My eyes widened immediately and I'm sure my jaw would have hit the floor if it was possibly. I could also feel Edward stiffen beside me and that had me slightly confused.

Realizing everyone was looking at me and waiting for my answer I quickly answered Rosalie's question.

"No, I'm not pregnant." I knew what I had and it definitely wasn't a pregnancy.

I would have to talk to my doctor soon.

"Are you sure?" I rolled my eyes while fighting the urge to throw up.

"Yes, Emmett, I'm sure!"

"Really, really sure?" I nodded. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I did a damn test four months ago, okay? It's impossible for me to be pregnant!" I had done the test when Edward insisted on it and I wasn't pregnant.

"Well four months are long enough to get pregnant." Why were they insisting on this?

"I'm not pregnant, Emmett! I told you, it's impossible for me to be pregnant! I haven't had sex in four months, okay?" That seemed to be enough to shut them up.

Did they really think I would be able to be with another man so soon after I had broken up with Edward? I would probably never feel disconnected enough from him to be able to be with another man.

It was pathetic but it was true…

Encouraged by the fact that everyone seemed to have fallen back into their conversations and that at least the need to throw up had diminished, I sat more upright on the couch and looked at Edward.

It was now or never, I guess

"Edward, can I talk to you?" He looked sideways at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Why? I think we said enough today. What else is there to talk about?" So many things he probably wouldn't want to hear about.

I took a deep breath, trying to push the dizziness that was taking over me away.

"You're right. You don't have to listen to me." I took another deep breath, well aware that everyone was paying attention to us and started to get up. "It'll probably just make you hate me more, anyway."

I got up and started to walk to the door. I couldn't be here anymore.

I heard Edward call me before I reached the door and turned around to look at him but suddenly everything around me went black.

EPOV

I wasn't so sure I should be here anymore. I wasn't so sure I shouldn't have taken that plane and moved to LA so I could get this over with.

All I knew as I climbed the stairs to Alice and Jasper's apartment was that I was probably making a big mistake by walking into the same room as Bella would.

I was afraid of what my reaction once I saw her would be. Seeing her again could either make all that anger I felt towards myself for being so blind come rushing back or it could make me run to her and envelop her in my arms like I did so many times before.

Neither one of those options seemed very good ones to me. I could deal with the first one but I couldn't deal with the fact that if I did end up kissing or touching Bella again she would push me away once more.

Then again maybe she wouldn't show up at all…

Part of me – a small one - wished she wouldn't show up. The rest, though, wished she would. If for nothing else just so I could find out if there really was something wrong with her as Alice seemed to think.

The elevator doors opened as I reached the last step to Alice's apartment and I could immediately recognize Bella coming out of it.

I would recognize her anywhere. Perfect little body, swaying hips, long, brown hair…

She didn't seem to notice me approach her. She was so focused she didn't even notice where she was going and as was typical of her ended up tripping on her own feet.

I managed to grab her before she hit the ground but was forced to pull her up with too much force, which sent her twirling around.

Her back hit the wall behind her as I did so, and I immediately could see her head jerking back.

Gladly I was able to place my hand behind her head before it made contact with the wall. That would have been a painful blow.

Despite myself I was immediately worried with her.

"Are you okay?" She nodded while focusing her attention on me.

"Edward?" I nodded while taking her in.

So beautiful… She was still _so_ beautiful.

I didn't know why that surprised me. Did I expect her to have change in these four mouths or did I expect to not be affect by her anymore?

If that was what I thought, I was very stupid. How could I not be affect by her when she felt so good in my arms? When her big brown eyes were fixed on me and her tongue was licking her pouty lips?

I didn't think she knew she did that when she was nervous…

I suddenly realized she hadn't answered my question. Had she gotten hurt somehow?

"Are you really okay?" She nodded again and I couldn't help but to think of the first time I saw her in that bookstore so long ago.

I had said those exact same words to her…

"What are you doing here?" I took a deep breath. That wasn't what I wanted to hear from her…

I immediately let go of her and buried my hands in my pockets so I wouldn't be tempted into wrapping my arms around her again.

I didn't think she would take that as I welcoming gesture.

"Alice invited me to dinner. I actually didn't think you would show up. I should have guessed…" I tried to sound as detached as possible.

I couldn't let her see throw me right now. If she did, she would know how I still feel about her and that would take us nowhere today.

"Yes, but…" I understood what she meant with that. I should be in LA by now.

I was sure she knew that.

"I haven't gone to LA yet. I still have to take care of a few things here. " She didn't say anything after that so I decided I should get to Alice's apartment before I did something stupid, like kiss her or worse, tell her I still wanted her.

"Maybe we should get in before Alice sends a rescuing mission after us." Alice, after all, was well capable of doing that and much more.

I saw her nod and start walking besides me. She was so close…

She was so close all I had to do was reach out to her and... I shook my head, stopping my train of thought. I couldn't go there…

Once we were in front of the door, I knocked and waited for someone to open it. Jasper was the one who did it and I immediately darted inside the apartment.

Esme would not be proud of my lack of chivalry right now.

Once I was inside the living room Alice immediately grabbed me and pushed me to a corner.

"Did you talk to her?"

"I just got here, Alice."

"I know but you came together so I thought…" I ran my hand through my hair and shook my head.

"Listen, Alice, I don't think I can do this. It was a mistake coming here tonight. She won't tell me anything." And I'll probably just get out of here in worse state than I already am…

"She will, you just have to push her."

"I don't want to push her, Alice! I shouldn't have to! If something is wrong with her she would have told me, not push me away…" I might have said that a little louder than I should but luckily Bella didn't seem to hear us since she was talking to Rosalie.

"You're right. She should be the one to come to you." I shook my head again as Alice started to walk away. "I'll be right back!"

I could already tell this wasn't going to be a good night for me!

I didn't stay alone for too long since Jasper quickly occupied Alice's place next to me. He gave me a drink, I more than needed and started to talk about something.

What he was talking about, I couldn't tell since I kept my attention on Bella and Alice who was now talking to her.

Their conversation was short and Alice walked back to us, huffing, soon after.

All she said to me while she dragged Jasper away was: "Talk to Bella."

I had to huff at that. That was easier said than done.

Why did all this have to be so hard? I shook my head once more and took a sip of my drink. If this night was going to be as bad as I predicted it to be I would need something stronger than this!

And I didn't even _like _to drink…

When I looked up from my glass, deciding I should go talk to my brother, I saw Bella walking towards me.

I raised an eyebrow, wondering where this was going. What would she say?

I remained quiet looking at her and she was the first one to speak.

She seemed a little nervous maybe even uncomfortable. I guess she didn't know exactly where to start this conversation.

"How are you?" It took me a minute to register her question and when I did it made me suddenly angry. That was not what I expected her to ask me.

How did she think I was?

"Are you fucking kidding me, Bella? That's what you have to tell me?" She didn't answer me, like I expected her to, just nodded. "I'm great, Bella. My life is amazing. I couldn't be happier right now." That was surely not what I wanted to say but I couldn't help myself.

I suddenly felt angry at her and not just myself for the first time.

She had taken the love she knew I felt for her and discarded it as if it was nothing – as if it meant nothing to her.

Even if Alice was right and she did it because she wanted to protect me from something, no matter how much I still wanted Bella, I didn't know if I would ever be able to be near her without thinking that there was something she wasn't telling.

Would I ever be able to fully thrust her again?

"I…" She just shook her head.

The fact that she didn't seem to know what to say to me both infuriated and saddened me. We could so easily talk to each other before…

Why had she approached me when she didn't know what to say? I needed time to get my thoughts straight so I could extract some information from her.

I couldn't do it like this.

"Now, just tell me something, Bella. Are you happy?" She didn't seem to fully understand my question.

I wasn't sure if I did myself.

"Happy?"

"Yes. Are you happy now that you succeeded in pushing me away and actually making me feel like I was the most detestable creature in this world? Are you happy now that you made me a horrible company for everyone around me?" I shouldn't be saying this to her but I was… I didn't know why.

Maybe because I was afraid of what she would tell me. I was afraid she would just dig a deeper hole in my wound.

I was beating her to the punch.

"Edward, I didn't want to hurt you so much. I…" I shook my head. I didn't need to hear that right now.

It only made me feel worse about myself.

"You didn't? What did you think it would happen? Did you expect me to take the fact that the woman I love doesn't love me anymore lightly?" It was funny, four months had passed but every time I said those words I felt a knot forming in my throat.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." I didn't doubt she was but pity was the last thing I wanted from her.

"You did get one thing right that day, Bella. I would never want you to keep pretending. I would never want you to be unhappy because of me." I didn't wait to hear her answer to that I just walked away and sat down in the couch near Emmett and Rosalie.

I didn't think she had one to give me anyway.

_I was crazy!_ That was the only explanation.

Why had I accepted to stay in New York when I knew perfectly well I would see Bella?

The truth is that I missed her. Even though I shouldn't but I still did. She was still part of me. I wanted to be close to her. As close as I was allowed to be anyway…

No matter how much I wanted, I just couldn't deny it.

I still loved her. I still loved her as much or more as the day I left home. The amount of mixed feelings I had towards her right now didn't change that.

How was that possible? How could I still love the person who broke my heart and that I knew perfectly well didn't feel the same way for me as I did for her, so much?

How could I still want to hold her in my arms, kiss her, feel her skin against mine so much?

I truly was a damn masochist and probably on my way to becoming bipolar.

I couldn't control myself when she asked me how I was. I didn't want to, because that was certainly not why I had agreed to be here tonight, but I had let her know exactly how I was feeling.

I had done what I didn't want to. I was hurt and because of that I hurt her back.

Alice was wrong and I was here wasting my time. Bella hadn't lied and even if she had, I would never be able to find out why she did it.

She wouldn't tell me after what I had said to her.

I should have already left but I couldn't do it before at least making sure Bella would be alright.

She had disappeared after we had talked and I had to know how she was. Alice seemed to think there was something bad happening to Bella and I had to make sure she was wrong.

Thankfully she came into the room short after. She didn't seem to be alright thought.

As she came to sit down beside me, I couldn't stop myself from portraying my worry.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

"I am. Why?" I thought it was pretty obvious why.

"You're pale." She rested her head back on the couch and sighed.

"I've just been feeling sick lately. I feel like throwing up."

"Bella?" She groaned loudly at Rosalie. "You've been feeling sick, throwing up and suffering from dizziness, right?"

"Yes…"

"Are you pregnant?" It took me a minute to be able to concentrate on Bella's answer. My whole body froze when Rosalie asked her if she was pregnant and I couldn't help my mind from wondering.

We had been through this. She wasn't pregnant.

Unless she had lied to me but she wouldn't do that when she knew I wanted a baby with her.

The only reason for her to lie to me was if the baby wasn't mine…

I shook my head. She wouldn't do that to me, I was sure. Besides, if she was pregnant back then she would be showing by now and she wasn't.

She had told me there was no one else then and I had to believe her.

We only had been apart for four months but if she had been with another man right after that, it was possible for her to be pregnant...

The idea of another man touching her, being with her, made me sick to my stomach. I wanted her to be happy, I really did, and I would be happy for her when one day she got pregnant but at the same time I didn't think I would be able to handle that.

Would I be able to be selfless enough to stand by and watch her create a family with another man when I wished I was the one giving her that? No, I wouldn't be able to. Not when I still loved her so much.

Gladly Bella's voice brought me back to reality.

"No, I'm not pregnant." I felt a wave of relief hit me and took a deep breath.

How pathetic was I?

"Are you sure?" I looked up at Emmett with a raised eyebrow as she answered him.

"Yes, Emmett, I'm sure!"

"Really, really sure?" She nodded. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I did a damn test four months ago, okay? It's impossible for me to be pregnant!"

"Well four months are long enough to get pregnant." Unfortunately it was and if she had been with another man…

"I'm not pregnant, Emmett! I told you, it's impossible for me to be pregnant! I haven't had sex in four months, okay?" Everyone seemed to shut up and get back on their own conversations after that.

So she hadn't been another man yet. That at least gave me some comfort. I knew it shouldn't since sooner or later she would be with another man, but it still did.

I couldn't fully deal with the idea of her sleeping with another man just like I couldn't deal with the thought of being with another woman myself.

Yes, I was definitely pathetic! When had that happened?

I was lost in my thoughts when Bella's voice brought me back to reality.

"Edward, can I talk to you?" I moved a little so I could look at her and raised an eyebrow.

What did she want to talk about? I really didn't want to fight with her again.

I didn't want to hurt her more…

"Why? I think we said enough today. What else is there to talk about?" The truth is that there were a lot of things I wanted to talk about with her – ask her – but it would probably just lead to an even bigger argument…

She stood there looking at me for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and starting to get up.

"You're right. You don't have to listen to me. It'll probably just make you hate me more, anyway." What?

She thought I hated her... How could she think that when it was obviously the last feeling I had towards her?

I had been mad with myself and with her for a second there but hate? I could never hate her.

It took me a minute to react and when I did she had already gotten up.

"Bella, that's not what I meant." She was halfway to the doorway when I called her and got up. She turned to look at me but never actually did it.

She swayed on her feet as I approach her and at first I thought she had tripped on her own feet but quickly saw that wasn't the case.

She fainted...

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Next chapter is all about what's wrong with Bella.


	25. Chapter 24 Revelations

Okay, here's chapter 24!

Bella's ilness is explained in this chapter but please remember I am not a doctor! I just did a little research on the subject.

I hope you like it and thanks to everyone who reviews!

Thanks to Irebporti, as always!

Also, someone nominated this story for the Indie TwiFic Awards. Thank you for that! Go to the site and take a look at your favorite stories.

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**Chapter 24 - Revelations**

EPOV

I managed to catch Bella just before she hit the ground. . She immediately began to shake on my arms.

"What's happening?" Alice's voice came from behind me while I gently placed Bella on the floor.

Her small body kept convulsing while everyone gathered around us.

"Edward?"

"I think she's having a seizure." I immediately rolled Bella onto her side so she wouldn't choke and placed a pillow under her head so she wouldn't hit it. "Emmett, call dad! Now!"

Emmett immediately picked up his phone and started dialing.

"What can we do?"

"Nothing. We have to wait until she becomes conscious. Call an ambulance, Alice." She took off her cell phone right away.

I almost couldn't think straight as Bella's convulsions slowly came to an end. I made sure she was breathing without any difficulties before placing a hand on her cheek.

"Dad says to keep her in place and wait for the ambulance. He'll be waiting at the hospital. Is she okay?" I simply shrugged as I sat on the floor beside her.

Everyone was getting things ready so we could go the hospital as soon as the ambulance arrived.

I could see Alice crying quietly as Jasper tried to keep everyone calm.

"Please wake up, Bella." A knot had formed in my throat as I fought the urge to scream.

I didn't care about anything else but her anymore. I didn't care if I was supposed to be angry with her, if I was supposed to be hurt, or if she had ripped my damn beating heart out four months ago, effectively sending me into an emotional lock down.

The lock down was gone now. Bella needed me and I was once again willing to do anything for her – to help her.

I was suddenly scared, too. I couldn't lose Bella...

Not in a permanent way...

I shook my head, trying to stop those thoughts. Bella would be all right. This wasn't anything serious. With the proper care she would be healthy again soon. She had to…

I kept looking at her, controlling my own breathing and waiting for her to wake up. People who had seizures normally regained their senses rather quickly.

But then again, I didn't really know anything about what was happening to Bella. All I knew is that Alice had been right...

When she did open her eyes to look at me I felt immediately relieved. At least she was awake.

_It had to mean something good, right?_

"Edward..."

"Bella!" She tried to move a little but I didn't allow her to. She should be in this position until the ambulance got here.

"What happened?"

"You had a seizure but everything will be alright. We already called an ambulance." She took a deep breath and nodded sadly.

"I don't want to go to the hospital..."

"Please don't be stubborn about this, Bella. You have to go to the hospital." She nodded again as Emmett got closer to me and leaned in so he could talk to Bella.

"Are you okay, honey?" She looked up at him and slowly nodded before turning her gaze back to me.

When she started to close her eyes again I made her look straight at me.

"Don't close your eyes. Keep talking to me, Bella."

"What do you want me to talk about?"

"Whatever you want!" She seemed to think for a second while she looked around. She seemed so scared and small…

"Edward? I'm so sorry…"

"For what, sweetheart?"

"For hurting you. I…" I placed my thumb in her lips, not allowing her to go on.

I couldn't hear this now. Not when I knew she was scared. Not when I was scared.

Whatever she had to tell me, I wanted her to do it because she thought it was the right time, not because she felt she was obliged to.

Truthfully, I was also afraid of what she had to say. I couldn't stand hearing her say that although she was sorry she had hurt me, she just didn't love me anymore.

I took a deep breath and kept caressing her face as gently as I could.

_Why was that ambulance taking so long_? I was presently fighting the urge of caring her to my car and driving to the hospital myself, but I knew Carlisle was right.

We should wait for those who knew what to do.

"Tell me about the last good book you read." Her eyes welled up and I wiped away the one tear that fell down her cheek before she started to speak again.

I didn't pay much attention to what she was saying as she slowly told me about the last book she read.

I was too concentrated on the feel of her soft skin underneath my fingertips and on the movements her mouth made as she spoke.

It helped calm me down and I needed to be calm more than anything. I couldn't freak out right now. I had to take care of her, keep her awake.

I only moved from her side when the ambulance got here and the paramedics rushed to her side.

I stood there watching as they prepared Bella and took her to the ambulance and only came out of my trance when Emmett placed his hand on my shoulder and shook me.

Bella looked so small and frail like that...

"Edward, are you okay?" I turned around to look at Emmett and slowly shook my head. I could see he was as worried as I was and that scared me even more.

Emmett never worried about anything unless it was truly serious.

"I'm… I'm scared." Terrified… Terrified of losing her again. _Forever this time._

"Everything is going to be okay. Dad will be at the hospital when we get there and Bella will be alright."

"Yes, I know. Let's go."

--

BPOV

The first thing I saw amidst the daze was Edward. He was standing in a corner, leaning in against the wall. He was looking down at the floor and he looked tired, maybe even sad.

Alice was beside him, I noticed, sitting on a chair as Jasper played with her spiky hair. Everyone was here…

I guess I must have passed out again on the way here. I didn't remember anything after I left Alice's apartment in the ambulance.

"Edward…" He immediately looked up and walked towards me when he noticed I was awake. "What happened?"

I saw Alice get up but she didn't walk towards me. She simply stood there looking at us.

"You fainted again. The doctors did a few tests and Carlisle will be here to talk to you soon. I can call someone if you want to, though." I shook my head and moved a little so I could sit up.

One of his hands was immediately on my back, helping me and placing a pillow there so I could lean in against it.

I was about to thank him when Carlisle came into the room, with a stack of papers on his hand, I imagined was my medical record.

He smiled sadly at me while getting closer. Edward immediately moved to the side, away from me.

"Bella I talked to the doctor that attended you and I'm afraid I don't have good news." I nodded while smiling weakly.

"I know, Carlisle." He seemed taken aback by my affirmation as well as everyone else in the room.

"You know?"

"Yes, I do…" Edward took a step forward and I could clearly see the worried look on his face.

"Bella?"

"Will you do me a favor?" He very slowly nodded, not knowing exactly what to say. "There's a phone number in my cell phone of a doctor named William Jackson. Can you call him and tell him that I'm exhibiting symptoms and that I agree with the surgery?"

"Surgery? What surgery?" As I didn't answer him right away he turned his attention to Carlisle. "What's going on, dad?"

"Bella has a meningioma. It's still very small as well as benign and operable." I snorted slightly at the optimistic tone of his voice while shaking my head.

"Yes, but that surgery has risks. Apparently I can lose my memory and even die, of course… And if I make it through it there's a long recovery period…" I could hear Alice gasp as Carlisle came to stand beside me.

"Every surgery has its risks, Bella. I'm sure that if we choose a good surgical team nothing bad will happen to you. You will pull through it but you really have to do it, you can't let it grow."

"I know, Carlisle. Don't worry, I'm well informed about this. I know I can't postpone it anymore." _It was time, I couldn't keep delaying it. I had to do it._

"Bella?" I turned my attention from Carlisle to Edward. "For how long have you know about this?"

I lowered my eyes to my hands and whispered my answer, knowing perfectly well that he would be extremely angry with me.

"I've known about it for a little over five months."

_FLASHBACK_

_I tried to keep listening to the doctor but couldn't concentrate on anything else besides the C.T. imagery in front of me._

_A tumor, a very small one. So small it was almost insignificant. Except, it wasn't._

"_Bella, as you can see there the meningioma is in a relatively accessible area of your brain. If we operate we should be able to completely remove it and you'll more than likely be alright." Should…_

"_And what are the risks of that surgery?" When had my voice become so small?_

"_Well every brain surgery has its risks. The brain is a very sensitive organ so there's the possibility of brain damage, memory loss…" _

"_Or death?" He didn't expect me to ask that right away but nodded anyway,_

"_Yes, there is that possibility but it is very small. As I said, your tumor is located in an accessible area." _

"And when you say brain damage you mean it can range from a tiny thing to me completely depending on somebody else, right?"

"_I'm afraid so, yes…" Without taking my eyes off the C.T. I shook my head._

"_No."_

"_What?"_

"_I don't want the surgery..."_

"_But Bella…" I didn't let him finish._

"_I don't want to do it. What else can I do?" He shook his head and sighed._

"_I don't agree with it but it is your decision. Since it is a small tumor we can monitor its growth. There is a chance it won't grow but if does or if you start experiencing symptoms we will have to operate or it will increase the pressure in your brain and you will die." I nodded._

_At least it would give me more time._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"Five months?" It seemed like everyone had said that at the same time, bringing me back to the present.

I nodded, not taking my eyes off of my hands.

It seemed like a deafening silence had fallen over the room as I left my memories behind. Edward was the first one to speak.

"Five months. Bella, does this have anything to do with…" He didn't finish his question, opting for another one instead but I knew perfectly well what he was going to ask. Did this have anything to do with me breaking up with him? Yes, it did. I didn't want him to have to go through it.

"Why didn't you do anything about it?"

"I did. I've been monitoring it." Edward was clearly going to say something else, probably say that wasn't considered as doing something, but Alice didn't allow him to.

She turned to look at Carlisle with a questioning look on her face.

"What exactly is a meningioma?"

"A meningioma is a type of tumor that develops in the membrane that surrounds the brain. In 90% of the cases it's benign. In Bella's case it is apparently still very small and from what I can tell Bella has only started experiencing symptoms recently, am I right?" I nodded. "How did you discover it?"

"I discovered it when I did a full check up a while ago." Carlisle simply nodded as Alice made another question.

Everyone else in the room seemed to be listening attentively to what Carlisle had to say.

"Is that normal? Not having symptoms for a while, I mean."

"Yes. This meningioma is very small, as I said, they grow on the surface of the brain and they normally don't produce any symptoms until they start to grow, which is apparently what's happening to Bella now.." That damn silence fell over the room again and I could feel everyone looking at me.

I could tell they were all wondering the same thing. They wanted to know why I hadn't said anything to anyone and why I hadn't done anything yet.

"Bella, you have monitored the growth of the tumor so far, am I right?"

"Yes, Carlisle. I didn't want to operate then so Dr. Jackson gave me the option of monitoring it since it was very small. Besides I didn't have any real symptoms. As I said, I only found out about it because I felt dizzy once and Edward made me go to the doctor. Dr. Jackson and I agreed that if it the tumor started to grow of I felt anything out of the ordinary I would operate…" I trailed off, and took a deep breath before continuing, "Immediately." Carlisle nodded while looking at the papers on his hand.

"Yes, monitoring the growth of these tumors is common before surgery. You do have to operate now, Bella. You already made it worse by not acting immediately." Edward kept shaking his head, obviously not satisfied with the fact that I had waited this long to make this decision when I knew it was only worse.

"I don't understand, Bella! Even if the tumor was small why haven't you operated it yet? Surgery is the recommendable treatment in these cases, after all!" The tone of Edward's voice made me flinch slightly. He truly was angry with me.

He didn't understand. I knew he wouldn't…

The damn surgery had more risks than possibilities of success.

I wasn't worried with the prospect of dying. It scared me of course, but the other possibilities did even more.

Brain damage, memory loss… If any of that happened I'd be worthless. I wouldn't be able to do anything… people would have to do it for me

I wouldn't be able to be alone for too long. I would have to rely on other people for everything. I would have to constantly be taken care of. I would be deprived of my memories.

And then there was the long recovery period…

That was why I broke up with Edward before this got to this point. I didn't want to be a burden for him.

By breaking up with him I though I'd be able to spare him. I believed he wouldn't want to be here when this happened and so wouldn't be affected by it, wouldn't suffer.

I was apparently wrong.

He was still here. He was angry at me but he was still here. I wondered for how long…

"Can I just be left alone?" Edward huffed loudly.

"No, you cannot be left alone. You've known about this for five fucking months and haven't done anything. Are you crazy?" The angry and sad tone of his voice made me look up at him as a traitor tear fell down my face.

"Maybe I am…" He shook his head while walking to the door. He turned around to look at me and let me have a piece of his mind.

"What you don't understand is that by not taking care of yourself you're not only making it worse for you but you are also hurting everyone around that loves you, cares for you and didn't want to see you have to deal with the consequences of a stupid decision." As he left I could feel everyone's eyes on me as more tears started to fall down my face.

"Why didn't you tell me anything, Bella?"

"Not now, Alice. Please not just now. I just want to be alone." She nodded sadly and took Jasper's hand as she left the room.

Emmett and Rosalie followed them without a word as I wiped the tears away.

"I'll call your doctor and set everything for the surgery."

"Thank you, Carlisle." He nodded once and left the room.

Edward's words rang in my head. Hurting everyone was the last thing I wanted to do but I was so scared at the time, still was.

I was alone for about an hour after that until my doctor came in to talk to me. Carlisle had called him and he immediately came to tell me what would happen and how things would be done.

I listened to everything he had to say and established a date for the operation. I couldn't run away anymore…

Edward was the first one to come back to my room after the doctor left. He didn't immediately approach me, though.

He stood at the door leaning in against the wall and pinching the bridge of his nose for what seemed hours until I spoke.

"Edward…" He looked up at me, not letting me finish.

"Tell me why you didn't want to operate that tumor five months ago, Bella." I took a deep breath preparing myself for this inevitable conversation.

"Truthfully?" He nodded.

"Always."

"I didn't want to forget. There's the possibility I will and it scared me. It still does. There are so many things I don't want to forget! I want to be able to remember you, remember us. I want to remember exactly how you looked when I first saw you. I want to be able to remember how your crooked smile always managed to make my heart beat faster. I want to remember every second we spent together and every song I heard you play. I want to remember crazy Alice and inconvenient Emmett. I want to never forget the person I was when I was with you and how you could make me feel good about myself." Tears were falling down my face at this point and I couldn't stop them. "I want to remember growing up with my eccentric mother and I want to remember who I am, what I like, which books I read and which songs I love… That's why I didn't do the surgery then. I was trying to make time. I was trying to find a way of not forgetting but it doesn't matter now, I'll have to do the surgery anyway."

He pushed himself off the wall and slowly walked towards me.

He seemed a little taken aback by my outburst but I guess that was more than understandable. I had just thrown that out there.

"It does matter, Bella. You won't forget. I promise you."

"You do?"

"Yes and you know I keep my promises. Especially the ones I make to you. Everything will be alright, you'll see." I nodded, hoping he was right.

He seemed to a little less angry with me after that and slightly leaned in towards me.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier but… Can't you see that by not doing anything you put your own life in risk?" I took a deep breath and nodded.

I didn't want to fight with him again. I didn't have the strength to do it anymore.

"I know, Edward. There's no need to tell me that. I think it has already been established that I was stupid." He took another step towards me and hesitantly ran his fingers along my face, making goose pumps cover all my skin.

"Did you talk to your doctor?"

"Yes, I did. They'll let me go home in a few hours if I promise to behave and don't do anything that requires too much physical effort. I'll go through with the surgery in a week." A week… That was my deadline.

"That's good. I talked to my father and he explained a few things to me about the surgery. He says your doctor is one of the best and he's sure everything will be alright." I tried to smile up at him while leaning in against his touch.

I guess founding out I had a problem in my brain wasn't such a surprise. I never seemed to think like everyone else. Maybe that was the reason.

When Edward stopped touching my face I looked up at him and sighed.

"Well this surely explains a lot, doesn't it?" He raised an eyebrow at me as I shrugged. "I always knew there was something wrong with my head."

"There is nothing wrong with your head!"

"Edward…"

"You know what I mean, Bella. This doesn't change who you are in any way. After the surgery you'll go back to being exactly who you always were. You'll go on being perfect." He placed one of his hands on my neck and massaged it before moving to play with the strands of my hair.

I didn't quite understand why he was doing this – why he was here with me – when he was clearly still hurt by what I did but I had to confess I was grateful for his presence.

I was sure he was just waiting to see how things would go before leaving.

"I'm far from perfect…" He took a deep breath and shook his head.

"I'm not going to discuss this with you now." I nodded, deciding to change the subject before and argument between us started.

I was comfortable with him here with me. I didn't want to spoil it so easily.

"You talked to your father, right?" He nodded. "Okay, I have a question….Will I have to shave my head?"

"A little. Just where the incision will be." He touched my head, showing me where the incision would probably be as I sighed. "It's just hair, Bella. It grows back."

"You used to like my hair."

"I still do. Your hair is beautiful but like I said it'll grow back. You'll be beautiful either way." I once again smiled,

"Thank you, Edward." He moved to brush a fallen strand of my hair away from my face as Carlisle came into the room.

"You're welcome."


	26. Chapter 25 Internal Debates

And here's chapter 25!

Let me know what you think of it. I appreciate your opinions!

As always thanks to Irebporti for putting up with me

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**Chapter 25** **– Internal Debates**

BPOV

Carlisle came in and stood next to my bed, smiling a little.

"I talked to the doctors; you can leave in a few hours, Bella. I want someone to spend the night with you, though."

"That's not needed, Carlisle." The look on his face told me it was indeed needed.

"It is, Bella. You're not staying alone tonight. If that is what you are thinking about doing, I'll make sure you'll say here until the surgery."

"I will stay with her." I looked up at Edward, surprised by his offer.

"Very well. I'll tell the rest of the gang outside to go home. You need rest and quiet right now." Carlisle didn't even allow me to say anything else. He just smiled at me and walked out of the room leaving me alone with Edward.

I stood quiet for a few seconds biting my lower lip until Edward touched my face again and I looked up at him.

I was glad he wanted to stay with me but he didn't need to do it.

"Edward you don't need to do this. You don't need to take me home and..." He didn't let me finish.

"I know I don't. I just want to. Let me take care of you, Bella."

"Can't you understand that's exactly what I don't want you to do, Edward? I don't want you to put your life on hold to take care of me?"

"Put my life on hold? What life? I've been trying – I truly have – but I don't have a life without you on it and I'm certainly not giving up on anything to take care of you. I still have my job here, I have my family... What could I be giving up?" He stopped for a second before going on. "As a friend, Bella, let me take care of you. You need it and I want to do it. We might have been apart for a while but despite everything you're still my friend..."

I could let him do that, right? If the doctor was right and the surgery went well, he wouldn't have to give up anything to stay with me, would he?

He wouldn't have to take care of me for too long as I feared. If the surgery went well, I would be back on my feet quickly enough and then maybe, I could try to have him back.

On the other hand, if the surgery went badly, I would be a burden for him. Having broken up with him wouldn't mean anything; I would be doing exactly what I didn't want to do. I would be forcing him to give up on things he loved just to take care of me.

He wouldn't even have the choice to leave because I knew he would think of it as something he had to do.

I knew the selfish part of me would win this battle. I had spent more than five months, which seemed like two years, without Edward and there was that possibility I wouldn't make it through the surgery so I just wanted to be as close to him as possible.

It was so selfish but I was so weak already. If he was offering, even though we were not together anymore, it meant that keeping me company for a few days wouldn't screw his life up, right?

If he was offering to stay with me when there was no bound between us obliging him to do so. It was because he wouldn't mind, not because he had to.

I had to be optimistic and believe I would make it though the surgery without any problems and no one would have to give up on anything for me.

I nodded once and smiled at him.

"Thank you, Edward."

--

EPOV

After everything at the hospital was taken care of, I took Bella home. She fussed and fought with me when I picked her up so I could carry her into the apartment but she was so tired she had to eventually give up and let me do it.

Or maybe she let me do it because I blew up at her again, letting her know exactly how stupid I thought she had been. She went quiet after that, simply nodding when I asked her if she was okay.

I didn't want to fight with her and felt horrible after doing it but she had to realize what she had done.

I didn't think she had realized how much of a toll the day had taken on her before. She was actually swaying on her feet.

Once I did pick her up, I could immediately feel her body relax in my arms as she cuddled against my chest and so decided to take her straight to bed.

I was sure she could use the rest.

I placed her down on bed and she slowly moved so she was sitting at the edge. She rubbed her eyes once before looking up at me.

I hadn't realized how tired she was, myself. She had deep black bruises under her eyes and she was paler than usually.

It was a wonder how she was able to fight with me on the car about letting me carry her.

It truly had been a long day.

Knowing she would want to be comfortable right now, I started to move so I could give her a little privacy to get dressed but she grabbed my arm and shrugged, letting me know she was willing to let me help her now.

I knew this wasn't wise. I shouldn't do it, not when I still wanted her so damn much but she needed my help. She was actually silently asking for it.

I couldn't let her down.

I took a step towards her and with her help pulled her shirt off before reaching for her pajama's top.

I knew she didn't like sleeping with her bra on but I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable by taking it off, so I helped her put on her tank top before reaching behind her to unclasp the hook of her bra.

She smiled shyly at me and proceeded to take it off while I bent down to take her shoes off.

Shivers were running up and down my spine every time I touched her and I couldn't deny the fact I enjoyed being so close to her. I couldn't dwell on it too much, though. I had to concentrate on taking care of her and making sure she felt as comfortable as possible.

When I reached for the button on her jeans, she lifted her hips up from the mattress so I could pull them off.

I brushed her thighs when I was helping her put her pajama's pants on and saw her close her eyes for a second. I had to take a deep breath when I did so, trying to steady myself.

How could she still have such a strong influence over me?

When she was completely dressed, she lay down on her side, looking at me.

I pondered what to do next. I didn't want to leave her alone but I also didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable by imposing my presence.

Luckily she seemed to know what I should do next.

"Can you stay here with me tonight, please? I don't want to sleep alone." I smiled at her and nodded reluctantly and then proceeded to take my jacket and pants off.

I couldn't say no and leave her alone, even though, I knew it was one of the stupidest thing I could do.

When my clothes were thrown on a chair she gestured for me to get under the covers with her. I wondered for a second if that was the wisest thing to do but even thought I knew it wasn't I moved to lie next to her anyway.

I too lay on my side and wrapped one arm around her, feeling her cuddle against my chest.

It was such an automatic gesture; I hadn't even fully realized I had done it…

"Thank you, Edward. You didn't have to do this."

"You're welcome." I lightly kissed the top of her head while letting her delectable smell take over me.

I briefly thought of all the nights we spent like this, in this same bed, with her cuddled in my arms while I kissed and caressed her skin.

I wanted more than anything to place my hand under her chin so I could pull her in for a kiss.

I wanted to whisper on her ear that I still loved her more than anything. That despite everything and against all logic, my whole world still revolved around her and only her. That all I wanted to do was to keep her safe and close to me forever…

When she lightly gripped my shirt and moved closer to me I started to make circles on her back with my hand and kissed the top of her head once again.

"Are you warm?" A slow nod was the only answer I got and as I started to hum her lullaby, like I used to do almost every night, she quietly drifted to sleep.

I didn't sleep that night, though. I just kept thinking about everything that was happening.

She knew about this for a long time…

She hadn't told me the truth when she should. She opted to lie to me instead.

Could I ever forgive her for that? For not thrusting me and for betraying my trust when I thought my love was secured with her?

No matter how much I still loved her, I didn't know if I could.

I didn't even know why I was thinking about that when she probably wouldn't even want to be with me again when all of this was over. She was just scared now and needed someone to support her…

I was being stupid. After all this was over she would tell me whatever it was she had to tell me and we would go on with our lives.

Nothing would change. She still wouldn't want me back and I would only end up hurt for getting so close to her again but I just couldn't leave her alone now.

I couldn't not be close to her...

Early in the morning, I decided I should get up and maybe make breakfast.

I got up as quietly as I could in order not to wake Bella up and got dressed before walking to the living room.

I almost expected her to have change something, move some things around, but she didn't. Everything was still the same…

The only difference from when I lived here was that the space where my books and CDs used to be was now empty. She hadn't placed anything there.

I wondered why…

My piano was still exactly the same as I had left it that day and I couldn't fight the urge to sit down and lightly run my fingers over the keys.

I missed playing it.

I missed standing in this room, playing the piano while Bella curled up in the coach in a book in her hand.

I missed seeing her smile when she recognized a song or hearing her telling me she thought I was good.

I missed being able to stop playing and join her on the couch. I wanted to still be able to wrap my arms around her, kiss her face, her lips, her neck, her cleavage…

I wanted to still be able to pick her up and carry her to the bedroom so we could finish what we had started…

Shaking my head, I got up and headed to the kitchen trying to forget those thoughts.

Those things would never happen again…

Bella didn't change anything in the kitchen either and so I easily found all I needed to make breakfast.

Before we left the hospital last night, Carlisle told me I should make sure Bella ate well and I intended to do it.

I was just finishing breakfast when Alice came in into the kitchen. She used her key not wanting to wake Bella up in case she was still sleeping, which she was.

"Hi."

"Hi," I greeted her while pouring us some coffee.

"Did she sleep well?" I turned around to look at Alice and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, come on! I know you slept here with her, Edward."

I shook my head and smiled a little. Alice, somehow always knew everything!

"She did. She was more tired than she realized."

"Yes, I can imagine. She had a seizure, after all. That has to take a toll on you..." I nodded while handing her the coffee. "You on the other hand, didn't sleep that well I can tell…"

"I didn't…"

"You've been over-thinking everything, haven't you?" She took a seat at the table in the kitchen and I sat down in front of her.

"I'm afraid I have." How could I not when everything was happening so fast and I could do nothing to prevent any of it?

"Well, at least now you know why she did what she did. It has to be better than wondering…" I furrowed my brow.

I didn't fully understand what she was trying to tell me.

"What do you mean?"

"Edward, this is why Bella broke up with you. She knew she was sick."

"I thought about that but it doesn't make sense, Alice."

"It doesn't but that's exactly what she did. She was scared and confused and she didn't want you to give up on anything to take care of her." I shook my head.

"That's ridiculous..."

"It's Bella we're talking about here, Edward. She had a very peculiar way of thinking." She did but the fact that she wouldn't want me to stay and help her didn't make any sense to me.

"There still has to be something else..." Alice sighed.

"She didn't tell you?"

"She tried to but I didn't let her." She seemed surprised.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to hear it now."

"You haven't forgiven her yet, have you?"

"It's not about forgiveness anymore, Alice. I'm afraid of what I'll hear when we do talk about it and..." I shook my head, not finishing my sentence.

It was not exactly about forgiveness. I could forgive her if she ever wanted that from me. It was about trust...

"Will you move to L.A when all of this is over?" I took a deep breath.

That still seemed like my best option. If Bella told me what I thought she would, I would definitely want to move away.

"Yes, I probably will." I expected her to say something to try to convince me to not do it, but she didn't. She just nodded.

"Yeah. You know, I can't believe she never told anyone about this." I just shook my head.

I was still mad at Bella for doing that, for not taking care of herself but after talking to her I understood a little more.

"She was scared, Alice." Alice nodded.

"I know but I wish she had told me. I could help her that way."

"Yes, but she still needs you so..." She smiled and nodded again.

"I know and I'm here for that! She will need you too, Edward."

"And I'm here as well. For as long as it is needed." She just needed to let me take care of her and I wouldn't leave until she was back on her feet.

After that… Well, after that we would see. I had a whole new life waiting for me in L.A. A whole new life I would have to get used to…

Alice stayed with us for a few more hours, until Bella woke up and they got the chance to talk.

I left them alone, not wanting to intrude but I was sure their conversation was centred on Bella apologizing for not telling Alice anything sooner.

BPOV

I tried to explain everything to Alice. Why I was afraid, why I didn't tell her anything… I could tell she was hurt but for most part she understood my point.

She also thought I was crazy and quite possibly stupid but I guess that by now and after the conversation I had with Edward that was a taken point…

I was quite surprised when he didn't go with Alice. I guess he was here to stay until later.

I was always waiting for the moment when he would leave, though.

I wondered if it would be when he found me sitting on the bathroom floor, throwing up but it obviously wasn't.

He would never leave while I was like this… Not even if I told him too.

"Bella, are you okay?" He pulled my hair back and sat down beside me on the cold floor.

I simply shook my head while trying not to cry and fighting the urge to scream and push him away. I didn't want him to see me like this.

When he lightly touched my face the tears started to fall down my face.

"I'm so tired, Edward. I don't want to keep doing this anymore." I almost expected him to tell me that if I had done what I should already, I wouldn't have to but of course he didn't.

He placed his hand under my chin, making me look straight at him.

"I know but it will all be over soon. After the surgery you'll be completely healthy again."

"Will I?" He smiled assuredly at me while tracing my face with his fingers.

It felt so damn good I didn't resist the urge to lean in against his touch. If he had held me last night, he wouldn't mind me doing this, right?

"So what do you say to a warm bath? I can get the water running for you, if you want." I nodded and smiled as best as I could.

I needed to brush my teeth first.

"Come on. Alice will be back soon and you know she'll bring everybody with her." I rolled my eyes and huffed. She definitely would.

"Is she still mad at me?" He shook his head while turning the water on.

"No. She's just a little worried but that's normal." I nodded at him as he left the bathroom so I could take my clothes off and get in the bathtub.

Only when my body was completely covered with soapy bubbles did he come back. He sat on the edge of the bathtub telling me what Carlisle had shared with him about my surgery.

He seemed confident. Too confident. I wasn't half as optimistic as he was.

What if something went terribly wrong and my worst fears came true? What would happen then?

Who would sacrifice everything just to take care of me? Would Edward be the one doing that even though that was the last thing I wanted him to have to do?

I shook my head, trying to clear my mind from those thoughts and simply concentrated on Edward's voice and how it was almost melodic.

I couldn't help but to notice that he kept his eyes on my face or in the wall behind me, never letting them trail down my body like he usually did.

As weird as it sounds, I almost wanted him to check me up. If for nothing else just so I could know that he was still a little bit attracted to me.

Of course he never did and I had to remind myself that our relationship now was only based on the fact that I was sick and that Edward was such a good guy he wanted to help me.

He was here to help me and nothing else.

He was here even though I hurt him beyond what I could imagine…


	27. Chapter 26 Time Has Come

Here's chapter 26. I hope you like it.

Thanks to my wonderful beta

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**Chapter 26 ****– Time Has Come**

Time flew by. Before I knew it, it was the night before my surgery. I was nervous — very nervous — but things had gotten to a point where I just wanted to get it over with.

Since everyone found out I was sick, they all seemed to be much more careful with me than before. They tried not to show me they were worried but failed miserably.

Alice would practically follow me everywhere I went. Rosalie and Jasper would call me several times a day and Emmett was always looking over my shoulder to see what I was doing.

I loved them but they were starting to make me feel overwhelmed…

Everyone was now standing in my living room, talking and laughing in an attempt not to let me think about it.

Their attempts at distracting me weren't really working.

I kept thinking about the surgery and especially that possibility I wouldn't make it through unharmed.

I looked at Edward, sitting to my right and could immediately tell he had been studying me. I knew he could tell I was worried and that not even with everyone here I could forget my worries.

He had been very careful with me lately as well, but had managed not to make me feel like I was made of glass and could break into a million pieces at any second.

"I'm hungry." I turned my attention to Emmett and laughed_. __Of course he was!_

"When are you not hungry, Emmett?" He smiled brightly at Rosalie and winked suggestively.

"When I'm busy with you, Rose." Jasper immediately got up, faking disgust.

"Okay, we do not need to hear about that!"

"Jasper is right. Let's make something to eat before Emmett starts sharing intimate stuff with us. I'm hungry too." Alice got up and headed to the kitchen, taking everyone with her.

Only Edward and I stood in the living room, looking at each other.

I suddenly felt a knot form in my throat and found myself wanting to tell him how I truly felt.

I had never been able to lie to him except for that one horrible day when I told him I didn't love him and always found myself wanting to tell him everything that was happening to me.

Not being able to share my thoughts with him or tell him about things that happened for the last five months had made many of them not real at all for me…

"Edward?" I turned my attention down to my hands, not really feeling brave enough to look directly at him now.

"Yes?" I took a deep breath, gaining the needed courage to tell him how I felt and what I hadn't fully admitted to myself yet.

"I'm scared…" The words left my mouth but I couldn't look up at him. I kept my attention on my hands until he came to stand in front of me and knelt down.

He stood between my legs and put one of his hands under my chin making me look straight at him.

"Bella, you don't have to be afraid. Everything will be okay." I stood still, looking at him and enjoying the fact he was so close.

I still didn't expect him to come comfort me when I needed but it did make me feel safer.

He traced my cheek and chin with his fingers and I couldn't help but to lean into his touch still confused by the fact that he didn't seem to be ready to pull back.

"What if it doesn't? What if something goes wrong?"

"It won't. Nothing will go wrong. Don't you trust me?" I looked into his green eyes, realizing that I still trusted him more than I had ever trusted anyone else.

"I do." He smiled as I closed my eyes and leaned in, burying my face on his neck.

The tears that had formed in my eyes started to fall down my face, wetting his shirt but not even then did he pull back.

He held me close, letting me to cry.

"We'll all be there, sweetheart. We'll be waiting for when you wake up." I nodded.

There was still something else that bothered me.

"I have to put a name down tomorrow. A person who will make the decision in case anything goes wrong, or if they need to do something, since my father is not here." I felt him nod and kiss the top of my head, encouraging me to go on. "I thought about the girls but I don't want to put their names down. I want to put your name down because you're the one who was always there for me. You're the one I could always count on…"

I knew what I was doing was extremely selfish. I was asking the man I loved and left to be there for me but I needed someone I trusted. I needed someone I knew would make the right decision for me in case anything went wrong.

"You can put my name down."

"What?" I pulled back to look at him through my tears and he nodded.

"You can put my name down. It's okay." I couldn't quite believe he was willing to do this for me.

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely. I'm sure I won't have to do anything, though. You'll pull through without any problems."

"But if I don't, will you make the decision? I know the others won't." I needed to know he would.

He wiped some of my tears away while clearly thinking about what I had just asked him.

"I will. Tell me what you want." I weighted my options for a while before answering him.

"I don't want to be hooked to machines for who knows how long so if something happens that will lead to that you have to say no." He immediately shook his head.

"If that happens, which it won't, I can't just say no. You have to have some time to recover. I can't just give up on you like that." I shook my head, knowing where that would lead.

"No. If something happens, you say no. I don't want to be a vegetable…" I could tell he was ready to tell me no so I pressed our foreheads together and whispered. "Please, Edward. Please…"

Hi took a deep breath and fixed his eyes on mine. He was looking for something in them… I didn't know what or if he found it.

"Okay…"

"You promise?

"Yes, Bella. I promise. You have to promise me you'll fight, though. You won't let anything happen to you. You won't let me have to make that decision." I smiled at him and nodded.

"I promise." I pulled a little back and he leaned in so he could kiss my forehead before lightly kissing the corner of my mouth.

My breath hitched and not wanting to show him that, I rested my head against his shoulder again.

While standing there, in that position, I suddenly felt the need to tell him everything. Tell him the whole truth.

There was a possibility I wouldn't make it through the surgery and I didn't want to die without telling him everything…

I pulled back to look straight at him and brushed my fingers along his perfectly defined jaw line.

"Edward, I need to tell you everything that happened five months ago." He immediately placed a finger on my lips, shutting me up.

"Don't." I furrowed my brow but decided I needed to go on.

"No, listen. I need to tell you why I broke up with you, why I told you I didn't love…" He didn't let me go on.

"Shh. I don't want to hear it." I took a deep breath, feeling somewhat confused.

I knew there was the probability he wouldn't want to hear me. I knew I might have hurt him so much that he simply didn't want to be so close to me again.

I blinked back the new tears that formed in my eyes while finding my voice again.

"You don't?" He shook his head.

"No." I very slowly nodded, feeling a tear roll down my face before he wiped it out. "I don't want to hear it now. I want you to tell me everything after you wake up from your surgery. I'll be ready to listen to whatever you have to say then." I felt a small smile form in my lips and once more leaned into him.

His lips brushed very lightly against mine and I closed my eyes, willing myself to forget everything around me and simply enjoy his touch even if I didn't know why he was touching me.

He suddenly pulled back, making me get up with him.

Once up he wrapped his arms around my waist like he did so many times before, pulling me towards him.

He kissed my cheek and then placed his lips near my ear.

I wish I knew what was going through his mind right now.

"I want to know everything. I want to fix things between us, if possible, and I want us to at least be friend. If you want to tell me. If you want to…" He paused for a minute and I could feel his breath on my neck, making me shiver. "If you want to be near me, in any way, you'll pull through that surgery and when you're recovered you'll tell me."

I placed my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat and thinking that, if for nothing else, I would make it through this just to tell him I still loved him.

I knew he probably didn't feel the same way for me anymore after everything that I did but I still needed to tell him. I needed him to know…

I needed him to be able to make an educated decision whether he wanted to be with me again or not.

"I will." He ran his hands up my back to my face and brushed his lips against mine once more while he spoke.

I wanted to lean in and really kiss him.

"I'll be waiting." I nodded and we stood there for a while until everyone came back to the living room.

I sat down on the couch, not really listening to the conversation around me.

When it got too late everyone started to leave and Alice came to ask me if I needed anything.

"Do you want me to stay tonight?" She had taken over the place Edward had occupied the first night I came home from the hospital and had been staying with me.

I got the feeling she thought she didn't need to stay with me tonight.

"No. I'm okay, Alice."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. I'll be alright." She nodded and kissed my cheek before stepping out.

I looked around to see Edward standing behind me. He was the only one left.

"Are you really going to be alright?"

"Yes." He stepped closer to me and reached out to play with a strand of my hair and as I looked at him, I once more found myself wanting to tell him the truth. "No."

He smiled weakly while I turned my attention to my hands.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" I wasn't brave enough to look at him or talk so I just nodded.

He stepped even closer to me and kissed my forehead.

"Let's do it like this. I'll go home pick up some clothes and be back here in about twenty minutes, okay? I'll go with you to the hospital in the morning." I smiled. Yes!

"Okay." He kissed my forehead once again before walking to the door.

I grabbed his hand before he could leave and made him look at me.

"Thank you, Edward, and I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" For everything I did to you…

"For keeping you here."

"You don't have to apologize. If I didn't want to stay, I wouldn't have offered." He showed me his crooked grin before disappearing.

I felt happy somehow and safe too. I knew he would be back soon and that made me feel like nothing could go wrong.

As promised, twenty minutes later he was back and soon enough I found myself falling asleep in his arms.

"Edward?" My voice was deep with sleep already.

"Yes?"

"Thank you." He kissed the top of my head and picked me up from the couch so he could carry me to the bedroom.

"Anytime." He lay me down on bed and I reached for his arm, making him lay down next to me.

Less than five minutes later I was fast asleep, warm and safe.

EPOV

Once more I found myself willingly staying the night with Bella.

She was scared, I knew that perfectly well, but what surprised me was the fact that she confessed that to me.

I expected her to put on a brave façade and go through that surgery as if it was nothing but, as always, she surprised me by asking for my help. And like always, I couldn't deny her that.

I could deny her anything even if I wanted to…

At least staying here tonight gave me the opportunity to see how she was doing and try to prepare her for tomorrow.

Of course, she was fast asleep five minutes after I got here but that gave me the chance to be close to her for at least one last time.

Maybe that was why I ended up comforting her and brushing my lips against hers tonight. After tomorrow, she would start her recovery and things would go back to normal.

I would move to LA and she would go on with her life.

Tonight was my goodbye…

I feel asleep, with Bella in my arms, around one am only to wake up shortly after to find out Bella wasn't sleeping beside me like I thought she was. I had to confess that scared me more than it should.

Despite her efforts to hide it, I knew she wasn't feeling all that well last night so I immediately got up and went looking for her.

The state in which I found her made my heart sink.

She was sitting on the bathroom floor, leaning against the wall. She had obviously thrown up and even though she had her eyes closed I could see the bags under them.

She looked exhausted and so small…

I immediately walked towards her and knelt down beside her. She slowly opened her eyes to look at me and sighed.

She truly wasn't well.

"Bella, love, what happened?" I brushed the hair away from her face and she leaned in against my touch.

She had a fever.

"I threw up and just got so tired. I couldn't get up…"

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I didn't want to wake you up." I shook my head and kissed her forehead while wrapping my arms around her slender form so I could pick her up.

"You should have called me, Bella." She just whimpered and laid her head on my shoulder as I got up with her in my arms.

I lay her down on bed and whispered in her ear.

"I'll be right back." I quickly went to the kitchen so I could give her something to decrease her fever and take the bitter taste from throwing up out of her mouth.

When I got back she was still in the same position I had left her on, and only moved when I made her.

Once she drank the water, she lay back down and I moved so I was lying beside her.

I traced her face with my fingers and she sighed.

"Edward, why are you still here?" I furrowed my brow.

Was I supposed to be somewhere else?

"What do you mean?"

"Shouldn't you be working? Your bosses in LA can't be too happy about this…"

"They gave me a few more days to decide if I really want the job or not. If you don't want me here I can go away, though."

"No. I don't want you to leave but I don't want you to stop your life because of me either. I don't want you to waste away with me…"

"Bella, no one is going to waste away here. You'll be fine and once the surgery is over you can go on with your life." She nodded slowly and went quiet.

She kept on biting her lower lip and I knew that meant she had something on her mind.

I wished I knew what it was…

"It's so funny. You're still around after all this time, after everything I did!" It was true.

I was still here, despite everything. Why couldn't I just leave?

"Yes. It seemed like no matter how much I try to run away I always end up here. I guess I'm meant to stay here for a little longer." She nodded and gripping my shirt moved closer to me.

She buried her face on my chest and it wasn't long until she was fast asleep again.

I spent the rest of the night awake.

---

Once the morning came I helped her prepare for the surgery happy I had talked to Carlisle and could answer some of her questions.

I drove her to the hospital in almost complete silence and once there I saw her talk to the doctor. I saw her signed some papers. I saw her put my name down as the person who would make the decisions if something went wrong.

I watched as she hugged Alice and Emmett when they got here.

I watched as they prepared her for the surgery. I listened as she told Alice she had a bad feeling about this, knowing perfectly well that death wasn't what scared her. The possibility of losing her memories was what terrified her.

I could understand that perfectly well. I wouldn't want to forget either.

I wouldn't know who I was without the memories of growing up with Emmett or falling in love with her…

It was as if everything was happening in a parallel dimension, where I could only watch. Where I couldn't intervene or do anything to change the course of what was happening…

In all reality, I really couldn't do anything…

I stood there in her room until they asked us to leave but before I could leave I had to tell her something.

I had to let her know I would be here once she woke up.

I cupped her face in my hands and leaned in so I could, for at least one last time, press my lips to hers.

I kissed her as softly as I could, afraid that I was breaking some rule that defined our new relationship, whatever that relationship was, or making her uncomfortable. She didn't pull back, though, so I figured I was allowed to kiss her.

When we pulled back I looked straight at her and whispered.

"I'll be waiting, Bella." She smiled weakly at me and I knew she understood me.

I would be waiting to get her back and to know everything…

* * *

Also, if you have the time and are bored like me please read my one-shot 'Half Spoken Reassurances'. I need some feedback on that one.

Thanks!


	28. Chapter 27 Full Disclosure

Chapter 27!

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review this so far and I hope you like this one.

Thanks to my wonderful Beta!

****

* * *

Chapter 27 – Full Disclosure

EPOV

I was tired… I was tired of waiting. I didn't want to stand in this room, waiting, anymore.

I wanted to know if the surgery had been successful. I needed to know if Bella was alright.

How much longer until they let us know anything?

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, looking around the room. Alice and Rosalie were sitting together, anticipation visible in their posture, while Jasper and Emmett tries to play a random game of cards.

Neither of them was paying attention to the game, though. They were just randomly throwing cards at the table…

I couldn't seem to remain sited so I simply leaned in against the wall, my head thrown back while waiting for some information.

It was funny how I never thought of myself as an impatient person before but right now I hated having to wait…

Gladly my waiting was cut short by Bella's doctor coming in the room.

We all moved closer to him at the same time, Alice practically tackling him.

She didn't even give me enough time to be the one asking the questions.

"What happened? Is Bella okay? Was the surgery successful? Please tell me nothing bad happened!" The doctor seemed momentarily taken aback by Alice and her capacity of uttering so many questions but quickly recollected himself.

"The surgery was for the most part successful."

"For the most part?" Once again Alice beat me to the punch. Would I be able to get a word in this conversation?

"Yes. Bella scared us there for a second but everything is fine now." Alice nodded and looked up at me, urging me to be the one talking from now on.

"What…" I cleared my voice. "What about her memories?"

"As I said the surgery was successful and right now there's no indication that she has lost her memory but we'll only be sure once she wakes up."

I swallowed hard. The doctor seemed optimistic but what if Bella had lost her memory?

_What would happen then? How would I be able to help her?_

"I don't know which one of you is Mr. Edward Cullen…" The doctor looked down at the dossier in his hands.

"It's me."

"Very well. She put your name down so I'm guessing you'll be the first person she'll want to see once she wakes up. We'll move her to a private room soon and then you can keep her company." I nodded and he went on. "When she wakes up, I want you to call me and test her memory with simple things she should know like names or addresses."

I assured him I would do so and about half an hour later, after calling Carlisle and Esme to tell them the news, I was taken to Bella's room.

She was lying down on the bed, still sleeping and with a few machines monitoring her state.

The area of her head where the incision was made was protected and she, at least, seemed peaceful. I guess she needed the rest, even if it was imposed.

I sat down on the chair next to her bed, simply looking at her and once more waiting…

She was pale and had bags under her eyes but she was still beautiful. Beautiful and healthy I hoped…

I closed my eyes for a second and only opened them when I heard Bella moving.

She was waking up.

"Bella?" I immediately moved so I was standing next to her bed, hovering over her. "Bella, are you okay?" She very slowly nodded while opening her eyes.

"Yes…Where am I? What happened?"

"You're at the hospital. You just got out of surgery. How do you feel?" She looked around and tried to sit down but I didn't allow her.

She had to stay still.

"I'm a little disoriented to say the truth..." I nodded, praying that was normal and not some sign something had gone wrong.

"Do you remember me, Bella? Do you know who I am?" She looked blankly at me for a few seconds and my heart almost dropped to the floor right there and then, before a small smile appeared on her face.

"Edward…" Relief washed over me as I realized that she did remember. "How could I forget you when you told me you would be waiting?" I smiled brightly again and before I even realized what I was doing, I was lightly cupping her face in my hands and my lips were pressed against hers.

Just like before the surgery she didn't pull back and I took it as a good sign.

I smiled down at her when we pulled back and run my thumb along her lower lip.

_She had made it through this!_

"I have a somewhat crazy brother. What's his name?" She rose and eyebrow at me. "The doctor told me to test your memory so…"

She nodded and smiled.

Her shaky hand came to touch my face and I once again couldn't help myself and leaned in against her touch.

"Emmett. I remember Alice, Rosalie and Jasper too." I smiled at her and once more leaned in so I could softly kiss her.

She would be alright, we would be alright…

--

Since Bella left the hospital about a week after her surgery, Emmett, Alice and I had been spending our days with Bella.

We alternated between us when it came to staying the night but since I was the only one who didn't have to work, I spent almost all my time with her.

I thoroughly enjoyed the company…

I had done my part, though. Bella was recovering well. She was on her way to being healthy again.

It was time for me to stop imposing my presence on her.

Besides, I had to get back to work. My bosses weren't so pleased with me anymore, I was sure.

I climbed the stairs to Bella's apartment and knocked on the door only to find out it was opened.

Emmett came to greet me in the hallway and took me to the kitchen where he told me about Bella's day so far.

No set backs. Bella was fine so far.

I wondered how she would take the news of my leaving...

"Emmett, will you do me a favor?" He raised an eyebrow at me but nodded.

"Of course, man. What is it?"

"Will you take care of Bella?"

"What do you mean?" I took a deep breath and ran my hand through my hair.

"You're moving to LA?" I nodded. "What do you expect me to do, Edward? Send you a message every now and then when something great or bad happens in Bella's life? Will you handle me telling you that, I don't know, she has a new boyfriend for instance?" I swallowed hard.

No, I didn't want him to tell me that. The fact I would be thinking about it was enough already.

"You don't need to tell me anything. I just want to make sure there will be someone looking over. Please, Emmett, just make sure she is okay. Take her to the damn doctor every month if it's needed. Make sure there is nothing wrong with her, that you are there when she needs you and that she is happy…" If she was happy, it was all that mattered.

"I will take care of her. You didn't even have to ask, I would do it anyway."

"I know that's why I asked you and not someone else." I could clearly tell he didn't agree with my decision but I knew he wouldn't push it.

He handed me some coffee but I refused it.

"Have you told Bella you are moving?"

"No, not yet."

"Why not?" Because I didn't want to say goodbye even if I didn't have any other choice.

I opted not to directly answer his question.

"I'll tell her today." He pointed to the living room as if telling me this was the perfect time for me to do it.

With a deep breath I nodded and left the kitchen in search of Bella.

She was sitting on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her and a book on her lap.

She was looking better but she still seemed so small…

Looking at her I was once again overcome by that feeling of not wanting to leave her. That need to be as near as her as possible.

I needed to learn how to fight that feeling – that need – if I ever wanted to be able to go on with my life.

I made my way towards Bella and sat down next to her, taking several deep breaths to control myself.

She smiled brightly at me when I did so but I couldn't find it in me to smile back

"Hi."

"Hi. How are you today?"

"I'm very good. I don't feel so tired anymore." I nodded, happy she was feeling better and better every day.

"That's great, Bella." She nodded but raised an eyebrow at me. She knew there was something wrong.

I always thought I could read her easily but the truth was that to her I was a damn open book. I couldn't hide anything from her even if I wanted to.

"I came here to see if you were alright and to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" I nodded, trying my best to smile a little.

"Yes. I'm moving to LA tomorrow." Before I could see her reaction she turned her attention down to her hands.

I wanted to reach out and touch her face again, ran my hands through her soft and long hair but controlled myself.

"Stay…" She said that in a whisper and for a second I wasn't sure if I had heard her right.

"What?" She looked up at me and whispered again.

"Please stay. I don't want you to go." I didn't know what to day to her.

I hadn't expected her to ask me to stay

Her request made my resolution to go rock a little, because I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay with her, hold her and take care of her until she was healthy again.

I couldn't, though… Things would never be the same between

"Bella…"

"I know I don't have the right to ask you this, that I'm just being selfish but please stay! I need you here."

"I can't, Bella. I can't…" If I stayed here I wouldn't be able to forget and move on. I would be forever stuck on her…

"Can we just talk?" I very slowly shook my head.

"No. I'm sorry but I don't think I can do that."

"Please, Edward, trust me. I need you to hear this." I made a face at that and shook my head and she immediately understood why I couldn't stay.

"That's the problem, isn't it? You don't trust me anymore…"

"I'm sorry, Bella, but you used the way I feel for you against me and I don't know how fast I can forget that that easily…"

"That's all right. You have all the right not to trust me after all I did." She curled into a little ball in her place and rested her head on her knees.

I could see the tears falling down her face and immediately felt a pang in my heart. I didn't want to be the one making her cry.

I didn't want her to cry at all. I wanted her to be happy.

"Bella, please don't cry."

"Can we talk then?" With a deep breath I nodded.

I couldn't run away form this anymore…

BPOV

"Sure." The way he said it and looked away from me made me think that maybe we couldn't.

He really didn't trust me.

"That's okay if you don't want to hear it. I understand. I just wanted you to know the truth."

"No, that's not it. I want to hear it. I want to know and I want to be able to trust you again. I just don't know if I can do it now…" He moved closer to me and cupped my face in his hand. "I want to know you are fine first. I need to know I'm capable of dealing with whatever it is you have to say. And I don't want you to tell me whatever it is simply because you feel like you owe me something because you don't. You don't have to apologize for breaking up with me because maybe in the long run that was the best thing to do."

_Was it? Could __h__e really believe that?_

Was our break up the best for him? Was he really better off without me? He probably was…

"You think that?"

"Yes, Bella. I mean…" He let go of my face and took a deep breath. "It broke me completely, especially because I somehow didn't see it coming, but I wouldn't want you to be tied up to me if you didn't love me. I wouldn't want you to be unhappy. It was not right or fair for you to stay by my side when you didn't feel the same way about me as I did about you." So that was it.

He still thought I didn't love him. He had truly believed me when I told him I didn't want him.

How was that possible? I still wondered how he could have believed me so easily when I had told him I loved him and showed him I wanted him so many times before.

"No Edward! You've got it wrong…"

"Do I?" I nodded repeatedly.

"I… I was stupid, really stupid then. I thought I was doing the right thing but now I see that maybe I wasn't. The truth is that I was scared!" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath while trying to fight the tears that were threatening to fall down again. "I've been merely surviving, instead of living, for the last five months and to know that you have been too just killed me. That's not what I wanted. It was not my intention…"

"I know but…" He took a deep breath before continuing. "What were you scared of?"

"So many things!" So many I couldn't even think straight at the time.

"Tell me."

"Scared that you would finally realize that I was nothing special, nothing compared to you and would, I don't know… leave me."

He suddenly seemed angry at me and… hurt.

"So you beat me to the punch? Is that it? Is that what that crazy head of yours came up with?" I looked down at my hands and took a deep breath.

That wasn't what I was trying to do at the time. This was the time for me to tell him exactly why I broke up with him.

"Listen, Edward. There are three reasons why I broke up with you." He ran his hands through his hair and nodded.

"As if one wasn't enough…Okay, go on. I'm listening." Knowing that if I didn't say anything right now I wouldn't ever be able to do it I started to speak.

"First, I found out I was sick and that scared me. I didn't know what was going to happen and so I didn't want to put you through it. As far as I knew I could die and I didn't want you to deal with that while we were together. And even if I didn't die you shouldn't have to…" I stopped for a second and he took the opportunity to speak.

"You know that if I knew you were sick I would stand by you and I would take care of you, right? It's ridiculous to think I would be better off without you just because you were sick or that I would ever leave you because of that! I mean… this is what I've been doing all this time!"

"I know, Edward, I know but that was what I was thinking at the time. I was scared and confused and that was how my mind was working." He shook his head and looked straight at me before almost whispering.

"You could have talked to me. You should have trusted me." I simply nodded not knowing what to say. When I didn't say anything he went on. "You said there were three reasons. What are the other two?"

This was harder than I thought it would be but now that I had started I had to go on. I owed Edward that.

"Well, there was the job in L.A you wouldn't take…" He didn't even let me finish my sentence.

"The job? That doesn't make sense! You knew you weren't the only reason why I had decided not to take the job. I wanted to stay here and the only reason why I thought about taking it after you broke up with me was because I didn't think I would be able to be close to you knowing you didn't want to be with me."

"I know but deep down I always felt like I was holding you down. I felt like I was the main reason why you wouldn't take that job."

"Bella, you said you would go with me if I wanted to and you knew I would have the same job here once they opened the office…" I knew all of that but at the time I couldn't seem to be able to think straight.

"Yes, I know! I didn't say they were very good reasons…" They had seemed to be at the time but know that I was telling him why I left him; I wasn't so sure they were anymore.

Maybe these five months had made me grow up and realize I had been stupid to let my insecurities get the best out of me and lead me to push Edward away.

"I'm sorry, Bella but so far they really aren't!" I diverted my eyes away from him and sighed.

Only when I felt his hand lightly brush against mine, which was resting on my leg, did I look up.

He looked hurt and that made me want to run away and hide. Seeing him hurt was the last think I wanted.

"What's the third reason?"

"Tanya…" He didn't even say anything just took a deep breath to calm himself and motioned for me to go on. "She made me realize how inadequate I was for you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He seemed exasperated as well…

"Don't you look at mirrors at all? You're beautiful and flawless and I don't just mean physically. You're an amazing person as well and I'm just plain Bella."

"You're not plain, Bella. I'm not perfect and you know that Tanya is a bitch. I asked you not to let her get to you."

"Yes, but seeing her…" I shook my head while remembering that day. "She is stunning and in my mind you should be someone like that. Someone who had a great personality and was beautiful and by whose side you could stand proudly."

"Can't you understand that person was and to some extent still is you? You're beautiful, stunning and breathtaking and you don't even notice it! You're the best person I know. How many times did I tell you that? To me you are perfect as you are, you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and from the moment I met you no one else mattered. I could never love anyone else like I loved you." His words hit me like a brick in the face.

He had always been there for me. He spent more than a year, trying to make me overcome my insecurities, trying to show me just how much he loved me and I had left him down…

There was nothing I could say or do to make it better now.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I was stupid…" Without my permission the tears were running down my face for the second time this afternoon and I didn't move to wipe them away.

"Yes, you were very stupid…" I watched as he ran his hand through his hair. "So stupid you blew it all…"

I closed my eyes for a second as the realization I truly had messed everything up hit me.

He would leave. The cut was too deep for him to stay.

He didn't love me anymore, he said so himself. I could never love anyone else like I loved you… Loved you, not love you…

"I'm sorry, Bella, but I have to be alone for a while. I need to think." I opened my eyes but before I could say anything he was out the door, leaving me alone.

I didn't even listen to his last words.

I had made a mess out of things…

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I think it's safe to say this story is approaching its end. I hope you stick around for it.


	29. Chapter 28 Forgiveness

Here's chapter 28.

This story is nearing its end. There's one more chapter after this one and then the epilogue. I hope you stick around for it.

As this story is almost ending, I started a new one and may have another one up soon. It's called Midnight Train and its E/B again, in case you want to read it. I would appreciate the feedback if you have the time.

Thanks to everyone who keeps reading this!

* * *

**Chapter 28 - ****Forgiveness **

EPOV

I got up, running my hands through my hair and walked to the door.

I couldn't stand there watching her like this right now or listening to those things. I need to clear my thoughts and make a decision.

Emmett was still here, she wouldn't be alone.

"I'll be back later, Bella. I need to be alone for a while. I need to think." I didn't turn around to see her reaction.

I couldn't…

I got into my car and drove without any direction in mind. Driving aimlessly was one of the few things that helped me calm down.

I needed to put my thoughts in order and this was the only effective way I knew of doing it.

I had to turn off the radio, though. It seemed like every song that came on was trying to tell me something and I didn't know how to deal with that.

I stopped at a deserted road, much like I had done five months ago when Bella broke up with me.

The emotions coursing through my body right now were completely different from the ones haunting me that day.

That day I felt lost, broken, destroyed, empty… The list was never ending.

Today I felt… confused. But today I also knew that Bella had done it because she was scared. She broke up with me because she thought she was doing the right thing.

She thought she was holding me down…

I shook my head at the absurdity of that though. She was the best thing in my life, how could she ever hold me down?

I rested my head back on the car sit and allowed myself to think through what Bella had told me today.

She was sick and scared and didn't tell me because she thought I shouldn't have to take care of her when I gladly would.

I asked her countless of times not to let Tanya get to her but she did. I told her I was okay with not getting the job in LA but she didn't believe me…

I failed every time I tried to make her realize just how wonderful she is, probably because even thought I knew she loved me she didn't exactly love herself and my love for her, as sincere as it was, could never be enough for both of us.

As much as I wanted I could not love her for herself. That was her job and something she had to work on.

I wish she could have told me everything that was bothering her back then so I could at least help her. Hadn't I told her enough times how I felt about her? Hadn't I showed her that she could trust me? Didn't she know I would stand beside her no matter what?

I forced myself not to think about it in that way. I knew she trusted me. The main problem was that her insecurities were something I just hadn't been able to help her overcome completely.

Maybe if I stayed with her now I could… Or couldn't I?

If she ever felt she didn't belong with me would she just do the same thing again? Would she run away, leaving me broken again?

My heart wanted, more than anything, to believe that she could never do that again…

I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair.

I was lost. I didn't know what to do…

Should I follow my heart and stay with Bella and give her a second chance or should I just follow my more rational side, go to L.A and go on with my life as well as I could even though I knew I would never be completely happy without her?

I didn't know…

I allowed myself to freely go through memories of Bella for the first time in a long time.

I thought about how beautiful she looked the first time I saw her. I thought about how it felt to kiss her, touch her, hear her say she loved me for the first time.

I allowed myself to think about all the times I got home and she ran into my arms. I though about how she swayed her hips slowly when she was cooking or how she smiled seductively at me every time she caught me looking at her.

Finally I thought about her hair spread on the pillow while she lay beneath me as we made love…

I stood there, in that deserted road looking at nothing in specific, wondering what I should do, until my memories spurred a realization deep inside of me.

It was all very simple, actually. It all came down to two questions.

Was the love I felt for Bella bigger than the hurt she had caused me? Could I trust her again and go on?

I knew the answer to those questions. They were looking me right in the face.

I knew what my decision should be the moment I realized I could never have a full life without Bella.

Yes, the love I felt for her was bigger than anything else. I still felt hurt – was still damaged – but maybe she could be the one fixing that.

I could give my love to her again and hope she would accept it without any doubts this time.

With time I could trust her once more. I was sure of that. I just needed a little time; a little mending and I couldn't mend away from her.

Little by little we could work on our issues and overcome them together, if she wanted.

I wasn't a fool. I knew love wasn't exactly enough. I knew we had to work on our relationship. I knew there was a lot of rebuilding to do until I could finally trust her again but I was willing to do it.

I was willing to give us a second chance because I knew I belonged with Bella and no one else.

If some cuts were too deep, my love for her overcame that. It overcame my pain and my fear of being hurt again because I knew she had done it because she thought it was the best, even thought it wasn't, and because I knew she wouldn't do it again.

Yes, there was a lot to talk about still and a lot of wounds to heal but that could only be done if I stood beside Bella.

Maybe my decision would seem incomprehensible to a lot of people but I just knew that the only way for me to be happy was with Bella.

My crazy, silly and adorable Bella…

--

BPOV

I stood curled up in that couch for what seemed like hours.

I couldn't immediately move. He had left…

Would Edward ever come back? Would I have the chance to tell him the truth? Would I be able to tell him I still loved him?

I couldn't let him leave without knowing at least that.

Emmett didn't bother me at all while I was in the living room. He probably already knew Edward was about to leave and didn't know what to say to me.

I wasn't sure what I needed to hear either…

At least I had made a decision. I couldn't stand here in this couch while the man I loved got away so easily.

I had waited too long for him and even though I blew everything up once I had him, I needed to know I had done everything I could to be with him again.

If he didn't come to me I would go after him. If I had to go to LA just to tell him I still loved him, I would.

I was just getting up when Edward walked into the room again. I realized for the first time it had gotten dark outside.

He leaned in against the wall and just stood there looking at me for what seemed like forever.

"Edward…" He raised a hand to silence me and took a step towards me.

"No. You'll listen to me first." I nodded. "You hurt me. Fuck, you broke me completely but I don't know why I always keep coming back to you…"

I immediately felt a knot form in my throat and my eyes well up once he said I had hurt him…

I knew I had but to hear him say it…

"I can't run! Even if I want to, I can't…" I turned my attention to my hands and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Edward." I truly was but there was nothing I could do to make it better.

He stood there just looking at me for what seem hours before sitting next to me and cupping my face in his hands so I was looking at him.

"Do you even still love me, Bella?"

"Of course! I could never stop loving you, Edward!" He nodded slowly.

"You used my love for you, Bella. I gave you all of myself. I gave you all of my love and you used it against me…" I tried to advert my eyes away from him knowing perfectly well I couldn't stand here looking directly at him while he told me there was no going back for us but he didn't allow me to.

I couldn't believe this was the end…

"You hurt me but as I stood in my car today, thinking, all I did was realize that I can't be whole without you…" He took a deep breath. "You were so silly, Bella."

I had been more than silly. I had been stupid maybe even shallow, childish…

"I know. Please believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt you but I know I did. I don't expect you to forgive me right now, even though I never wanted anything so much. I do hope that one day you'll able to do it, though, and I hope that day comes soon because I still love you so much…" He didn't answer my question right away, which made me feel like maybe he couldn't.

I suddenly felt like there was a part of me I needed to share with him to make him understand.

"Edward, when we were together I used to look at you and see it there in your eyes that you loved me. I could see the longing, the honesty in them and even though I knew I loved you with all my heart I didn't know if that love was enough." I could tell he wanted to interrupt me but I didn't let him. "I didn't know if that love was enough because I didn't simply want you like you wanted me. I needed you too and not in the honest way two lovers need each other. Not in the way you needed me. I constantly needed you as a reassurance I deserved to be happy. I needed you to make me feel good about myself and I needed you to make me whole. I was selfish and now I can see that I was never able to love you as you loved me because I always doubted myself. Our relationship was uneven and I apologize for that. I apologize for pushing you away because I couldn't deal with my own insecurities. I apologize for hurting you. I know I don't deserve a second chance but if you do give me one, I promise that this time I'll give myself completely to you."

He stood silent after my little confession, thinking my words over. Would they be enough to make him realize how much I loved him?

He had said he couldn't be whole without me. I hoped that meant we would be okay.

He still looked a little hurt but that wasn't the main emotion portrayed in his eyes anymore.

I could see sadness there but also love. Love for me. He was beginning to forgive me…

"I can't believe I stayed away from you for so long because of those silly, stupid reasons of yours…" I placed my hand over his on my face and caress it lightly.

"I never meant to hurt you, Edward. I'm sorry I did."

"I still love you with all my heart, Bella. I think you know that, but what you also need to know is that I can't love you enough for both of us. You have to love and trust yourself a little bit too in order for us to be together again."

"I know and I'm willing to work on that." He smiled at me. "I'm so sorry for everything…"

"It's okay. It doesn't matter anymore if you're willing to work on this with me. All that matters is that you are here now. Alive, healthy and as beautiful as ever." He kissed the tip of my nose before continuing. "And I love you. I still love you so much…"

Tears started to form in my eyes again as I realized that even after what I did, even after we've been apart for so long he still loved me, still wanted me. They were happy tears…

"I love you, too." He nodded slowly before leaning in to softly kiss my lips.

"Please tell me you won't let your silly insecurities and those ludicrous ideas that you aren't good enough for me get in between us again. You have to understand that you are amazing, Bella." I smiled at him before nodding.

"I can't promise you I will never feel insecure but I can promise you that every time I feel like I'm not worthy of you, I'll tell you and you can make me forget all about it. You can help me overcome them. What do you say to that? Does it sound good?"

"It does. I'll do my best to make you realize just how worthy we are of each other." He kissed my lips once more before wrapping his arms around me, making us move so he was lying on his back on the couch and I could rest my head on his chest.

We stood still for several minutes while he played with the strands of my hair and rubbed my back in a soothing manner.

Now that I had told him everything I felt like all my worries had gone away and all the weight of the world had been lifted off my back but there was still something I needed to know.

"Edward?"

"Yes?" He moved to kiss the top of my head as I sighed and moved so I was looking straight at him.

"Why did you believe me so easily? I mean, I was sure you would see right through me and I would have to spend hours just trying to plant the seed of doubt in your mind but I didn't! You believed in me right away!" He nodded once while taking a deep breath.

He seemed to think his answer over for a few minutes before moving his hand to my face. I kissed his palm once, encouraging him to go on.

"I always felt like…" He shook his head and took another deep breath. "Since the first time I kissed you and realized I was in love with you, I always feared losing you. I never wanted to take you for granted because I always feared that once day you would turn around and realize you didn't want to be with me anymore. I guess our insecurities weren't that different." I turned his words over in my head for a few minutes while looking at him. Could we really have feared the exact same thing all along?

"We're crazy, aren't we?" He laughed dryly as I shook my head.

"Anyway, I guess that's why I believed you so easily. I couldn't think straight, I could only repeat your words on my head over and over again." I nodded.

I would probably only be able to concentrate on those words as well if it had been the other way around. I wouldn't take it half as well as he had.

"Despite all this we're okay now, aren't we? Will you ever trust me again?" The possibility that we weren't and that he couldn't trust me again scared me more than I would like to admit.

He lightly placed his hand on my neck, being careful not to hurt me, and pulled me in for a kiss.

"Yes, we're okay. When it comes to trusting you… Well, we'll just have to work on that a little, okay? We have a whole relationship to rebuild. It probably won't always be easy but I'm here for the ride if you are."

"I am." I would do anything to make him trust me again.

He ran his hand lightly along my head before smiling.

"Good. All we have to do now is get you completely healed and we will be great."

"It's funny how this is exactly what I didn't want you to have to go through." It was funny how life worked…

He furrowed his brow but I knew he understood me.

"Don't say that, Bella. Let me take care of you because I want to do it and because I love you. I'm not letting you push me away this time." I smiled at him and softly kissed his lips before resting my head back on his chest.

I guess there wasn't anything wrong in me allowing him to take care of me for a while, especially because he was already doing it so well.

"Are you still moving to LA?" He shrugged.

"I don't even know anymore. Probably not."

"I can go with you if you want."

"We'll think about that later. Maybe I can still stay here until they open that branch. Either way, I'm not going anywhere until you are completely healed." I nodded and he gently pulled me closer again so I was resting my head on his chest.

I kissed his chest and closed my eyes simply enjoying his close proximity.

He was here. He really was here.

He had come back to me and this time around there was no way I would let him go.

Ever!

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	30. Chapter 29 Release

Chapter 29! Now there's only the prologue left!

So, after everything that happened I thought Edward and Bella deserved to have some fun. Having that in mind this chapter is rated M!

I hope you like it.

Thanks to eye ree for helping!

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**Chapter 29 ****– Release**

BPOV

I sighed and stretched my body. It was night time and I was lying in bed on my stomach, looking at Edward.

He was lying on his side, running a hand up and down my back. He would every so often lean in and place a kiss on my shoulder making me smile.

Only one light was on and it touched his bare torso almost making the skin there shine. He was breath taking like this, quiet and looking at me like I would disappear if he blinked.

I reached my hand to touch his face several times, earning a smile each time I did it.

I loved being like this with him again. It made me feel comfortable and cherished like I really was important and I knew that to him I was.

My life was very close to perfect right now but lately I found myself craving for more, even though I knew it was selfish of me.

We were both working on our relationship, overcoming our problems and learning how to belong to each other again.

It'd been six months ago since I was released from the hospital and I told him the whole truth, six months of us being together. He had moved back in with me shortly after and three months ago the doctor had said I could go back to my normal life.

He even felt the need to let me and Edward, who was present, know that we could resume our activities, as he had put it, with care.

I was completely healed, he had said.

Both Edward and I knew what his words meant but he still wouldn't make a move on me. I knew he was worried about me and didn't want to hurt me but I was healed!

I could finally enjoy making love with my boyfriend again.

I tried telling him this several times but Edward would never give in too much. We would kiss and touch but when things started to get too out of hand he would pull back telling me to stop, to slow down.

As much as I tried to control it, my self-conscious side was starting to think that maybe he just didn't want me like that anymore.

He could tell when I was thinking something like that and would immediately reassure me that there was nothing he wanted more than to be with me, that he was only worried and that he thought I should have more time to heal.

I knew he meant well and I knew he did want me, but still…

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?" I bit my lower lip trying to find a way of telling him how I felt.

"Do you want me? I mean, physically want me?" He seemed surprised for a second but quickly came to place a kiss on my cheek.

"You know I do, Bella. How could I not?"

"Then why won't you make love with me?" He took a deep breath, knowing where this was going.

We had talked about this before.

"I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want to hurt you." It was my turn to sigh.

"How can you hurt me? All I can see happening is you giving me a lot of pleasure and that won't kill me!" He frowned but didn't say anything.

Was he worried that the pleasure would send me into some kind of seizure?

"Edward, do you really think that?" I didn't need to explain myself. He knew what I meant.

"Not exactly. I'm more worried with the fact that making love will require some physical effort and that might…" He trailed off, looking over my shoulder to the wall.

"Edward, my brain is completely clean. I can go parachuting if I want!" He gave me a look that clearly said 'don't even think about it' and came to kiss my temple.

"I know."

I sighed deeply and turned on my back. "You're awfully dramatic, Edward."

"I'm not dramatic. I'm just taking care of you, Bella. I don't want to lose you."

"Right." Selfishly, I found myself wanting to cry. I should probably be used to his rejection by now but I wasn't. It still hurt.

I tried to control myself, though. I had promised him I wouldn't let my insecurities get to me again, after all…

I couldn't screw things up between us again.

He moved closer to me, wrapped one arm around my waist and placed his head on the crook of my neck, kissing and licking the skin there.

"Don't be like that, Bella. I don't want to see you sad."

"Then don't make me!" It was a low blow, I knew, but still…

"Look at me, Bella." I thought about not doing it but eventually did. His eyes burned when they locked with mine.

"Can't you tell, Bella that you are all I want? It has been like that since the first time I saw you in that bookstore. Not even the time we spent apart changed that. Making love with you is all I want." Looking into his eyes I knew he meant it.

I closed my eyes and sighed, ready to give up this fight for the night but he suddenly started to kiss my neck in that amazing way he did and my need for him reawakened.

"Please, Edward…" He stopped moving for a few minutes, his face hidden on my neck, but eventually turned to look at me.

The mixture of desire and lust visible in his eyes let me know that maybe this would be it.

"If you feel anything out of the ordinary you have to tell me!" I nodded enthusiastically and bit my lower lip before he took it in between his.

His hands started to move up and down my sides while mine did the same to his back.

He soon was kissing me everywhere. My face, my neck, my throat, my chest and even my breasts through the fabric of my tank top.

One of his hands came to the hem of it, pulling it up and I was much too eager to help him pull it off.

When my top hit the floor he stopped to look at my bare chest before leaning in to kiss each of my breasts.

His mouth sent a shiver through every inch of skin he touched.

I moved so I could touch his chest and placed one of my hands on the waistband of his boxers with the intent of pulling it down.

He sucked greedily against my nipple and then turned his attention back to my neck, biting the skin near my shoulder.

"Hmm… That feels so good!" He seemed to like what he heard because he bit down on that spot again before taking my earlobe in his mouth.

Once his hands came up to play with my breasts I took the chance to pull his boxers completely down.

He left my body in order to take them off but quickly returned to his spot between my legs.

He kissed up my legs, stopping at my hips so he could take my panties off and once they were, he returned to kissing my legs again.

Fog seemed to take over my mind, making me stop thinking all together and just feel every single one of his touches. I had to close my eyes due to the amazing feeling of being in a state of total bliss.

He kissed the inside of my thighs several times, licking and nibbling the skin there until he moved his head slightly in order to press his lips to my centre.

I moaned and moved my hips upwards, letting him know what I wanted him to do.

Understanding what I needed, he spread my legs wider and thrust his tongue inside of me, running it up and down my entrance.

He licked me completely several times, deliberately missing my clit.

I placed one hand on his hair that was sticking out from between my parted legs while the other one gripped the sheets beneath me. When I strongly tugged on his hair he moved his tongue to my clit, circling it before taking it in his mouth.

I moaned loudly and pulled one of my legs higher in order to give him a better access.

While he sucked on my clit, he pushed a finger inside of me soon followed by another one when he knew I was ready. That amazing feeling of pleasure started to form in my stomach and all I could do was gasp and moan loudly.

"Oh, Edward! Yes!" His fingers kept moving in and out of me, curling up when they were inside so he would touch all the right places.

It had been so long, I wouldn't last for much longer.

The feeling of him moving his fingers inside of me conjured with the fact that he was still sucking on my clit was too much and I quickly reached my release.

I came hard, panting and screaming his name.

He removed his fingers from inside of me and grabbed my leg before leaving a trail of kisses up my body.

He kissed my thighs, my stomach, my hardened nipples, my neck, my cheeks, my eyes and finally my mouth.

When we pulled back he placed his lips near my ear.

"Are you okay?"

"Definitely!" He sucked gently on my earlobe while nodding.

"You still taste so good, love. Better than I remembered." I whimpered into his shoulder and wrapped my legs around him, feeling his hard erection pressed against my thigh.

I might have had my release but he hadn't yet.

I bit his shoulder lightly and started to run a hand down his body.

I stopped when I reached his erection, running a finger along it before wrapping my hands around it.

He felt soft, long, hard and tick in my hand and I started to move it up and down slowly making him groan into my neck.

He was so big that my small hand couldn't touch all of him so I moved my other hand down between our bodies and wrapped it around him as well.

I moved my hands along his length faster and faster, feeling him grab my waist until I decided I couldn't work properly in this position.

I let go of him and pushed against his chest so that he was lying on his back and I could sit down on his lap, straddling him.

He seemed taken aback for a second but closed his eyes and moaned when I wrapped my hands around his erection again, starting where I had left off.

I moved my hands faster with every stroke, feeling him get even harder between them while his hands came to rest on my hips.

I suddenly got an amazing urge to taste him. It had been so long…

I unwrapped my hands form around him, only to substitute them with my mouth.

I lazily kissed his tip a few times before taking him completely in my mouth. One of my hands went to his balls, stroking them while I sucked on him.

I could hear him groaning and moaning and that only made my desire grow. I looked up through my eyelashes and saw that he was looking down at me through half opened eyes.

I sucked him slowly from base to tip, three more times before he pulled me up along his body. I knew he was close and he never let himself come in my mouth unless he was sure I wanted it.

I liked giving him pleasure like this but, if I was being sincere, I was not always ready to have him spill inside my mouth and he always seemed able to tell what those moments were.

He cupped my ass while biting my neck and I knew what we both needed.

I sat up on his lap again and positioned him at my entrance, lowering myself on him and taking every inch of him inside of me.

This was it! After so long I finally felt complete. I needed him so much I couldn't think straight.

I wanted to crawl inside of him.

We started to move together, faster and faster with every thrust and soon I could tell he was close.

His hands were squeezing my ass while he threw his head back groaning. He was so beautiful like this!

"Oh, Bella!" I could tell he was only holding on so I could come with him, so I placed my hands on his shoulder and starting moving even faster.

I could feel him deep inside of me in this position and I screamed loudly when I started to feel my climax getting nearer.

A few more thrusts and he started pulsing inside of me while shuddering and saying my name.

His release only triggered my own and I soon found myself following him while screaming his name.

I collapsed on top of him and he readjusted our positions so I was lying comfortably on his chest.

We stayed quiet for a while, recovering, until he kissed the top of my head and spoke.

"How are you feeling?"

"Amazing! I haven't felt this good in a long time!" I turned to kiss his chest and felt him chuckle beneath me.

"I'm glad you feel like that but I was actually wondering about your beautiful head."

"I'm great, Edward. I'm fully recovered."

"I know. I just want to make sure…" I moved a little more so I could look directly at him.

"The doctor cleared me long ago. We could have done this a long time ago already. You made me beg for you."

"That's because you're insatiable. You didn't have to beg, though. I was more than willing to give in to you." He winked at me while I faked an offended look at the insatiable comment. "But really, I had to know you were ready."

"I have been ready for a long time." He pulled me closer so he could kiss me and I then lay my head back on his chest.

"You have no idea of how much I wanted this. Longed to have you in my arms like this again."

"I know. I missed you so much."

"I know. I longed to touch you, kiss you, hear you laugh, make love with you, over and over again." I didn't say anything, moving again so I could look deep into his eyes.

"I'm so sorry for everything, Edward. I love you so much." He took my face on his hands and smiled.

"I know and it's okay. It's past us. Let's just forget about it and be happy again." I leaned in, pressing our forehead together.

"You're more than I deserve." He kissed the tip of my nose before cradling me against his chest once more.

"No, Bella, I'm not. We're perfect for each other." I closed my eyes, enjoying the weight of his arms around me.

Lying like this with him, I truly did believe that. We were perfect for one another. We would make it together.

Before I could fall asleep he called my name again.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, too." I smiled into his chest and feeling satisfied, happy, safe and warm drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

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Only the epilogue left now.

Also, I'm participating in the Twilight Twenty Five challenge so if you can please go check my entries. The link for the official website of the challenge is on my profile and there you can check everyone's entries.


	31. Epilogue

Here's the epilogue! It's not too long but I think it is enough and ends Edward and Bella's story nicely.

I can't believe this story has come to an end, though! Thank you so much to everyone who has read and review this. Your support means a lot. Thank you!

Thank you to eye ree for helping me, as well.

I hope you like the epilogue.

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Epilogue

_Three Years Later_

I stretched my sore body and lazily ran a hand along my stomach before sighing.

I had spent the day on the couch, writing a little and reading but I felt like I had just ran the marathon.

I was quite hungry as well. No surprise there since I always seemed to be hungry lately.

Realizingthat it was probably a good idea to walk around a little, I got up and headed for the kitchen.

I opened a bag of chips, knowing that even though it wasn't the healthiest food in the world, it was definitely tasty. I was done with it and was washing my hands and the dish from lunch when I heard the front door open and then close.

Edward was home

I didn't have to wait long. Not one minute later, Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind, making my back press against his chest and kissed my neck before speaking near my ear.

"How are you, love?" I moved my head a little so I could look at him and lazily kissed his jaw.

"I'm very good."

"What about our boy?" He moved one of his hands from my waist to my belly, caressing it and I couldn't help but to smile. At seven months of pregnancy, and although I sometimes felt huge, Edward seemed to find my belly absolutely fascinating.

"I think we can say he is very good as well. He may have misbehaved a little actually…" Edward picked up on my playful tone still but raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "He's been kicking all day."

He smiled and made me move carefully so we were facing each other. He was even more careful with me since I found out I was pregnant. He was always making sure I was steady and didn't fall. I too tried to walk more carefully and paid more attention to my movements in an attempt not to fall. I didn't want to hurt our baby in any way.

Edward sat down in a chair near us and I moved so I was standing between his legs. He ran his hands along my belly again before lifting my shirt and leaning in to kiss it. Our baby immediately kicked when he did so making his daddy smile widely. Every time Edward touched or kissed my bare belly, the baby would kick. It was almost as if he recognized Edward.

"I see we're already giving mommy a hard time, aren't we?" I nodded and Edward smiled. "We can't have that, little one. You'll have to make it easy for mommy, okay?"

He lightly tickled my belly and the baby kicked once more.

"See? He kicked again! He's going to be a rebel!" Edward chuckled and leaned in to kiss my belly once more.

He was going to be such a great dad once the baby was born.

He was so excited with my pregnancy I could only imagine what it would be like once our baby was born and he could hold him.

I didn't immediately tell him I thought I was pregnant since I wanted to be sure first. I wanted it to be a surprise as well so when I felt sick I went to the doctor.

When I got home I placed the sonogram of our baby on his pillow with a post it note, pointing to where the fetus was and saying 'Look! It seems like you're going to be a daddy.'

I waited for him to get home and stayed on the living room as he went to our bedroom.

It took him all of two minutes to come back into the living room and scoop me in his arms. He, of course, made me promise I would take him with me on my next appointment.

I did and couldn't fight the tears away as I saw him smile up at the monitor. He would be a great father and I was finally ready to be a mother.

We had been married for almost two years when I found out I was pregnant and even though I had never truly wanted to get married, it had been a wonderful day. Everyone I love was there and with Alice in charge of the party nothing could've gone wrong.

My wedding day was a day I remembered with happiness thanks to all the amazing people I knew, and of course, Edward who looked sinfully delicious that day.

It was amazing how I couldn't remember why I always dreaded marriage before. Edward had asked me to marry him in such a wonderful way in our bookstore that there was no way I could say no.

The moment he asked me to be his wife all my fears involving marriage immediately disappeared and I was ready.

Edward was visibly nervous as he got on one knee in front of me, probably thinking that I was about to freak out and run away, he even stuttered once, something I had never seen him do before.

I quickly reassured him that there was nothing I would love more but to be his wife.

Alice and Jasper got married shortly after, followed by Emmett and Rosalie who actually beat us all when it came to starting a family. They already had a three months old baby girl named Anna who was Emmett's pride and joy.

It seemed like all of us had finally settled down for good and, as cheesy as it sounded, found our own happy ever after ending.

EPOV

I laid down on bed with Bella and pulled her shirt a little up so I could kiss her expanding stomach.

She looked incredibly beautiful pregnant and if I was being truth to myself I had to confess I loved knowing it was my baby in there.

Just two more months and I would get to hold him. I couldn't wait for that moment.

I wondered who he would look like. Would he have Bella's deep brown eyes or would his eyes be green like my own? I knew Bella wished our baby would have hair like mine but I would prefer not to curse him with hair hair that was impossible to tame

Damn, I really couldn't wait for him to be born!

Bella knotted her hand in my hair and I looked up at her smiling before placing another kiss on her stomach and making the baby kick.

I smiled and whispered I love you against Bella's stomach before moving so I could kiss her lips.

In a way it surprised me how much I wanted to be a father, how ready I was. Then again I felt ready when we thought she was pregnant all those years ago.

The moment she told me she was pregnant six months ago, all I wanted to do was jump up and down and scream that I was going to be a father. I needed to know if Bella was happy with the news, though.

I asked her if she was happy and she simply smiled brightly at me, letting me know she was and that was all I needed to know.

I ran to her and picked her up, twirling her around before I remembered I was dealing with a pregnant woman now.

I would have to make sure her clumsiness was under control.

I did lay her down on our bed that night and made love to her, making sure to let her know I couldn't be happier.

Just like when she accepted my marriage proposal she surprised me by being completely at ease with the idea of being a mother.

I quickly realized that what she went through had changed her in a way. She had changed her point of view on a few subjects and now she was finally ready to start a family with me.

A family I had the intention of taking care of. A family I wanted to protect. A family I fully intended on making as big as Bella would let me.

Three little kids who looked like us, running around the house and driving us crazy sounded good, right?

Yes, it sounded just perfect…


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